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Original poster

Expecting number 5. Feeling a bit weird.

13 replies

expectingnumber5 · 21/12/2008 15:15

I am a regular but have namechanged because I haven't told anyone in RL, just DH. I might be recognised by some of the details though!

I'm about 8 weeks pg with my 5th. DH and I are delighted (if somewhat terrified) but I'm not sure when to tell the rest of our family. My sister had a stillbirth earlier this year and is now pregnant again, due at the end of April. She is thrilled but understandably very nervous and recently found out there could potentially be some problems with this baby. If I could wait until the baby was born safely before telling anyone I would, but I'm due beginning of August.

I guess I am terrified that something happens to her baby and mine is born fine a few months later. I feel a bit selfish for wanting 5 when she is desperate for just one

I also feel (as I did with my 4th) that maybe my luck has to run out sometime. I've had 4 healthy pregnancies with 4 healthy babies. How lucky can one person be?

I know this all probably sounds a bit irrational, but I'm tired and hormonal atm. I need some reassurance and advice about when/how to tell everyone.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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tots2ten · 21/12/2008 15:41

I am sorry to hear about your sisters baby.

I felt the same about 'pushing my luck' when i was pg with number 5. Midwives and doctors tried to push every test possible on me, i refused as i would love my child no matter what.

I was terrified of telling my family, as dc4 was only 4mths old. the longer i left telling people the harder i found it.

No matter what other people say, you are the one that will be up all night, who feeds and clothes them. I have had some nasty comments about having 5 children and i have had some wonderful comments.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

NotanOtter · 21/12/2008 22:27

dont worry so sweets!

You cannot control what happens to your sister so try t realx

when do you normally tell people you are pg? i waited till 17 weeks with last pg which was nice - made it go quickly too

NotanOtter · 21/12/2008 22:28

congrattywatts as well sorry! Five was great! Much easier than 6!

Pollyanna · 21/12/2008 22:33

don't say that NAO - I'm on a campaign for no 6!

Congratulations OP, I have really enjoyed having no 5 and also felt that my luck was going to run out. I agree that you aren't responsible for your sister, but it is a difficult situation.

NorthernLurkerwithastarontop · 21/12/2008 22:38

Congratulations! I felt I was pushing my luck with my third baby too - that's just a normal fear imo and of course the loss your family has had makes that fear more acute. You aren't responsible for your sister though and how many children she is able to have has no bearing on how many you should have. You aren't selfish.
When you tell people I would be sure to tell your sister as one of the first and give her a bit of space to process it. It may be quite a shock if she thought you were done. Leave it a few weeks though - they may know more about their baby then and hopefully you can look forward to cousins who will be wonderful companions.

NotanOtter · 21/12/2008 22:41

PollyAnna!

Six is lovely - he is very sweet and lovely - My gaps are such that i was not used to the baby and toddler bit so that is hardish but more than that i have teens being as teens are and i think that coupled with new baby is a bit much!

Still thinking may not be done yet so cannot be that bad!

Another downside is the 'shock' status you take on - one takes on! Its impossible to answer the 'how many have you got' question without sounding silly!

Pollyanna · 21/12/2008 22:46

[sorry for hijack OP ] NAO I have that shock factor with 5 already, but I must confess that I don't know how I could face people to tell tham I was pg with no 6! But no chance of that yet - dh is not playing ball! (blimey though, number 7 )

NotanOtter · 21/12/2008 22:48

well no ...just never say never - it's only one more than 6 Pollyanna!

missymoo2411 · 22/12/2008 09:53

it mightr be six if its twins as they say the more u have the more chance of multiples congrats id love number 5 but cant ...good luck

Original poster

expectingnumber5 · 22/12/2008 13:53

Thanks for the words of advice. I usually tell close family around 10-12 weeks, but 17 sounds better. Tis a small town though - I always worry I'll be spotted at mw appts!

Sis has another scan tomorrow so we'll know a bit more then.

Now worrying about other practicalities like house and car. We have a 3 bed house and can't really afford to move atm. Car is a Zafira so I reckon we'll need bigger for sure.

OP posts:

Original poster

expectingnumber5 · 22/12/2008 13:54

Oh, and twins, missymoo?!

OP posts:

tomanykidstoname · 23/12/2008 05:57

i have 7 but was really ill in the last 2 pregnancies so we've stopped now i waited til 20 wks to tell my family they just thought i couldnt lose the baby weight off the one before my sis was having the same probs as urs but everything worked out ok for her in the end n we fitted in a 3 bed house with 5 then extended to 5 beds after our 6th n bought a minibus altho we have just down graded to 2 old previas that cost 200 each off ebay n less than 100 each too put right halved the price of insurance than our new minibus n we now have 16 seats instead of 9 and i can finally parkin a multi storey car park lol

tomanykidstoname · 23/12/2008 06:03

lol n i no about the shock factor my dh gets the mick taken out of him most days at work n they tell every new driver n all i ever hear is u must be mad or if iv got them all with me how on earth do u cope. my 10 yr old dd answered it perfectly the other day wen a woman with 2 really spoiled children from our street asked how we coped n she said we cope very well thank you how do u?

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