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What backup do you suggest when mummy has none?
6

MoshiMoshi · 04/03/2009 08:59

Since being lucky enough to give up work a year ago I have been enjoying looking after my three kids and playing house-wife and full-time mum. With number 4 arriving soon, it occurred to me that I probably ought to have some sort of line of defence/backup in place in case I cannot do everything at some point. In particular, as DC1 is at school and DC2 starts school in September. We do not have home help and I am not keen on paying for help or relying on paid help, so what would you suggest as a safety backup, eg when baby is ill or I am ill? So far, neighbours/local school mums have proved my best allies but I wondered what other alternatives there were.

Many thanks for any responses!

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paranoidmother · 04/03/2009 10:08

Hi

Just wondered whether it would be worth speaking to your local HV in case she has any other people in similar situations and can put you in touch with them to discuss mutual help.

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juuule · 04/03/2009 12:21

We normally worked it between ourselves.

If I was too ill to look after the children then dh had to take a day off (very rare I was that ill usually just plodded on).

Sometimes asked other school mums would take the children to school if one of the children was to ill to take out of the house. But again I usually would wrap them up warm and take them with me either in pushchair or walking slowly.

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Astarte · 04/03/2009 13:29

If I were ill, which incidentally is not allowed to happen in our house, then Dh would have to stay at home/work from home. But I'm not ill
My parents or MIL would step in if needed, but I'd have to be at death's door to ask them that's just the way I am.

If the LO's are ill you either make it to school or you don't. It's no biggie for them to miss the odd day.

You'll cope fine I'm sure Congratulations!

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MoshiMoshi · 04/03/2009 17:33

Thanks for the responses. I think the best approach is to find allies in mums with the same issues, ie. multiple kids and no home help/family nearby to help out.

DH helping out is not really an option as he travels with work most weeks. When I have been ill this pregnancy, I have found school friend mums have been invaluable in helping out with school runs so I guess that is the way it will most likely continue.

I agree it is rare you are so ill you cannot function although I have managed to contract two bouts of proper full blown flu this winter so it is rare but not impossible!

Muddle on...

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thefabfour · 04/03/2009 20:46

We moved our eldest DC so that all could go to the same school( DCs 6ys, 5 yrs, 3yrs and 2yrs) as it has v flexible wrap around care from 2ys. Whilst i haven't taken full advantage of it as yet, Its a huge relief to know that care is available should i be unwell.

I know you don't want to pay for childcare as such but have you considered finding childcare/ childminders who would be able to take a child on a flexible basis. I know some childminders in my area who do this?? If you are feeling really grotty it could be a godsend!

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MoshiMoshi · 04/03/2009 22:29

Hello thefabfour - well, my sort of master plan is working so far in that the two schools I have to work with come September are both within a 1.5 mile radius so I can run between them without having to worry about sitting in traffic. Also, both have after school late clubs which can give me more flexibility. I suppose I was thinking more in terms of the more hands on looking after side of things nearer the homestead. And I am sort of covered here in that I kept the relationship going with the nursery where my children attended when I worked, so that my two youngest attend just once a week now but as it is literally 3 minutes around the corner from my house it is very handy as they have said I can use them on more days and they will invoice me separately. So if I needed to drop the kids in, I could (assuming the staff ratios could accommodate such a last minute request). I haven't taken advantage of this yet as, having recently stopped working, I am really mindful of the cost of childcare and what we are saving in me doing everything now. But perhaps I will have to be a bit more open minded about it when the baby arrives in the event I am unwell for example. The only issue is if a child is too unwell to pop into childcare then.

Lots of boxing and coxing I reckon but it should be fine!

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