Would You Have No5 Because DH Wants To?

[hedwig06]

My DH has been asking for a few weeks if we can ttc#5.
I am, to be honest quite happy with 4, although when I think about it I do get a funny feeling in my tummy
My youngest DS is 2.2 years old and quite a handful!!
But I try to put myself in his shoes and is it right to not have another LO when my DH would dearly love one?

I also have 4 and to avoid this problem i got my tubes tied when no 4 was 6 months. It was a bit drastic but 4 is more than enough for any woman to cope with and its ok for DH to want more but in reality it would be you with the extra work. My DH would love more and regularly thinks up names etc. but it soon passes usually at mealtimes or on long cars journeys!

Thanks Ihg32

I have suggested he goes for the snip!!! as I think I've done my fair share - but that didn't go down too well

Even if my Dh wanted no.5, I wouldn't because 4 is def enough for me and I simply couldn't go through a pg again.

No. Not unless I wanted it.

Your DH is a bit greedy . He doesn't have to go through the pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding palaver...

You don't want an odd number trust me

Thanks for all your responses - its pretty much as I thought - I'm mad for thinking of it!!

Its just you always here of the otherway round and how hard it is if the partner says no.

Oh well ........ more thinking I think.

we are ttc #5 it was my dh that wanted it more then me in the beginning but must admit that I am really excited about the whole idea now. (just need to get pg now)

i am pregnant with number 4 and dh said the other day we should have more after this one. There is no way on this earth. I am going to get sterilised, dh will never go and four is more than enough.

Well, who goes through 9 months of pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, getting up in the night, childcare..........?

When my husband and i were deciding whether to go for number 3 or not (we did!) he quite rightly said the decision should mainly be the womans as she does all/most of the work!

Sorrento, what's the problem with an odd number?! Am planning on sticking with three unless we win the lottery!

Hi Sunshineday,

I think thats what I would be like, its taking the step of saying lets go for it, I know my family will not be that supportive, my sister has taken the decision to not have any kids, I am only one of 2, so there no big families to be honest and they all think we are mad with 4 let alone if we have another, also when do you feel "done", if we have no5, will it be enought?

Oh well, back to thinking......

Thanks everyone for your input.

hedwig to be honest I don't think my family will be that supportive of the decision we have made so I will not be telling anyone till I am about 15 wks and then they will have to just accept it. ( I still have to get pg first lol), as for will there be anymore after this one? probably not but never say never!

Thanks Sunshineday, I'm glad someone else is in this boat,

Good luck in conceiving!

We are going to go for it,

good luck hedwig

Hedwig I wish you well, we are ttc#6 at the moment.

We had big issues towards the back of last year, we had been ttc then dh decided he did't want to carry on, no more children. To say i was devastated is the understatement of the year, had an early loss at xmas, (after he told me he'd changed his mind).

we talked and talked, i cried alot, i pleaded for him to just think about it and a month ago he got our 5yr old ds to hand me a bottle of gaviscon in boots and say

"daddy says you'll need this in a few months"

What i'm trying o say is that dh clearly understood how much it meant to me, I don't know why but i can't explain my desire, just that it's overwhelming. My dh took all this into consideration and we're having one last child. He's very happy with his decision, it's not just for my sake.

I know it's the right choice for us, noone in our family will regret it and I truly believe you have too. If it was that important to your dh then it should matter to you too, which it clearly does. (have you joined us on Dec bus or January,? which i think i'll be getting on in next few days, )

Large families are fab, yes we have days when we'd like to lock ourselves in the shed, but don't parents of 2 children feel like that sometimes too.

Hope it happens quickly for you, and good luck. x

Liahgen - what a lovely story

I have been lurking for a few months reading all the messages on this board, I think I remember reading your story.
I'm so glad things have worked out for you, and you are now ttc.
I did wonder if people would think I was mad, to be thinking of ttc because it was DH's idea, but I really think that his desires are just as important as mine.

As to the TTC bus, I really don't understand all the info people are putting!!!,

Good luck to you and I hope you don't have to join the Jan bus!

PS - I'm about 5 days late for my AF, so you never know

Oh my word Hedwig, maybe mother nature has already made the decision for you. I hope so.

It's confusing, all the jargon on the ttc threads, and tbh i'm not as active on there as some, don't have the time really, don't know why but it's nice to know you're not alone when things get on top of you.

You probably did read my threads, I was a bit vocal on here about my displeasure. (well if you can't rant on mumsnet where can you eh? )

When we announced pg #5 we had lots of negative reactions, ranging from us being selfish to the old "haven't you got a telly?" I just ignore them and so does dh. We are happy, our children are all very much wanted, loved and we have time and finances for them all so as far as i'm concerned, we're doing something right.

Let us know how you get on. x

Just to let everyone know I gave in and took a test - and its Positive,

So we are having no5!!!!

I have told my mum and she wasn't that pleased,

But....I was expecting it....it did upset me a bit that she wasn't a bit more supportive but we can't have everything can we!

Now roll on the sickness I suffer from Hyperemisis.

Thanks everyone for your views.

hedwig, may i be the first to offer my congratulations. This baby was obviously meant to be.

Ignore all negative comments, my dad always pulls a face when he finds out we're having another, hey ho, he lives 300 miles away he can pull whatever face he likes.

5 is a fantastic number, (says she trying for #6!!)

I'm really pleased for you.

shame we won't be bump buddies, af got me saturday, January is my month, dh is on a mission now, lol.

Take care, hyperemesis is a bummer. x

Congratulations, really glad you're pleased about it.

If a woman posts on here saying she wants no5 (or in general baby +1) and DH doesn't the general feeling is almost always that he should let her because men don't understand a woman's physical need for a baby. So is it unusual for your DH to have liked the idea of another one more than you did?

Thanks liahgen & Trillian

Sorry that af got you liahgen, but I will follow the threads to see how your are going - good luck for January.

To be honest I'm quite excited now about the baby, I think it was more the sickness part - whether I had the strength to go through it all again - but I've got to now so I had better get ready!
Its my excuse to eat what I want for bit before the Hyperemisis gets me,

Thanks again for your support.

Hi hedwig06 congratulations really pleased for you both.

I wish I could join you but AF got me to day

sorrento

i have three....6.5 yr gap then 3

should go for number 7 to make the last 4 a 4 iykwim!!

Thanks for your messages of support.

Bad luck on af sunshineday. You need to spend the next month in bed............ but no sleeping, .

SuziSeis definately go for #7 if you have the energy though,

oh i do!!

Congratulations Hedwig
Fantastic news!