twos company three is a crowd???

[lucyfer2000]

How wierd!! I just came on to add a question about third children and there is already a thread started today!

My question is a little bit different though - what do you think??

I have a DD just about to turn four and a DS who is 2.5. So ok these two are already close in age. DP really wants a third baby - I kind of agree but really worried about the old middle child syndrome etc. I had real problems with my DD when DS was born as she didn't understand at all and really hated her baby brother. I couldn't leave them alone together - EVER!! They get on pretty well now (although fight as only bruv and sis can!)

My DS is just gorgeous as he is - he lights up the room and is a real ray of sunshine. I'm so scared that he would change if his muma was engrossed in a new baby.

Also, how much more work is it really!?? Has anyone got three teenagers?? how do you cope with that!!

Every family is different but we found that our no.3 shifted the emphasis so that there was less rivalry between nos. 1 and 2 than there had been before she was born.

No. 2 was and still is the most loving and gorgeous of children and jealousy was never a problem though he did need the reassurance of me doing everything for him for a while, which was highly frustrating for dh who was keen to do things. In the end we just went with it and daddy soon became the popular once again.

No.2 lost his place as the middle one when no.4 was born, which made him not the oldest or the youngest or the girl...so just one of the children. However, he is such a favourite of everyone because he manages on the whole to be the lovely one.

I've only got one teenager so far but I love them growing up. Sometimes I feel I am in a whirl of fetching, carrying and laundry but I love their company. I don't like it when they fall out with each other, but they can be the best of friends.

In my experience no.3 fitted in very easily and the older ones didn't lack attention. Now the main problems are logistical, how do you get A to B and C to D while picking up E from school and reminding F about homework/ music practice etc. A willing dh certainly helps, sounds as if yours might pitch in if he's the keen one. But don't get pressurised. You'll have a feeling as to whether your family is complete and if you don't think it is you'll want another baby despite all the logical arguments against.

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Stru: our number 2 is exactly the same! perhaps being 'the middle one' helped be the mediator... and now hes best buddies with everyone? or perhaps they were going to be that way wether or not they were ever going to have sibs??? dunno...

I found that numbers 1 and 2 tended to leave number 3 out, for quite a while - and still do. But perhaps its more a case of number 1 not getting on particularly well with number 3 and dragging number 2 down with him!

numbers 4 and 5 would get along better, but unfortunately number 5 is autistic and is quite a lot 'younger' than his 2yrs, which frustrates number 4 who is 3yrs and needs that friendship at the moment (more than ready for nursery in sept). Number 1 is a great help with numbers 4 and 5, but often riles up 2 and 3.

Transportation not a prob at the moment as minibus very accomodating...

however...

In september Number 2 going to seniors, which is a minute further down the road from number 3's junior school (a 10/15 minute car journey), number 4's nursery right across the road... and they all start at 8.45 - how do i split myself into 3???

so theres my ramble for the day.. sorry.

just for perspective: 5 sons - 15y, 11y, 9y, 3y, 2y.

Wow! MCS it sounds like you really have your work cut out for you! - FIVE BOYS! RESPECT!!

Thank you both so much for comments.

It is great to know how gorgeous your No:2 stayed Stru. In fact your comments have made me feel a little teary eyed actually!! (in a good way of course!) I hope that if we decide to have another baby that my experiences are similar and that i have the same positive outlook!!

Any other comments welcome!

Thanks, lucy, though just between you, me and mn, I'm not always positive. However, I do think having more children helps me to keep each of them in perspective.

When I just had dc1 if he was grumpy or yelling, or as he got older a real handful, that was my whole focus for the day. When no. 2 arrived, if either was upset it was only 50% (though they did try for 100% at times). When I had no.3, one out of three being a pain was less of a problem and triple tears pretty rare. Now I know that even when one of mine has a bad day there will(usually) be a ray of hope from someone else.

MCS, is the 15yo at the same school that your 11yo is going to? Can your 9yo be in school at 8.30 and the 11yo walk along to the senior school while you hot foot it back to 3yo's nursery? You'll get it worked out. Or just be like me and be the last mother to arrive at nursery every morning.

I find 3 a bit difficult and am therefore toying with the idea of 4 to even things out a bit, plus once you have three you might as well have four because the cost/car/holidays are just as difficult/expensive.
They all have good and bad days and generally love each other to pieces though, but one does often get left out.