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Larger families

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Original poster

My god.... why does every person i meet feel the need to say 'You've got your hands full'?!

44 replies

PinkTulips · 02/04/2009 15:18

i only have three for flips sake!

and one is a newborn!

so far today have had these comments;
'you've got your hands full'
'quite a handful'
'you're being kept busy'
'wow you've got lots of little people' (that guy might have been stoned )

i had ds2 in a sling and he was fast asleep and dd and ds1 were being good as gold, it's not like they were tearing around causing chaos. so why on earth does everyone feel the need to comment?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 06/04/2009 13:13

I have two 3 year olds and a nearly 2 year old and get these comments al the time they just make me laugh. I find them quite sweet.

I wonder what the hell my Mum used to have said o her when she wandered down the road with all 7 of her kids

ScottishMummy · 06/04/2009 13:36

don't be so precious about an innocuous comment.yes it must irk after the millionith time but is just small talk

if people said Christ i hope my taxes aren't paying for that lot or something equally offensive yes get the hump

otherwise - no biggie

angelene · 06/04/2009 13:52

Well I was having lunch with DD in M&S on Friday and the elderly couple next to us were chattering away to us and asked me 'is she your only one', when I said yes, then they said 'ah, spoilt then'.

You can't win!!

KTNoo · 08/04/2009 23:25

I would have been a bit offended by that angelene! I would have been thinking they should mind their own business and not comment when they don't know you or your child.

To the OP - an old lady once looked into my double buggy when ds was a few weeks and dd almost 2. They were being uncharacteristically quiet and good and she said "What a lovely family, but what a lot of work they are!" I thought it was a nice thing to say - makes a change from people giving disapproving looks when they are being wild nowadays. I felt she was acknowledging that just because they were being cute and easy in that moment, they were not always like that!

MarsLady · 08/04/2009 23:59

The simple answer is "better full than empty!"

Original poster

PinkTulips · 09/04/2009 11:42

ooooh mars... would be just my luck to say that to some poor woman who can't have kids and end up punched in the face!

OP posts:

cikecaka · 09/04/2009 11:52

I had 3 under 3, they are now nearly 13, 11 and 10 and now I do realise I had my hands full, its only now when I look at others in the same situation as me that it hits home. Didnt feel like it at the time though

ellingwoman · 09/04/2009 12:03

Going by certain threads lately I'm surprised that anyone says anything to mums with young children any more. It seems that passing the time of day is not what you lot want

Original poster

PinkTulips · 09/04/2009 12:04

lol cikecaka.... i guess i do in some ways but when i'm happily trundling around the shops with my little posse i like to fool myself into thinking i'm coping marvelously and comments from people makes me wonder am i that woman who childless people are thinking 'ffs, does she have to take all of them to the supermarket' of.

now if someone had commented yesterday when ds1 set off the alarms in the supermarket that i had my hands full they might have had a point

OP posts:

Ceolas · 09/04/2009 14:18

It does annoy me slightly, along with "How on earth do you cope?"

But I get lots of "What a lovely family" comments too.

kittywise · 09/04/2009 14:31

Those comments don't bother me, I have 6 and it happens to be true!!

What really really pisses me off is when people ask if I'm going to have another. I say "yes, I'd love to but we're broke' and the response is always "you're mad".
How f**king rude. Now I just say " No I'm not, it's lovely"

What I want to say is something along these lines " So you obviously think that 7 would be too many. What are your feelings on say, 4, 5, or 6 children? Which number is alright for you? At which point would you consider one of my younger children here as surpluss to requirements? Which one would you have me put back? You miserable tosser"

Original poster

PinkTulips · 09/04/2009 14:40

ceolas.... yep, have had 'how do you cope?' too they're kids not a disease fgs

kittywise.... i'd imagine with the type of person rude enough to say that to you the perfect numberof children is obviously exactly how many children they have

OP posts:

gardeningmum05 · 09/04/2009 14:47

i have 4, 2 under 3 and get it all the time
i really piss myself when they say something original like, blimey havent you got a television....not

take it as a compliment. think to yourself, yes i do have my hands full and i am coping really well thankyou
i can take my 4 out and know they wont show me up, and see others with one taking crap from their kid.

Guadalupe · 09/04/2009 14:50

I was coming down the stairs at the dentist with my three and a man was waiting to come up and he snarled 'you must like kids' and pushed past.

I was so surprised I couldn't think what to say but then I thought maybe he had really bad toothache.

Original poster

PinkTulips · 09/04/2009 14:57

that just made me lol guadalupe..... not good with a mouthful of coffee >

OP posts:

piximon · 09/04/2009 18:59

Oh Mars you didn't read my post. I said that to someone who snapped back "what a nasty thing to say". you know me, I hate upsetting people.

I did once have an old lady say it and just nodded at her. She then walked quicker to catch me up (we were going snail pace) and taped me on the shoulder "I said YOU'VE got your hands full" yes I replied, aren't I lucky? "Well are they all yours? she asked" well I share them with my husband. "oh of course" at which point we sprinted across the road.

When I moved into this village I used to have people shout it across the road at me. I think they might finally be getting used to the sight of us so hoping I don't have to move again.

MarsLady · 10/04/2009 02:09

I didn't Pixi. I just posted my response to the title. You couldn't upset a fly my lovely!

3boys4girls · 14/04/2009 11:44

LOL at sorkeycakey!!

I think the hands full comments can be taken either way, if one of the kids is acting up at the time then I feel theres a slight implication that I cant cope, but if they're being lovely (they usually are) then I pressume like Estar says that they're complimenting me on handling such a brood, on those occasions I reply "they make it easy for me" which they do, most of the time, and if it happens at a time when one or more is being monstrous then I simply shrug and say "got to take the highs with the lows".

anne1406 · 15/04/2009 17:06

i have 4 girls a 4 year old a 2 year old and 8 week old twins and i always get you have your hands full i think yes but i have 4 gorgeous kids there great kids and its hard but i love it and i would consider more although let the twins get to a a few years old, i love big families i have 3 bros and a sister and love being that way i praise people who can manage 3 kids or more and give the gift of life

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