So stressed I feel ill - words of wisdom to get me through the day required

[OdyMandrell]

DC1 (4yrs) and DC2 (2yrs) endlessly demanding this toy out, that building, batteries in this, drinks, another toy out etc etc. DC3 (7m) mercifully still having a nap in cot. Dog bashing at the door to go out, come in etc etc. DH at work and will be until the kids are in bed. I am having fantasies about lying on the sofa with a cup of tea and watching a film. Feeling that I would rather be anywhere but here today and racked with guilt to feel that way because I know I am so lucky to have such beautiful, healthy children. Anyone feeling the same way? It feels very lonely sometimes doesn't it when DH feels hard done by for working 7 days but has absolutely no idea what being at home with them all involves?

I feel the same, dh is working (lucky him), dd2 keeps asking for food, dd1 asking to play the Wii and then gets fed up after 5 minutes, dog keeps dropping her toy behind the sofa so i have to keep getting up to move the sofa, the house is a mess (toys covering the floor which are not being played with). I did manage to pop out with dd's this morning to get a new Argos in hope they would spend hours looking through it (no chance).

Dh will be home late, tomorrow is his only day off and the step children will be here so i will have 4 extra to run around after (this includes dh who will be sat down all day recovering from work).

DH at home sat down is worse than DH at work isn't it They wonder why you're snippy with them. No idea. Thanks Marne.

I don't know, i would rather he wasnt here if he's not going to help out with his other children (what is the point in his dc's coming over to watch him sit on his ass).

Lol, i get fed up with the 'Well, i have been at work all day' and what do they think we do all day? sit on MN .

your 3 are very similar in ages to mine so I can completely understand, in the week ds1 is tired from pre school so I tend to put telly on whilst little 2 nap and then feel really guilty I'm not having 'quality' time with him. I think what dh forgets is that its a long shift, our day is at least 7-7 and I don't even get to pee in peace. I would love a daily commute in the morning to listen to the radio! Its even harder for you if your dh is working at the weekend too, I dread the weeks dh is away on business - and you're right they have no idea, well I think dh has some idea because he says he couldn't do it

You could be me! I have DCs 4, 2 and 9 months and undoubtably feel this way at times. It is such an unbelievable grind sometimes just to get through the day. I do sometimes envy DH going off to work.... although I'm grateful not to be working at the moment I do miss it sometimes and long to be out of the house, then I feel mean and guilty. Last week I had to leave the room and burst into tears (how utterly pathetic am I!!) for the most ridiculous thing - basically I had decided to try and cook something different from the usual repertoire for tea. The girls hated it (of course!) and were vociferous in their anger and outrage at being presented with something new. So the tears... it's hard to explain, it was a sort of fury at the fact that I'd spent 40 mins preparing something only for it to be a total waste of time and also an utter hopelessness at the thought that I should even CARE (I mean sod it), I suddenly got struck by how narrow my world had become - I used to have a serious professional career and travel the world in first class, and there I was reduced to caring about the fact that my children hated my cooking!! Luckily DH injected some humour into the situation and I perked up again. I know that my life is not pointless and futile, it just sometimes feels a bit like that!

Oh I completely agree! I've done the tea time thing you describe many a time (and the crying about it too!) I just think that situation encapsulates in a nutshell how utterly thankless the task is when you are sometimes reaching your limit trying to make everyone happy during the course of the day. I don't come across many other people with more than two DCs, with the quite close age gaps we have, do you?

I can completely relate to everything you have said. It's made me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.

I have 3DCs (3, 2 and 13 months) and one due in 2 weeks and feel swamped and overwhelmed a lot of the time with their constant demands.

I think it is the effort of getting out and doing thngs with 3 so young and not feeling like I have acheived much with my day but get through it.

I do think it will get easier though and they will hopefully play together more as they get older and then I will be able to enjoy my family a lot better.

Oh, and I too have cried over non-eaten, lovingly prepared teas.

Mine are more spread out in age (10, 7, 5, 17m and 3m) but I feel your pain!

For me it's a constant battle between what I KNOW is important (ie homework, clean bathroom and kitchen, clean and ironed clothes, healthy food and stimulation for the LO's) and what I feel I SHOULD be doing (ie clean and tidy WHOLE house, washing the car, cleaning out the buggy, cooking "proper" meals, taking the kids out more, having more friends over for tea and catching up with admin) and what I actually WANT to be doing which us drinking coffee, reading the paper, having a bath and going to the loo uninterupted.

Right now I have the balance SOOOOOOOO wrong that none of the latter ever seem to happen!

AAAAAAAAARGH!

Keep on reminding yourself that this too will pass.Mine are now 21, 18, 13 and 11 and the daily grind is virtually over.But I remember only too well the utter exhaustion, boredom and tiredness. And my spates of bad temper.

Interestingly they do not

Don't beat yourself up about meeting your own needs by having that cup of coffee or calling a truce with the housework.
Remind yourself that benign neglect allows children the space to think for themselves and TV allows them a bit of rest time too.

they love being in a larger than average family now and all say that having grown up aware that they may have to wait to have their 'needs met'or help clear up after tea
has made them better rounded people!

good luck

I'm not sure how to quote, but thank you iwastooearly - I really needed to hear that today as the plumber has woken the babies and the locksmith will no doubt do the same this afternoon (don't ask!!).

SG

Oh this is me over the back at the moment. I find it all very hard going, dull on times, repetitive, frustrating and very very exhausting. I have a 9 yr old that argues over every point, a 2.6 year old hell-raiser-screaming banshee and a 13 month old who can't help nutting his head off something all the time.... The two wee ones wake every night at some point and if it's notthem it's the DH snoring in my ear. My sleep is severely rationed and I feel under the weather most of the time.

Sometimes I long to go to work for a rest. Or to curl up in bed and to just not have to get up until I want.

I keep trying to tell myself it will get easier. In fact, all I really want is more sleep and energy to deal with the whole shooting match!

Woops! Just realised how old this thread is!
Oh well, I got to vent...