Do you struggle to give each child the time and attention that they need?

[catnipkitty]

Me again with more thoughts on having a 4th ... one of my worries is having enough time to give to each child, especially when I'm tired, sleep-deprived etc and as far as helping the older ones with school work etc.

Any thoughts and experiences gratefully received!

Until very recently it was a doddle with my 4 (10, 8, 5, 2). I am a SAHM so they all had my undivided attention until they started nursery (arrround 3 1/2 yo).

Now they no longer are satisfied with us having a family outing on We on holidays and all want "a piece of us" usually simultaniously but for different things.

For homework It is a bit easier though as they all sit in different places in the house (the 3 who have Homework) and I just go from one to the other to seee if they need any help.

It is really more of a sruggle for the free time though. as Gardening mum, I enjoy when they have friends arround as they are occupied and it gives me a bit of time with the "friendless ones"!

definately gorionine.. the older 2 having friends round helps. they are stimulated and 2 be honest the younger 2 love it, they try and hang out with the older kids.
i try and make sure the older 2 get time away from the babies as think they must get fed up with them, but to be honest they have never shown this.
at the moment we are in the garden having fun, and i am pottering with them

My friend and I,(she also a mum of 5, and a single mum to boot) share our kids sometimes,

ie, i'll have all hers at mine while she goes for a nice lunch with a different friend, or recently, when she went to see a tv show being filmed. She has all mine (5) when I have to go to work, (i'm a Doula)or into london with one of the others, (they model).

or she'll take one of hers for quality time into town for a milkshake or something, and i'll have the others. You really wouldn't know you had 10 kids in the house.

Also, now my eldest is 14, i can pay her to have the 4 and 5 yr old for a couple hours while i go to tesco or something.

vaguely how sad... i hope you are ok

I would say that (having had a crap hand dealt myself from the deck of parents!) i am a wee bit MORE aware of being crap as i have loads of children

i try extra hard to be sure their emotional needs are met...

on some levels i am NOT what other parents are ( not good taxi service - do not attend everything each child is IN etc) but i do try to ensure emotionally i am there

re homework etc i try to teach them to be self reliant but my dd etc is far more demanding due to laziness etc

i do believe what they lose from me and dp they gain from each other.. they are only at home until 18 and they have each other till old age (hopefully)

Ladies, if it's any consolation, I grew up in a family far larger than any of yours. Being one of many taught us:
independence
self reliance
social skills
How to change a nappy (I was a dab hand at that by age 7)
exactly what is involved in raising small children, which is why none of us had children before our thirties, and have all coped well with 4am feedings.
That we are not the centre of the universe
How to get along with people you don't necessarily like, while living in close quarters.

It made us valued employees, valued flatmates and pretty adventurous. There are compensations to an upbringing of benign neglect

you sound fab slug!! will tell my dcs!!

wow wow wow

i have 4 dc and find it incredibly hard work meeting all of the childrens needs, running a house, and working (poor dh sometimes gets neglected) especially as they grow older

IME and IMO it is much easier to do this when they are all younger but once they all grow up it becomes much more demanding and much more challenging.

Have any other parents found this????

Well I dont know how you all do it. I have 4. (nearly 7, 4and a half and twins of 18 months) and I am a single working parent with no help. I find it really hard trying to give them all attention tbh. Especially the twins as they never seem to get one to one time as they always together obviously. Any tips for me ?