Would love a fourth child, and there is really only one thing stopping us...

[sodellap]

We just don't have the room Already ds1(11) and ds2(4) share a room and dd(9) has a tiny room. I really couldn't expect her to share.

All the other objections to another baby I can get round, eg bigger car - well we only have old bangers anyway and we need a new car at the mo and jsut as easy to pick up am old banger people carrier.

So only one real reason not to have another baby. But a really big reason. We live in a council house btw so no option to extend and there are no 4 bedroom houses in the area...

(namechanger btw)

Did I mention that I am very very broody?

Such a shame that it's just bedroom space holding you back.

It could be a year or more before you actually have the baby if you started ttc now. Is there any chance that you circumstances could be different by then? Could the new baby sleep in your bedroom for a year giving you about two years before you'd need the extra bedroom and by then your circumstances could have changed.

I know you've said there aren't any 4 bedroom council houses in your area but could you move a little further away or rent a house locally? Or what about moving your daughter and the new baby into your room and you and your DH having hers?

Gosh I am almost in exactly the same position with a couple of added difficulties thrown in. So I shall watch this thread with interest. Financial situation is really holding me back but I am desperately broody.

I'm also desperate for DC4....

reasons against-
-We only live in a 2bed house (is our own home and can't afford to sell and buy 3/4 bed)
-I only just managed to get DH to agree that DC3 was a good idea...
-DC3 is only 11.5mo
-I had her 8wks prem and it was very tough going for the first few months.
-Had to have EMCS with DC3
-I had bloody awful MS (hyperemesis) with DC1 & 3
-I got mild SPD with DC3
-Need a bigger car
-I wouldn't be able to go back to work for another 2 years than already planned...

reasons for-
-We have an unused room downstairs which we're making a bedroom so we can make room for another DC's room... leaving enough room for another DC upstairs...
-Can buy a new car pretty easily
-I WANT ANOTHER DC!!!!
-DH is starting to come round to my way of thinking but is just worried about finances being more strained

I need more reasons for i think before he'll defo be on board!! But in my favour, he didn't want more than 1DC, now he wouldn't have it any different!!

I think that if you want another, and don't have one because of practicalities, you will regret it when you get older. An aunt told me that she was ummming and ahhhing about having a third, and she decided it would be too expensive, they would have to move etc... Now she really regrets it. She loves her 2 DSs (now in their late 20s) but wonders about the child she may have had.

The way I look at it- You will never regret having a DC, but you may well regret not having one.

Stella- you know what- i keep saying that to DH, that i just know that we may have more money, maybe a better quality of living but in 20 years time if we've not had another child i'd really regret it!! Lucky too as i was very close to asking to be sterilised shortly after having DD2 as we'd had such a tough time with PG and her being prem... Now i know why i was wavering on the decision... in the last 6mths i've flipped 180 degrees and know i WANT another baby!!

I have 5 children (4 are from a previous long term relationship i had and the youngest is mine and my husbands). My eldest daughter has quadraplegic cerebal palsy and my third child has ASD. We have a 4 bed house but my daughter who has quad CP can't share her room...plus its full of medical equip. My 2 boys share a box bedroom and the other 2 girls share a fairly decent sized room (atm theres 2 beds in there but we could do a bunk and a bed in there so there'd be 3 beds in the room).

I would love to have one last child though (i would definately stop at 6).
Money is a big factor,as is space but like other posters have said i don't want me and my husband to regret that we only had one child between us (he doesn't have any other biological children) when we're older.

People think i'm an idiot and seem to have no problems in telling me that for suggesting i'd love number 6. Fact is though i cope well and get help through direct payments for my child with a disability. I love all my kids,they're very well behaved and our house is filled with fun (and washing but i wouldn't have it any other way. The children are all doing well at school too and have hobbies each.

We're in a council house atm but are looking to move all going to plan in 5 years time.
I think large families that live in small houses grow up very close,not just due to the lack of space lol but they often forge strong bonds with each other and have to learn to be a little more tolerant as theres not the option to go and escape one and other. My kids only go to their bedrooms to sleep as i'm not precious about our living room looking like a show home,it's invaded by all their stuff and 90% of the time the kids are home they're either in the living room,kitchen or garden. Theres lots of noise but i'd rather that than they separetly slope of to their rooms by themselves for hours on end sat playing on psp's.

I think you only get one life and loving and caring for children matter more in the long run than whether they had to share rooms or not,and money having being tight. A little bit of adversity often seems to make nicer people than those who never experience any and that goes for children too i think.
Years ago lots of large families grew up in small terraced houses and people just learnt to make do.
Id say if you're longing for another child you should probably go for it

Anyway i'd love a last baby (and i know the kids would too) just have to convince the husband now

Thanks for all the input. dd's room isn't big enough for me and dh - wouldn't get a double bed in! - but the baby would be in our rooom for a while anyway. And we do have plans to build our own house at some point. Whether we would be able to afford to with a fourth child...

We are not very well off anyway, but we would manage.

I do wonder if I would miss my freedom (ds2 at nursery now so have time to myself) also it is nice to do things as a family without dragging a baby along.

But another baby still seems like a good idea...