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Original poster

So, if you have four children and a three bedroom house, how do you all fit in?

52 replies

msuings · 03/02/2009 20:50

If we did go for four we would have a 10yr old dd, 8 yr old ds, and a 3 yr old dd and a baby.

We have three bedrooms. The dds share the biggest one (not ideal anyway with big age gap) and ds has his own room. If we did have another baby where on earth would we put it?

Just interested to see what others do.

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piximon · 04/02/2009 18:57

We rent a 4 bed.

There's dh & I in one room with ds3 (10mths)

DS1 (6) and DD1 (4) in the largest room

DTs (b/g 2yrs) sharing the smallest room

My mum lives with us and has the other bedroom.

I'm waiting for the dts to get a bit more able to defend themselves bigger then will have boy/girl rooms.

piximon · 04/02/2009 19:03

oops forgot to add, our last rental was 3 bed and we were more or less the same but my mum was on the sofa bed in the living room.

juuule · 04/02/2009 20:16

We didn't find our children room sharing a problem while they are/were small. But it has presented a few 'challenges' once they get to 13 or older when they really could do with more space.

Swedes also makes a very good point about considering personalities when deciding who shares with who. Of course, that gets a bit complicated once they get older the ones with similar personalities are different gender.

Of course, you have to make the best of what you've got but it's always worth trying to think of ways to give them their own space.

juuule · 04/02/2009 20:19

msuings - I'd keep the baby in with you.
10yo own room and 8yo and 3yo sharing for the time being and look at it again in 12m.

juuule · 04/02/2009 20:23

Or keep things as they are for now if everyone is happy with the situation. But still keep the baby in your room for first 12m.

BonsoirAnna · 04/02/2009 20:26

Here in Paris lots of children share bedrooms, for the simple reason that apartments that were built pre-1950 rarely had more than three bedrooms however large the apartment - one for parents, one for boys, one for girls. Often the rooms are very spacious, however.

Pre-WW1 and 19th century apartments are even more inconvenient than interwar apartments as they often only had two bedrooms, one for parents and babies and the other for all other children - because heating was so difficult, everyone slept together. And of course, pre-WW1 apartments were built without bathrooms so these have now been squeezed into tiny spaces or slices of bedrooms have been converted into (small, cramped) bath or shower rooms.

Doubling up (or even tripling up) is pretty common here. I don't think it matters providing there are enough square metres per child to have "personal space".

And I am talking of "luxury" apartments (with parquet floors, lots of mouldings and cornices, marble fireplaces and maid's bedrooms)

catMandu · 04/02/2009 20:36

My ds and dd share and get along much better than when my two dd's were sharing. It might have to change at some point, but I hope we'll have moved to something bigger by then.

Swedes · 04/02/2009 20:42

Anna - Space was not a problem - we had very large rooms. It was the lack of control over your room that was so unbearable. Although we all laugh about it now. I think a room of your own over which you have some creative control and privacy (from everyone in the family should you want it) is really important.

Nemoandthefishes · 04/02/2009 20:46

I have a ds and 2 dds with another dd on the way, The dds have a triple bunk bed[double on the bottom]. If we had been having another Ds then we would have put bunk beds in Ds'room which is the box bedroom but we would have kept his chest of draws in our room. We had a conservatory built before christmas which is essentially a playroom and our long term plan it to convert the loft into a ensuite bedroom for us. Obviously our DC are all young[5,3 and 2] so space not such an issue at the moment

BonsoirAnna · 04/02/2009 20:53

Swedes - I think it is much nicer for children to have their own rooms where possible . But it isn't a disaster if you don't.

I have a friend with four children who lives in 420 m in the 7th arrondissement (eg very very chic and very very rich) and her two youngest have to share, albeit a massive room...

Swedes · 04/02/2009 21:33

Anna - I'm probably not the most sensible person to ask about room sharing. I freely admit it. We were four daughters all born within about 18 months of one another and although it was great fun a lot of the time it was also super-competitive all of the time and soul destroying a lot of the time. Growing up is all about discovering who you are -- very difficult whilst competing and or defending yourself and. Not having a space away from all that was very difficult. I should shut up now.

notmyfault · 05/02/2009 23:03

We have six,soon to be seven and we live in a three bed terrace.We have 2 girls 6&8 in a small room with bunks.We have 2 boys 9&4 ,plus girl age 2 in second room.We share the third room with baby 10 months.Baby 7 arrives in 14 weeks time.Yikes,best get my thinking cap on!
Sharings good,not only does it improve their social skills,but they actually did studies that show it boosts the immune system,can see how every time they share the latest bug.
If you want more babies have more babies worry about where you'll put them all later.

bronze · 07/02/2009 12:26

We have a three bed and am pg with dc4

at the moment ds1 and ds2 share a room and dd has a tiny room.

To start with ds3 will share with us then we'll move him into the tiny room and put dd in with the boys. this is so that the baby doesnt have to share and wake people up. They're all still young enough for this.

When ds3 is a bit older we'll swap him and dd over so the boys are all together int he big room and dd is on her own in the small.

We are hoping to move though. Well the option is there with help from pil and I am working flat out while pg to sort it. DH says he has no motivation and I could ring his neck as I would prefer to sort this house now while pg than with a tiny baby.

mrsdisorganised · 07/02/2009 12:35

Still think a 'space' shed would be a plan for when they're older (if you have garden space that is).

sweetkitty · 07/02/2009 12:45

I have 3 DDs just now and am always thinking about number 4

We have a small 3 bed detached house, DD1 and 2 will share an average size bedroom and DD3 once she is about one will have the boxroom.

One of the things that worries me about number 4 is the space for them, I feel like the house is bursting as it is. When I go round friends houses they all have playrooms, I would love a playroom for all their toys and stuff, they have so much stuff.

We have the space for an extension but not the money.

It's interesting to see how others manage it

Ceolas · 07/02/2009 22:31

We have a 3 bed and currently expecting number 5. DD1 and 2 share at the moment, DS has his own room and DD3 (17 months) still in with us.

Not sure how we'll manage but not worrying hugely right now

conniedescending · 08/02/2009 09:00

we have 4 and a 3 bed.

DH and I have largest room, 3 youngest in middle room (cot, toddler bed and single) and eldest in the single room.

Soon I shall put 3 eldest in largest room in bunks plus single and baby DS in the single room.

I think we could get 6 kids in this house with 2 sets of bunks in the double and a set of bunks in the single....bedroom space doesn't bother me so much as downstairs space/ bathrooms. We also have space to expand....2 storey side extension plus loft conversion but no money to do it! We do have a conservatory that doubles as a playroom (in the summer) and a large garden (thankfully).

TeenyTinyToria · 08/02/2009 09:09

I was one of 6 children brought up in a 2 bedroom house, we had 3 girls in one room, 3 boys in the other room and my parents slept on a sofa bed in the living room.

Boys in one room, girls in the other - maybe keep baby with you until it is sleeping well.

edam · 08/02/2009 09:23

Children have always shared bedrooms - poor people had no choice, rich people had nurseries. It's a sign of affluence over the past 20 years that we've started to think it's normal for them to have their own rooms, instead of something that's nice if you've got the space but not essential.

Mind you, I HATED sharing when my sister and I were little. She didn't sleep much and used to keep me awake by shaking the bunk beds. We had four bedrooms so I've no idea why we had to share - presumably my parents thought it was nice or something.

The day we moved and I got my own bedroom was such bliss! Although I'm not sure my little sister ever forgave me, come to think of it.

GrapefruitMoon · 08/02/2009 09:25

One good thing about children sharing is that it gives them an incentive to leave home and live independently at an early age!

edam · 08/02/2009 09:29

bronze · 08/02/2009 13:01

I'm liking your thinking ( my eldest is only 5)

RipMacWinkle · 08/02/2009 13:05

Swedes - that must have driven you crazy! My sister and I were a bit like that except I was the (slightly more) untidy one.

OP - wanted to add that I shared a room with my sister and there is 5.5 years between us. Wasn't an issue. I can honestly say that I never once thought that I should have my own room. It just wasn't an option and worked fine for us.

bronze · 09/02/2009 15:44

I have to agree with Connie as long as everyone has a bed thats not a worry for me its more the living space which I think is going to drive me potty.

BoffinMum · 10/02/2009 07:31

My kids prefer to share rooms. Given an empty house with ten bedrooms, they would most likely choose to sleep together anyway. I think it's good for them and they sleep better.

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