Your wit is required!!Smart answers needed please, i'm too tired to think of a good response...

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Hello, I have just had a horrible morning with my middle 2, ds1 is nearly 2, not very verbal and slap bang in the middle of the " lay down on the floor and scream" phase if things aren't going his way. dd2 is 4 and not very well, ds2 is 15 weeks and vomits copiously and randomly, so I thought I was actually doing really well this morning to drop dd1 at school at get to my appt with the bank on time.

dd2 and ds1 were not doing anything really naughty they were being a bit pesky and I was reigning their more excitable moments, I had taken some toys in to keep them amused, but the 10 minute appt dragged on for over an hour. So you can imagine they were getting fed up. ( so was I!)

I had 2 people say to me in a very negative way "oh dear you've got your hands full".

It happened both times today when ds1 was stropping because I wouldn't let him keep pushing the "open door" button. The other 2 children were happy and well behaved at that moment iykwim, so it was just one child having a momentary rah. Why do people feel the need to make the comment? Its the inferance that i've bitten off more than I can chew that irritates me (especially when I only have 3 out of 4 with me).

Anyone else feel like this? And whats your best reply?....

Somedays people just zero in on your stress and stick the dagger. The best response is just ignore with a quick comment such as "some days are like that". I have however resorted to a serious telling off if someone is particularly rude to the point of really being mean. They tend to back off really quick ie crazy woman is going to go off and I was the one who set her off. I just give them a look like, you got that right and when I do go off, I am comming for you!

I have said this to a mum I know who has 3 kids but meant it in a positive way ie. I admire how she deals with it so well.

I have 4 dd's from 8-14 months and get the hands full comment a lot and I don't equate it with a negative connotation, I just do literally have my hands full! Today even more so as I'm looking after 2 extra children from my street whilst their parents are all at work.

i started a thread about that phrase about 9 months ago after hearing it about 20 times in the space of one shopping trip.

what paticularily riled me up was that my kids were actually being very well behaved and not a bit of trouble (for once!) yet people kept feeling the need to point out 'oh dear, you've got your hands full'

erm, no i don't actually, baby in sling, ds in buggy and dd getting doors for me, in fact i don't have my hands full at all!

I just say Ah yes but it's great fun

I usually get complimented by people I don't really know but see regularly, like people on the school run. They usually say things like 'They are very well behaved'.

But.... I also get, quite frequently 'Are they all yours?' (I have 3, soon to be 4 - Shock horror!)

And the crappy hands full one.

How about people just don't comment at all? Esp. when the DCs ARE being 'good' (which seems to mean being virtually silent and relatively still)

Do people with one child get stupid, repetitive comments?

LadyoftheFlowers, yes they do. We're a one child family and you get the "When are you having another?" and "That's because she's an only" comments quite a lot.

But I too am as guilty as charged for making these comments, as you can see by my post earlier!

you could say

'yes ..I do wish I'd brought all their father's to help me today'

that should shut them up!

*fathers

I get this all the time too. I think the way in which it is said determines my reaction. If I feel that someone is having a dig my usual response is something like "oh well I love it and it keeps me out of mischief"
Interestingly I get most of these comments when I have my double buggy with me, when actually I have more free hands than when my 3 yr old is walking!

I hate the hands full expression too! If we're having a good day, it feels as if it puts me down, if we're having a bad day it makes me feel like a piece of poo! That said it is only people making conversation, I try not to take it personally but God, I will never say it myself! Once I did answer, "No, no, they're wonderful children, not a handful at all!" Hopefully the kids will hear this positive statement and live up to it!

sorry haven't read all the posts, but get the
"you've got your hands full!' all the time.

Had my 5 plus dd's friend, in town today and tried a new response.
Smile and say "rather full then empty".

I usually get the
"are they twins?" one straight after

So tempted to say no, I stole one

Mostly though I have to say, people are lovely.

I've had it said to me when out with just one very small sleeping baby in a sling and the dog. My hands were empty!

Hi I get this all the time, thinking about getting a t-shirt printed with "Oh you've got your hands full" As I have a just turned 4 yr old and two 8mth twins (all boys!!) I also get rude comments about "never mind, better luck next time, or you can always try again for a girl!!!
Best recent exchange in busy shop. One baby had been sick as we waited in the very long queue. Shop girl "That looks like hard work" me (Gritted teeth) "no I'm loving every minute of it" Shop girl "well you've got your hands full ... 3 boys, are you going to try next for your little girl... Me( laughs - no we are quite happy with this lot" Girl " Well you never know if you try again you might get a girl... Me (serenely!! - You know we just feel so blessed as they were born at 28wks and we feel so lucky they have pulled through) Very true, but part of me was trying to make her feel really bad for being so insensitive. Why do people feel they have to make such inappropriate comments based on their particular agenda/viewpoint. It drives me mad!!!