I tried Flylady (I even bought the book )and found alot of the hints are really useful, even if you don't follow the whole routine to the letter.
I go through phases. Sometimes when I'm on top of things I enjoy the housework and keeping things tidy seems quite easy. But as soon as I let things slip, even a little, it all gets too much very quickly. Then I find I can't seem to catch up!
Have you got a good friend or family member who would come and give you a hand for a few hours, just to catch up? Once you're on top of things again it will all seem more managable.
One thing I now do is this; I have a folding crate for each child, which gets filled with clean washing. I also put in any toys/books etc. I pick up from around the house. The older DC's are responsible for emptying their crates and returning them each day. I empty the smaller DC's crates when I put them to bed.
This only works if you religiously empty the crates every night, and make sure the older DC's empty their crates too, otherwise you'll just end up with crates scattered all over the place filled with clean and dirty clothes - which is no help at all.
I don't have a routine as such as what needs doing changes on a daily basis. I just muddle along and hope for the best. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't