I am sooo angry with dh

[liahgen]

I am abslouely gutted as we were trying for #6, (or so i thought!!) dh announces he doesn't want anymore and when he told me, yep lets try again, he was mistaken....

wtf?

I want to bounce his head off the wall. We have 5 dc already, (littlest 3 are his) and yes i'm grateful for them but i have this huge space that is still empty. We have plenty of love left for one more in our lives.

In anger, I've told him, he has to have the snip, (he doesn't want to cos it hurts!!, lol, oh well, bad luck)

Couple nights ago, he has the gall to say to me, if you're pregnant, (he hasn't been careful, even though he's felt this way for a while)as far as i'm concerned, we're not having it.

Well if he thinks that would be happening he doesn't know me at all. First husband tried that, hence he is now x.

Will i ever come to terms with it or will i resent him forever? I'm seriously worried it'll be the latter to be perfectly honest. I feel he's forced me into this and i have no control over it. Yes i've told him all this, makes no difference.

I'd like to think our marriage is strong enough to withstand this but at the moment i'm really not sure.

I used to read these threads with interest at the op contemplating splitting up, and it's not my wish at all, but i can see this eating me up over the years and wearing away our relationship, unless i can find a way to get over it.

NO it isn't even due for another 8 weeks.....don't poke the bear Liaghen .
I'm doing a lot better since I've sorted my back with Chiro and can nest
Nothing worse than a woman who has a need to nest, but who can only crawl to the toilet, it was very frustrating!

I think venting here rather than at him and giving yourself time to calm down is an excellent plan.

You didn't ask me but I did agree with Christmas, most definitely, as a matter of fact I would have liked to have four, my dh didn't, so I decided not to resent him and count my blessings. It sounds more complicated than at first someone is gong to have to decide not to resent someone else -- and why shouldn't it be liaghen?

oh my word, i'm sure the time will fly by now that christmas is upon us. Good luck with it all. x

well how did i manage to write that after missing your last two comments

I hope you find a compromise somewhere

lol at you didn't ask me,

Sorry Stuff, I'm having a really thick moment, I don't understand your comment, [thicko emoticon]

complicated than at first etc? Do you mind trying to clarify please.

ta,

I don't think we will find a compromise, there isn't really one is there? however i'm sure i'll get over it, you only to have to look around the boards don't you to realise that we're, (most of us) are incredibly lucky and blessed in all aspects of our lives compared to some.

er.. compromise..hmm.. get a dog?

Eh? What was the for?

It does hurt. Painkillers or not.

i'm not getting into the does it hurt or not. Are you a man omiron?

They give painkillers these days don't just crack on while he bites on a cloth

No I'm not. But when my DH had the snip he was in a great deal of pain. Not during of course but afterwards inspite of painkillers which were bog standard ibuprofen as they didn't supply anything stronger.

I don't see why the fact that it hurts makes you so cross.

sorry posted in haste.

If dh is absolutely 1000% sure he has completed his family, then no reason why he doesn't take the step to be reasponsible about it.

his comment about. You know i don't want a vasect, it hurts, was a bit pathetic if that is his only reason.

I didn't mean to be rude.

Ah I take your point. I quite agree with you on that.

I think the thing about being worried about his job is a biggie.

If he was unfortunate enough to be made redundant a 'handsome payoff' doesn't last forever - it doesn't actually last very long at all. Also, unless things have changed since I was made redundant, I wasn't able to claim benefits while I still had a certaiin amount of the money left.

I think it's a very real worry in terms of supporting another family member, and a kind of subconscious one about not wanting to make changes when everything is uncertain.