I only have three children and am struggling - how on earth do you do it?!

[QueenofAllWildThings]

My children are 5, 2 and 3mths - and I am seriously struggling... the house is a bombsite, I'm constantly exhausted, snappy and have no energy for anything but the bare minimum of cleaning/cooking/washing.

How do you get anything done??!!! I know a lot of it is that my youngest is not sleeping well at ALL, and is really hard to settle for naps so I spend a lot of my time trying to get him to nap so I can do some housework or do stuff with the older two...

Any tips would be great, as I feel like I'm sinking here...

Hi

I have 5 children 10, 5, 3, 2, 4 months, I barely get anything done either, I just had to accept the fact that you can only do what you can and things will get easier as they get older. As long as my kitchen/bathroom are clean everything else can wait. Enjoy your children they grow so fast don't worry if you can't get the housework done it only gets messy again 5 mins after you finished. My youngest doesn't sleep well either, you just have to tell yourself it won't last forever eventually baby will settle into a routine giving you more time for other things.

FIVE! Wow, you're a braver woman than I Everyone keeps saying don't worry about the housework (and I am in no way a neat-freak or anything), but it is just awful... I feel so embarrassed when people call unexpectedly, plus I find it depressing sitting amongst all the mess. My youngest is one of those that's not keen on being put down, so if he's awake I get 5 or at most 10 minutes to do anything... i feel like I can't give the older ones much attention as he's so demanding!
Thanks for your input

I've only got the three but with similar age gaps to you.

I found life got so much easier when my youngest was about 6 months and started sitting up and being more entertained with what was going on.

It also got easier again when she hit about 18 months, she's now just one of the gang and they all play together.

The older two have both got easier too.

So what I'm saying is - it gets easier. You are properly in the thick of it at the moment. I look back at that time as dark days!

I have 4 and my youngest is 8 and it is SO much easier now as they can all do little jobs like washing up and I can pop out for a short time without having to drag them all along.
It does get easier but as Jade says enjoy it as they grow up really quickly.

hi my three are 5,4 and 2, and like everyone else has said it does get easier.

I was really lucky when youngest was born as my partner was at home for the first couple of months but the tiredness does get to you.

My only piece of wisdom was uttered by my partner after yet another broken night- every day is a day closer to when they sleep that bit better. And he was right! I laughed at the time as it seemed like it would never happen but it was true, he did in the end.

As for housework try to get the big two to help with dusting, something not too big. it probably wont be perfect but they will think its fun, and you will have one less job to worry about!

I have a cleaner (guilt, guilt).

Now have a cleaner which means the main areas in the house are cleaned twice a week. The other aspect is organisation - keeping things in the same place & keeping track of what's happening at school. It's hard work sometimes & people with one or two kids sometimes don't understand that I have a lot happening.

ive got 8 kids (3 step and 5 birth) ... its absolutly bedlam at times , but the older ones help a little (dishes,dusting). the ages are 17 , 15, 14, 11, 9, 7 and the twins are four. It was much harder when they were younger .... now most of them are at school its ok. house can still get a bit trashed disorganised now and again.... but thats down to the dd4 (sn).
What we insist on is that the kids keep their rooms tidy(sort of), and put away their own clothes after the laundry is done...they earn extra pocket money by doing little jobs.
dishes = £1
dusting= £0.50
hoovering £1
puting away own clothes £0.50
putting away someone elses clothes £0.50
babysitting (oldest only) £5 an hour.
putting rubbish out £1
The only other thing i can add is get those giant toy boxes that are on wheels.... they are fab! i have two that get wheeled behing the sofa's in sitting room ,the little kids have toys everywhere and its so easy to chuck them into a box and shove it out of view .

Thanks so much for all your advice... it's a huge help. I've already stopped ironing, and purged through all our clothes and toys so it's easier to put stuff away. Also have started being a bit more assertive with DH about helping with housework! And preparing school stuff the night before (and all kids' and my clothes) really makes life easier.

I think I'm starting to realise that I am totally in the thick of it at the moment and not to assume it will always be like this. Even now it is easier than a month ago... just some sleep would help!

actually dont listen to me ; DC are evil today and hy house is a bomb site .
anyone know a good team of cleaners cleaner?

We have 5 kids 13,11,6 and twins at 21 mths !
The elder 3 all havae their own rotas for their own jobs highlighted on each day they are due to be done. Each childs rota has also has showers,gym,dancing and swimming lessons on them. The jobs they do include emtpy/load the dishwasher,same for tumble dryer,putting away their own clothes,sorting the undies basket,stripping their own beds/tidy.hoover their bedrooms and emptying bins throughout the house! They earn late nights and extra dvd time etc and whatever little treats are affordable at any given time

The rest of the housework is on another rota with shopping,freezer shopping,beds changed and turned,ironing,washing,sweeping and washing floors,cleaning toilets and wetroom. Just this week i have started going through the freezers to see exactly whats there and meal planned for this half term week,the first time ive ever tried it and must say it works great and i get such a buzz from actually having some organisation lol!!

i have 4 kids 17,10,6.18 months and am completely defeated, i just get one round of dishes done and it all starts again, I put a toy away and its hauled back out, on top of that the floors are filthy as everyone trails in and out of the garden, i don't iron and during school holidays rarely go out as it seems to take so long to get everyone organised, yet I manage on school days to have everyone out for nine, chaos of family life, my advice, whatever can be left till tomorrow leave till tomorrow

I have 4 dc 9,8,3 and almost 2 and am also expecting twins due in feb.

As long as the kids are happy and well looked after the rest happens when it happens at the moment. I can live with mess and clutter

Queen, I could have written your post a couple of years ago. Mine are now 7, 5 and nearly 3. It is much more manageable now. And you will start to find it gets easier soon as your youngest will not need to spend so long feeding each day which frees you up. And hopefully you will start getting some sleep.

I was told a time management tip once which really helps: if you have a spare 5 minutes, do a 5 minute job, eg empty dishwasher. Don't start a 10 minute job because a) it won't get finished, then b) you'll feel a failure.

I found I got loads more done during the day by using the small snatches of time to do small complete jobs.

Queen, be kind to yourself, your baby is still so young. I have 5 kids, but the eldest is almost never here (18) and the others are 16,12,9 and 1. It does help having older kids to help with the youngest.
One thing I have learnt over the years is to have the mantra "this too shall pass"...it always does! Also, when my youngest was a baby, and quite fussy, to maintain my sanity I tried to keep one little area tidy - where I sat to breastfeed- so that I didn't have to look at the mess. It really did help.I also try to get into the shower and dressed before my DH leaves for work, otherwise it might not happen!I use the slow cooker for meals so that the arsnic hour isn't quite so bad.I get the kids to sort the laundry. We also have a chore rota, but I know you can't do that yet, tough your 5 year old can help with "fetching and carrying".
I hope things improve, and remember to take care of yourself.

that should read "though your 5 year..." not "tough" !

I tell myself and others that it's environmentally more friendly to lower standards reduce the amount of laundry, washing and cleaning chemicals. Ditto ironing . Not so sure about throwing floor / baby wipes down the toilet though, they cause havoc with marine wildlife and block up sewage outlets. Otherwise my top tip is in sock identification: everyone has a whole pack of 10 identical pairs of socks which are unique to them. arrrrggghhh, must stop hiding on laptop (this can feel like a solution but is very short term!)...

I have similar, 5, nearly 3 and 2 month old. It is tough. We have one of thesein the hall for shoes, hats, umbrellas etc. etc. and everyone has their own coloured drawer. I try to train the older 2 to put their shoes etc. away when they come in. It happens sometimes...

honest answer: I work 3 days a week in a job I love, which allows me to afford gold-plated childcare and housework, and very occasionally, to 'do lunch' !!!. Love the kids to bits, but I need some space mentally and physically, don't think I could manage otherwise with my 5 (oldest 9, aspergers, youngest are 9 month old twins).

just checked in to find more helpful tips and more mums struggling (which strangely makes me feel better - misery loves company I suppose!). Now must go and see what DS & DD are up to in the hall as it's gone very quiet...

Hi
I have a 5 year old, 2 year old and 8 month old. I get by using routines for pretty much everything. The main ones that the kids need to know like evening routine and morning routine (to get everyone out of the house!) are up on the wall in picture form!

we also stole an idea from my daughters school for discipline. we use traffic lights, everyones picture is up on the wall in the green light, one warning for bad behaviour and the picture is moved to the organce light. After the second warning the picture is on the red light and the child goes to time out!.

I am obsessive about planning the next day - I write a plan of the next day before I go to bedm what I need to do BUT in terms of tidying etc it is only the bar minumum. Parts of my house look as though a tornado has been through there!

I dont think that those things are all that important so dont worry too much.

OP don't worry about the house or getting anything "done". It's impossible with kids your dc's ages. And ignore any hypercritical twits who slag you off about the state of the house.

My kids are 9,7, and 4 now. It's all so much easier. My house used to look like a tornado went through. I wish I spent less time worrying about the mess and coping and more time just having fun with my little babies.

I'm just a few months on down the line from you (mine are 4.9, 2.9 and 7 months. For what it's worth I'd say I was at my lowest point when DS was about 3 months old, lack of sleep being the main problem I suppose. I was just so exhausted the whole time that I found it almost impossible to function. Things are fine now though - still pretty knackered most of the time but I no longer feel like I'm sinking and am really beginning to enjoy the way my life is now. Hugely helped by DS's sleep improving of course. Really and truly it will get better soon.

All I can say in the mean time is accept the inevitable that you have to let stuff slide, you can't do it all but the mess and disorder won't last forever, you'll get back on top of it all in due course.

I did (and still do) find a sling invaluable. With DS in the sling I can get a fair amount of things done e.g. these days DS tends to get pretty grumpy later in the afternoons so I'll often have him in a hip sling while I'm preparing tea for the older 2 - it saves having to listen to him howling if I put him down as he likes being close to me and watching what I am doing. Loading and unloading the washing machine and hanging stuff up can all be done with the baby in a sling too as can a certain amount of clearing up and tidying etc.