4 in 12 years too close together or too spaced apart?

[foreverastudent]

Hypothetically speaking, do peole with 4 DCs think 12 years between DC1 and DC4 with fairly even spacing in the middle is too spread out or too far apart?

I already have a 5 year gap which has worked really well and wouldn't ever want to have 2 in nappies or to need a double buggy so want 2 1/2 year gaps at least.

I am one of 3 (I know, not what you asked) and my brother is 10 years older, sister is 8 years older. I always wished my mum had had another one inbetween me and my sister.

I dont feel I really 'know' my brother as he went to Uni when I was 9 so didnt have realy brother / sister relationship.

My sister and I also didnt really grow up together etc.

Totally personal choice though.

I had 4 in 6 years with 2 mc in between hence the bigger gaps (3 years between 1&2 and 2y6mo between 2&3) it has worked for us but personally I found it harder going back to nappies, sleepless nights etc, the 13mo between dd3 and dd4 has been easiest for us.

However all families are different and what suits are family may not suit yours. ( This post is probably no help whatsoever)

I was 6 1/2 yrs younger than my sister and to be honest, we both felt like only children until I reached late teens and she was in her 20's. I had 3 within 4 1/2 years, partly because I didn't want to do the same as my Mum - who thought I was barmy!

I have an 11year old DD and my next 3 DC are all under 3 at the moment.Which unfortunately means 3 in nappies but i think that when DD2 shows an interest in potty training i think DS1 won't be far behind even thou he's 14 months younger as he learns so much from her.
My eldest was an only child for 8 years. She has adapted amazingly well to suddenly being 1 of 4. She is an amazing help to me. The down side is although she too wants a big family she doesnt want it for a long time! So no GC for a while but i can live with that!

I am one of 4 and have 4. There's only 7 years between me (eldest) and my brother (youngest) but this we both felt was too big a gap. He had to grow up with a depressed and stroppy teenager and was exposed to things that he wasn't ready for all the time whereas I never got to do anything interesting or exciting that was at my level because we always had to think about the little one. I have a four year old, a 3 year old and 4 month old twins. I think I'll be happier with the length of that gap than the one we had in our family.

These are really small considerations though I think. There are advantages and disadvantages whatever you choose.

We have just under 5 years between my eldest DD1 and my youngest DD2, with 2 in the middle. All children are 18 or 19 months apart. I don't know how it will pan out because the youngest is still a baby, but personally we did it this way so that we can do as much as possible as a family unit and also so that I don't have to go constantly back to square 1, as I want my life to move on now )

I have a 9yo dd and a 5yo ds and we are currently ttc#3, I would have liked to try sooner but Dh has only just realised he wants more dc.
The 4.5 years meant I got to enjoy both of them as babies individually and worked really well. However because of the bigger gap this time and the fact I really wanted to have all my children before 30(am 29 now so not going to happen) I hope to have two more closer together this time.

I have 5 years between each of mine (they are now almost 11, 6 and 10 months). I love it and so do they. The 6 and 10 year old are really close and they dote on their baby sister. I have especially loved having each one at home just with me until they started school. I can't say as I would have planned it that way but that's the way it happened and it has worked for us.

I have a 2, 3,then 4 year gap between my 4.

DD1 was 9 when the baby was born.

It does hold us back a bit but they are learning different skills.We are a close family.

I found the 3 year gap the easiest.

mine are quite close together as dc1 was just 5 when dc4 was born

3.3 yrs between dc1 & dc2
19 mins between dc2 & dc3
21 mths between dc2&3 & dc4

Mine are 10, 8, 4 and 21 months. If I was doing it again I'd have them closer together. I feel that the older ones are restricted by having to do things that are suitable for the younger ones. If your life/DH/marriage/house/body/finances/career can take it, have them close together

I love big age gaps. I am pregnant with DC4 and DS is almost 14. I have
DS almost 14
DD1 almost 12
DD2 6
DD3 due in 5 weeks!

My DS and DD1 hardly interact despite the 2 year age gap. My 2 DDs love each other and are together a lot although it's a very maternal relationship that dd1 has with her sister. Interestingly DS and DD2 fight loads... he loves to wind her up and she hits him and he laughs at her etc... but they hug and love each other really.

Can't wait to see what DD3 is going to do to the mix!!

I've got a 10 year age gap between #1 and #4 and I don't think it's too big

dd1 12 in 3 weeks
dd2 10 in 4 weeks
dd3 5
ds 2

I know if I'd have had smaller gaps between them all I'd have lost the plot completely!

I have 4 children

DD1 11
DD2 7 1/2
DD3 4 1/2
DS 8 months

I personally found when the girls were younger the bigger age gap was great I never had 2 in nappies at the same time or in a buggy together, but now they are getting older its more of a nightmare, the oldest gets bored if we do things to accommodate the 4 yr old, the 7 yr old thinks she's 11 but plays with the 4 yr old's toys and the baby just attacks them all (as crawling). As my partner and I don't have a support network it makes it hard to do things alone with the older/younger one's. My friend has 4 under 5 and as manic it sounds whenever we call they all play together and she can entertain them a lot easier as they are all happy to do similar things. If I did it all again I would probably have them closer together.

I have 3 older and a 7 yr gap then to the youngest who is now 3. The little one was our surprise. He has taught the older ones so much and given us such fun that I really recommend a fourth child with a large gap. Fantastic.

Hi - I have dd1 who's nearly 18, dd2 who's 13, ds1 who's 11 and ds2 who's 5. DS2 absolutely adores dd1 and dd2 as they're his alternative mummies!

I am the youngest of 4, my sister and brothers are 13, 12 and 10 years older than me. Yes, I was a "suprise"

I have never felt close to them.

Obviously though there aren't any siblings in between, if there had been it might have been different.

My fourth is due in sept. So that's 4 children in 8 years. It's been nonstop.

4 babies in 12 years sounds like lovely spacing. .