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Larger families

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Original poster

four plus children is the preserve of the wealthy alpha female - Discuss!

56 replies

handmedownqueen · 01/09/2008 18:43

or so said an article in my Red magazine today. So how alpha are we all and does anyone REALLY feel their brood are looked on by others as a status symbol?

I have five, a chaotic household, a semi successful career only achieved by going self employed and part time, money wise we are Ok though saddled with the big mortgage we needed to get the space for them all

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

reikizen · 05/09/2008 19:15

Ha Ha, not in Salford I'm afraid!

handlemecarefully · 05/09/2008 19:19

You've been shouted at????

Anna8888 · 05/09/2008 19:21

One of my favourite friends has six children - a lovely family .

stroppyknickers · 05/09/2008 19:26

Blimey. Wish I knew how to get the wealthy part. Four kids, three divorces, two credit cards, one cat between us and no cash. Fairly lots coming in, lots more going out. I am aiming to have so many that the child benefit comes to more than salary less childcare. Not that I work at the moment.

Judy1234 · 06/09/2008 14:23

"xenia, are you on holiday? This is the second warm fuzzy post I've come across from you recently"
pd, I am warm and fuzzy. Most mothers who work adore babies and want families. There is no contradiction in loving family and as a man or woman returning to work quickly like Sarah Palin or like I did. Most men and women want families and jobs and ideally large families. I was talking to someone this morning who has two and said she couldn't afford more which I think was quite sad and she has lots of friends with one only on cost grounds.

Anna8888 · 06/09/2008 14:33

Xenia - please don't you uphold Sarah Palin as a feminist icon

Judy1234 · 06/09/2008 16:03

Why not? Not all feminists are left wing. I'm not. I don't agree with all her political views but she works and has a family of five. We need more successful women that girls can see rather than just MTV celebrities as their models. And a woman who also hunts is just wonderful. Women can be strong and capable and have babies and nice families and look good (and shoot straight).

twinsetandpearls · 06/09/2008 16:05

I agree Xenia.

Anna8888 · 06/09/2008 18:28

I'm not remotely left-wing but Sarah Palin makes me shudder.

I didn't support Ségolène Royal in the French presidential elections either.

In neither case has that anything to do with them being women and everything to do with them being narrow-minded, parochial political lightweights (albeit in quite different ways).

I'm a huge fan of Margaret Thatcher. She was a political heavyweight.

Anna8888 · 06/09/2008 18:30

I think you need to be a little careful Xenia that your pro-woman stance doesn't blind you to Sarah Palin's (very obvious) anti-woman sentiments...

tiggerlovestobounce · 06/09/2008 18:35

xenia
And a woman who also hunts is just wonderful.

I'm sure the moose and bears are just delighted.....

DarrellRivers · 06/09/2008 18:36

At least SP is out there
Showing the world you can work and have children

Podrick · 06/09/2008 18:36

I think it is generally true in the UK that the majority of large families are at either end of the income spectrum and that economics plays a big role in family size.

Anna8888 · 06/09/2008 18:39

DarrellRivers - that battle was won aeons ago - everyone knows you can give birth (several times, even) and have a career (you "just" have to outsource a large part of childcare in order to do so).

The real battle right now is to see responsible, intelligent women trying to take political leadership positions.

DarrellRivers · 06/09/2008 18:44

I disagree, I think from the furore that the world's media has made over SP and her 'mother' status shows us the opposite.
So many people commenting on whether she is a good mother or not.
So much focus on her family
If she was a man would anyone give two hoots
They should be focusing on her political conviictions

arewenearlythereyet · 06/09/2008 21:52

handle me carefully: yes in tescos in bristol a few years ago, I did actually only have 3 children at that point at was pregnant with dd4, but was looking after my twin neieces for the week, they were 18months at the time. the checkout girl was tutting at the one next to her on the till, so I asked her what the problem was, and the lady at the next till shouted at me that it was obvious what the problem was, how could i be pregnant again when I had 5 children... I didn't enlighten her that the twins werent' mine and then went on to have 2 more. its bloody hard work when you're doing the 21 year old angst and dealing with toddler tantrums but hey ho, life is good usually, even as a now single parent

Judy1234 · 06/09/2008 22:35

I agree with DR. May be in France ANna the battle was won ages ago but in the UK and US that is not so. There are huge battles left to fight until we get to a position when it is no more an issue that SP returned to work quickly after her child was born than did Blair.

As for why women may not go into politics for me it's partly the pay isn't good enough and the job is not secure enough and you have to do a load of very dull work behind the scenes before you get very far too. It's just not appealing enough as a role.

(So anna can you tell us the father of the French cabinet minister's baby - is it known in France?)

Anna8888 · 07/09/2008 08:08

Apparently journalists know who Rachida Dati's baby's father is but aren't telling... like Mitterand's lovechild before, they like knowing but not spilling the beans...

Anna8888 · 07/09/2008 08:15

Maybe you are right. Here in France the daring avant-garde thing is to stay at home with your young children (providing you have lots of qualifications and a great career behind you). Since there is massive social and political support for working mothers, and absolutely nothing for stay at home mothers, in many ways it is easier for French women to return to work after giving birth (though not the next day - that isn't allowed on health grounds).

Gawain · 07/09/2008 17:04

Now that I'm pregnant with number four does that mean we'll suddenly become wealthy?

Countingthegreyhairs · 07/09/2008 18:06

I know four families with four or more children a-piece.

Two are rather upper class (for want of better description). The mother of one of these more or less said to me after a glass of red that she had so many dc to justify the fact that she didn't go out to work.

The other two families are middle-class, Catholic families, not exactly struggling financially but having to be careful.

So like anything in life it's horses for courses.

Wish I could have that many dc - I love large families and came from one myself - but I'm too old now and even if I was younger I don't think I'd be sufficiently patient or stoical ....

Countingthegreyhairs · 07/09/2008 19:34

in other words ...

hats off to them (and you handmedownqueen) whether wealthy or not...managing a brood of five + working is no picnic ....

Judy1234 · 08/09/2008 10:27

Easier than managing 5 and not working (in my view anyway).

mummy5bellies · 08/09/2008 13:48

I've got 5 children, from 2 to 18 and we are not wealthy but we certainly have everything we need just through being careful. oh and having a brill husband who stays at home with the little ones while i skive off, um no, work hard

Countingthegreyhairs · 08/09/2008 14:14

Agree Xenia. Meant to say that both are bloody hard !

Respect Mummy5bellies!

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