Calling all parents with 4 children!!!!!

[DanJARMouse]

Help me!

I am having "feelings" over a 4th DC. Currently have DD1 (5yrs 4mnths) DD2 (4yrs 1mnth) and DS (2 next week) and I am now umming and ahhhhing over a 4th.

DD1 still doesnt sleep properly so no need to worry too much about sleep deprivation, but the whole logistics of 4 kids is all a bit crazy non?!

How do you parents of 4 cope? What are your age gaps? Do you sometimes wish you hadnt had the 4th baby?

Oh lord, it is driving me mad. DH is more than up for it, he is kid mad, and has promised to get the snip after any 4th baby that may appear, but I just cant seem to bring myself to say yes!

The thought of my last labour is still so fresh - and im scared! The girls were sooo easy to birth, but Daniel, oh lord, what a nightmare!

HELP ME!!!

You are all too busy to answer me arent you!!!

Hi, i have 5 children.
The cooking and laundry are pretty full on but i love having my little gang and they very much love having each other.
My 3rd labour was horrendous but my 4th and 5th weren't bad at all ! I guess it's different each time.
My children are 12, 10, 8, 5 and 18 months.
I have 3 girls and 2 boys. My 4th was a little boy and though i was unsure when i fell pregnant a 4th time i am so pleased to have had him. He's a proper mummys boy and i love it lol. That said i love all my kids just as much ofcourse.
The early years i found a bit of a slog but now they're getting/growing up together i'm finding life a bit more civilized.
I would recommend just giving yourself time and see how you feel in 6 months or so,then think about it again then.
Whats right for some of us isn't for all ,good luck with deciding x

Hi, I have 4, aged 18, 16, 14 and 7 , and the downsides are going away anywhere is expensive and household costs are higher than for the average family but they love it and we love it1 Having a big age gap was a bit of a risk, but the teenagers are fab with dc4 and it's great having Father Christmas and the toothfairy still around . Not quite so great being the oldest mum in the class but heigh ho! My advice fwiw - unless you are over 40 I would let a bit more time go by.... IME a three year old is much harder to deal with a baby around than a five year old and as long as you are prepared to work at keeping them emotionally close the age gap isn't a problem.

i have four, all boys aged ten years, 7 years, 4 years and 19mths, it can be a little crazy and hectic at times, i always have laundry to do and i find i am constantly picking up and tidying etc, nothing stays tidy or clean for long BUT it is really good fun. a few weeks ago the eldest two went away and it was soooo quiet and i just didnt know what to do with myself.

i love having my little gang of boys, they all love each other, tho ds1 is entering the mmoody teen stage......

but we are thinking of having another one next year, so it cant be all that bad.

btw my third labour was one of the hardest, my fourth was a breeze, only in labour for an hour, had 10lb 13oz ds4 in a birth pool, with no tearing etc.

thanks both of you.

Im only 27 so loads of time ahead really but Im not sure about a huge age gap. This is already the biggest gap I have, as DD1 was 15mnths old when DD2 born, and DD2 was 2yrs 1 mnth when DS born.

I just dont know what to do! DH is doing that thing where he looks at me and I cant look him in the eye because he is just calling at me to have another baby!!!!

Cross your legs

I have 4. they are 16, 14, 12, 8.
It is hectic and if I get behind on housework or washing it is really hard to catch up.
I do sometimes feel overwhelmed. It sometimes seems like all their school/social events all happen at once.
I also often feel guilty. I am currently at college and feel bad if I am trying to get something finished and can't do stuff with them.
However I do love having 4. DC4's birth was a horrible experience though, that might have put me off having 4 if I'd had to go through it with an previous pregnancy.

I have 3 (ds1 7, ds2 5, dd 18 months), and dc4 is due in 5 weeks. I also have a dss, who is 8.

I can't wait

Dc3 and dc4 gap will be my closest - i had 3 1/2 years between dc2 and dc3 and its the best gap so far.

I think you may regret not having a fourth - when dc4 is here, you are never going to look into his/her face and regret that. go for it

I have 4 girls who are 8,4,2 and 14 months. DD4 was a happy surprise as there is only 13 months bewtween her and dd3 and tbh it has been the easiest so far.
I found the jump from 1-2 more difficult than any other.
I am 27 too and have decided to have a year off and then ttc number 5
Good luck with deciding

I have DD (RIP) who would be nearly 18, DS nearly 16, DS 6, DS nearly 2, nearly 20weeks pg with DC5.

The age gaps are all over the place. I am not sure what it would be like with 4 under 6. Lots of hard work I would imagine.

I have problems finding stuff that the big DS wants to do with the little DSs. I was knackered with my first two but dont feel like that anymore. I suppose I am used to it and dont notice anymore!

Its a good job I am 42 or I know I would convince myself to have a few more.

I am with 4andnotout - the jump from 1-2 was the biggest shock.

Do it

My 4th was a dream baby and fabulous birth. He really was my easiest baby.

All those that followed have been easier than that initial jump from 2-3 (had twins first)

I found the 2 and half year age gap the best.

I take it no-one is going to tell me I am insane to even be thinking about it?!

I just keep thinking of everyone who has 4 and loves it.....

Misdee, Lockets, Nemo, Sweetkitty is pg with her 4th, and a RL friend is pg with her 4th....... tis MAD!

I have 4 girls, almost 7, 5, 3 and 6 months. (4 mad boys, perhaps we can do a deal on a bulk wedding one day?!?!)

Life is hectic (I work 3 days a week too) but great fun and nothing makes me happier than seeing the older girls play with their baby sister.

Yes I feel hugely guilty that they've progressively had less of my attention - BUT I really believe that the benefits of their siblings has made up for that.

4th labour definitely the best - but she was the only one who wasn't OP - and given my 3rd was 10'4 (and I am quite petite)and I was told no 4 was big, perhaps it was just that it was easier than I expected!

4th DD is an angel. Amazingly has slept through the night (10-7)since she was 6 days old and since about 6 weeks has gone 7-7. None of my others ever did that so not sure why she's different.
She smiles all the time and is so contented, inquisitive and likes to watch all the activity around her but not at all clingy.

I'd love to have more but we had a bit of a scare during pg with no 4 - and I think I've pushed my luck enough with 4 healthy happy children.

4 is great. I just wish someone would set up a website to buy things for large families.... I get really fed up that options are only "pink or blue" when I buy stuff, I have 4 girls so pink, purple, red and turquoise or something would be MUCH appreciated.

Go for it. Yes it's hard with a lot of small children but benefits definitely outweigh the crazy moments when they all need you and you have no idea where to start!

I too am going to say go for it but had you asked me a few years ago my answer would have been to stop.
We had DD1 and DS1 3.5yrs between them and we were stopping (nicely balanced keep it even all that) Then I became PG when DS1 was 16mths with twins.
Now a few years on things are much easier DD1 11, DS1 almost 8 DD2 and DS2 soon to be 6.
Downsides as people have said are constant washing, holidays and needing a bigger car but they are great company and there is never a dull moment in the house.
Now they are all at school i mind other peoples DC. Ive been lucky that all of mine were slleping through the night by the time they were 8 weeks so I cant sympathize on the sleep deprivation side of things.
My hubby did have the snip when twins were 1 day old (timing) but I still have my broody moments. I just loved being PG. Cant coment on labours though all of mine hav been c-section, 1 emergency and the other two elective.
The key to any large household id organisation but chances are if you`ve got 3 they youre probably fairly organised anyway.
Only go for it if your sure its what you want to do.

Hi danjarmouse

I have 4 also, DS 16yrs from a previous relationship, DD1 11yrs, DD2 7yrs, DD3 6yrs. DD3 was a bit of a suprise as DD2 was only 5months old when found out i was expecting her.

It is very hectic and noisy (we don't live in a mansion)so we are literally all on top of each other all the time. It is a bit easier when ds is usually out or in his room, and dd1 has started to be allowed out for short periods.

The two small ones get on really well but it is hard to try and help everyone with homework reading etc, and keeping everyone clean and fed.

But the goods definately outway the bads, and as I am expecting no5 in 8weeks (a suprise) we must be doing something right. We women are all crazy anyway so go for it.

I find 4 easier than 3. My lot are 6, 4, 3 and 7 months.

I'd have a break, we have three aged 9,7 and 5 and number 4 on the way but i couldn't have coped nor wanted to with another close gap, am hoping the 6 years between will mean i appreciate rather than just survive this ones babyhood.

I have just found out we are expecting dc4, ours are dd1-6y9m, ds-3y9m and dd2-just 2 I have wondered how we will cope, but i keep being told the fourth will just slot in to family life!

Will be watching this thread

x

If you don't feel ready then I'd hold off for a while.

That was to the op

Congrats mumtoo3

hey DanJARMouse

I thought when I was pregnant with DD3 that was us, then she came along is an absolute joy and I think we both knew we wanted another, DP convinced me in all of 5 minutes. I wound down BFing so my periods came back and DD3 had her last feed the day before I found out I was pregnant with no4.

I'm 17 weeks and absolutely bricking it now, we need a new car, a 7 seater cannot park the one I have, an extension (!) don't ask as well as trying to cope with the school run etc with 4.

Oh as you know mine are similar ages to yours, next year when DB4 is born DD1 will be 5.10yo, DD2 4.4yo, DD3 1.10yo.

I am sure though the minute she (and it will be a she) is born we will all fall madly in love with her and everything will fall into place, although there is NO way there will be no5 DP getting marched to the docs.

I would say go for it only thing is if you leave it and DS is maybe 4 when DB4 was born you will feel you need another for company for DB4 as 1,2 and 3 are so close IYSWIM. I feel like that sometimes as DD1 and 2 are my big girls and DD3 and the new baby will be my baby girls.

i had my 5th this summer. they are 10, 8, 6, 4 and 3 months. personally i thought the toughest transition was from 2 to 3 children. hardly noticed impact from number 4 in terms of chaos of life. have never ever regretted having him. i do sometimes spend time with friends who have 2 and envy the tranquility of their life. i do usually feel like i have twice as much to do as i can manage and i rarely sit down before 9pm. but i think many mothers would say that. it's so lovely having lots and i keep fantasising about how many grandchildren i might have one day......

hiya JARM

well as you know i have 4, and its total bedlam but i love it. dd4 is my 'hardest' daughter to deal with, as she just screams A LOT. she has slept through the night a handful of times in her first year of life, and i am seriously sleep deprieved. but that didnt stop me looking in the big girls bedroom and thinking 'hmmm i could fit 2 lots of bunkbeds in here easily...'

i thought i was done at 3 kids. then had dd4. and thought that would be it. but the last few months i have been wanting another. no chance as dh is working for promotion at work, and AF hasnt restarted yet (was 16months after dd3, so not expecting it to appear for ages still).

I have 4. 11, 9, 3 and 15 months. I find homework time hard. My 9 yr old needs someone at her side. Apart form thats its great.