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Original poster

I have 4 children and wont be having any more but I want another baby, when will this feeling go ?

53 replies

fidelma · 05/04/2010 18:27

My youngest is 6 months and I feel like I want another help

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

KickArseQueen · 19/06/2010 22:04

Oh! Dizzy, thats sad, I'm sorry that happened to you! Give him a little time to get over the shock and grief, hopefully he will come round, I understand the "someone missing" feeling, hope it all works out the way you wish. (((((((((Unmumsnetty hugs))))))

dizzydixies · 19/06/2010 22:18

thanks KickArse but this is the second baby we've lost at 15wks and I just don't think he will budge at all. All very soon though so I'll give him some time.

NonnoMum · 19/06/2010 22:29

Interesting thread. Is there anyone around medically trained/in mental health (or whatever) who can shed any more light on this issue? Lots of us seem to have this yearning regardless of practicalities but emotionally still contemplate another one...

Or do we just have to wait (a long time) for the grandchildren?

(Off to sniff my sleeping babies now and see it there is room in the house for just one more)...

dizzydixies · 19/06/2010 22:41

NonnoMum, I've no idea but I always thought I would have 4kids, 4 girls at that and it just seems so strange for me to be 3/4 of the way there and not have them iyswim? I've been pregnant 5 times in the last 8yrs with 3 live births. Not easy pregnancies or births either so feck knows why I still want it but I do

NonnoMum · 19/06/2010 22:49

V sorry for your losses...

dizzydixies · 19/06/2010 22:50

thanks, hopefully someone with some insight rather than just plain longing will be along soon

sweetkitty · 20/06/2010 17:20

dizzy

I thought DD3 was our last (SPD pregnancies) but when she was 3 months DP started saying she couldn't be our last, took me about a minute to be convinced

Our DD4 shockingly turned out to be DS but girl or boy I know we are now finished. There is no way I could have 5, 4 is really pushing it. I am trying to treasure every minute of DS who's only 6 weeks.

nymphadora · 20/06/2010 17:26

I'm pg with dc3(dh first) we talked about 2 together but this pregnancy has been difficult & no. 4 would mean a house move and car change etc.

I can't quite say it's my last but certainly have to think about it

Maybee · 20/06/2010 22:24

I can relate so well to these posts. We've 3 sons and my dh has said that's enough. Our youngest is 10 months. He recently mentioned the snip and I actively discouraged him. Its not practical for us to have anymore for financial reasons. 2 weeks ago I had a pg scare and was in fact relieved if slightly disappointed to test negative but lo and behold 2 days later I'm back to peeping into prams again!
I told dh that we might feel like another in a year but he does not think so although he did say he'd love a little girl. So it has n't been ruled out completely although I'm no spring chicken so time is not on my side!
Broodiness just seems to defy all logic although I have friends who just knew they were finished after 1 or 2.
I wonder why some people long for more babes and others are happy enough.

NonnoMum · 21/06/2010 16:04

That's exactly it, Maybee. Some people can say, "Been there, done my bit, no more" after one or two, but some of us just don't know how to stop the longing. Am pretty sure I have stopped but want to feel and smell a newborn once more.

Need to get a hobby I think...

Maybee · 21/06/2010 17:16

yes nonno,
i was tghinking of creative writing meself!

Maybee · 21/06/2010 19:02

yikes when I master spelling that is!

dizzydixies · 21/06/2010 23:23

ladies I have more hobbies than you can shake a stick at and it doesn't help me!!

sweetkitty · 22/06/2010 12:17

If it helps anyone I'm in the middle of newborn hell, cluster feeding/unsettled have no evenings or time to myself. So hard when you have other DCs as well.

My only hobby right now is sleeping!

But we all forget and doesn't stop the looking into prams or the broodiness.

Am still not having anymore though

4madboys · 22/06/2010 12:41

after i had ds4 i looked directly at the camera and swore that i would NEVER do that again and that we were done with 4.

i am now 18wks pregnant with no 5 as i just really wanted one more....... this has to be the last tho, financially, size of house, car etc, unless we win the lottery or something!

i really hope that the broody feeling does go away, i do think i will be done after this one tho, my eldest is ten and starts high school this sept so i feel like we are moving on in some ways, it will be odd to have a newborn as he is starting high school!

plus i am 31 and would like to get a job and have a bit of a career once they are all old enough and hopefully i will still be young enough!

sweetkitty · 22/06/2010 14:16

4madboys - but haven't you been told you "have to try for the girl?" I have beent old countless times that I can stop now I have the precious son.

Lost count of the "did you try for a boy?" comments we have had. We wanted 4 plain and simple.

Does anyone think that a lot of the comments about family size you get are a bit tinged with jealously?

4andnotout · 22/06/2010 14:19

I'm the same

DD4 is 20 months now so its about time we had another really, admittedly we will have nothing but earache from dp's family but i can live with that!

Maybee · 22/06/2010 16:33

Enjoy newborn hell sweet kitty. I remember it all too well. I n fact I only came out of the baby haze a couple of months ago !(9month old now) Hellish as it was I miss it! What is wrong with me?

CarGirl · 22/06/2010 16:36

I was desperate for a 4th, we had her on the agreement I would not ask to have any more, TBH the broodiness is nowhere near as strong as it was before her but I'm very very sad that I'm being sterlised soon and there will definately not be a 5th

ILoveGregoryHouse · 22/06/2010 16:46

Am pg with DC4 who is a DD after three DSs. At the moment, I am looking forward to this being my last pregnancy (also have SPD for the third time), the last labour, last newborn hell. What I'm not looking forward to is the wish to have another that I know I'll get and won't be able to fulfill for loads of reasons - the main one being that I'm now 41 and another that the SPD is just too much for me this time.

But you can't help how you feel. Can you think about channelling all that extra love into fostering like chegirl is thinking about?

4madboys · 22/06/2010 16:56

oh yes everyone assumes i am DESPERATE for a girl really DONT care what it is.

tbh i think the main reason i was so certain after having ds4 was that i had a very quick, very intense labour and unlike the others where it was painful but i felt in control, with ds4 it just felt out of control and awful hence the venom in my voice, it is embarrasing to have it on film that i wasnt going to have anymore, i may just have to delete that particular file on the pc....

have to say my family were not that happy that i am having another one, my inlaws are fine tho, tho my mil did give me a newspaper article the other day telling me things that are supposed to influence the sex of the baby.... and when i bought some maternity jeans she said i would have to have another few after this one to get my monies worth! she had better have been joking, but i get the feeling if this one is a boy that certain family members would like me to 'try again'......

tbh i DO like the idea of having 6, i dont really know why, but it wont happen unless we suddenly have more money a bigger house, car etc.

have to say dp is the same as me, never say never and he doesnt want to get the snip as we 'dont know what the future may hold' given that i am 31 and he is 33 we have a few years yet.....

4andnotout · 22/06/2010 16:57

4madboys i can swap you one of my four girls We have exactly the same comments!

Maybee · 22/06/2010 19:14

How lovely IloveG and lucky you 4 mad boys to have a dp who is quite happy to increase the family.
Dh mentioned the snip to me at the weekend I was secretly horrified but did discourage him!

gibbberish · 22/06/2010 19:27

I have four girls and my youngest is 9 now. I was terribly broody after having her and desperately wanted more but dh went for the snip.

When dd4 was about 4yo and we were fully out of the prams/nappies stage we discovered that things were much easier physically and we were getting much needed sleep once again. Our lives started to become our own again with dh and I being able to socialise more. It was around then I suddenly realised I couldnt go back to the baby stage and my broodiness had finally gone.

Now I'm glad we stopped at four.

Margeaux · 23/06/2010 13:29

I have been very broody on and off since my youngest (of 4) was born. She's coming up 9 now and I would still love another. It's only a reluctant DH and the fact I know we can't afford it that stops me going for it.

Sometimes I can go weeks feeling no broodiness whatsoever and then it comes back worse than ever. Today I saw a friend of a friend breastfeeding her newborn and the broodiness is back worse than ever!

I really want to be pregnant again, and to breastfeed, and to snuggle a tiny baby and sniff its little head. It's almost painful being soooooooo broody.

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