How the hell do you b/f no. 4 if they take hours and hours to feed...

[TheDuchessOfNorksBride]

... and you have school & pre-school runs and swimming lessons and blah blah blah.

I've had some help from other mums doing school pick-up etc but it's not a permanent solution. DS1 doesn't like going into school in the morning and DD2 is always shy going into pre-school so I'm reluctant to employ someone else to taken them. DH doesn't drive. Parents are crap/too far away.

I'm just ranting really. If I can get to the summer holidays then it should be OK as the worst will be over by the time we go back to school in September. But it's another 4 weeks, aaarghhhh!

Sympathies, I also have 2 at school, preschooler + little baby. Don't know how old your No.4 is. 4 weeks to summer hols, & counting!

Any help for the swimming lessons? Ours are finally getting easier as baby hits the 4 month mark.

If it's any consoluation, I was at a toddler group with someone yesterday -- our babies born within 2 daysof each other & now 4 months old.
As near as I can tell from the 2 hour periods we see each other weekly, her bubba takes much longer to bottlefeed than I spend breastfeeding. And although the bottlefed baby doesn't wake as often in the night as my breastfed boy, he still wakes, when the mum has a lively 3yo to deal with all day -- it's exhausting!!

And that's without thinking about the fact you're supposed to only make up bottles for when you need them nowadays; I keep hearing formula feeding mums say they have to start solids as early as possible because of how inconvenient formula feeding is (their words, not mine!!).

My problem is my LO wants to be carried everywhere (hates the buggy). It's breaking my back and I can't easily chase the toddler down when needed.

I remember this stage with no2 and about to go through it with no3.

I do think sometimes you have to unlatch the baby and get on with things. If you know they have had a decent enough feed and are probably just comfort sucking then unlatch them, OK sometimes get howling but I have to admit I did use a dummy for the first few months. I think the babies feeds just have to fit round the other two for eg make sure they have had a good feed then go out do your school runs etc even if you have a whinging babe in the back of the car then if they are still fussy come back and give another feed.

Bloody hard work though you have my sympathies and you do know this stage will pass.

You're both right. It's still miserable though! No. 4 will be 4 weeks old on Sunday - oh god, oh god, that means 6 week feeding-frenzy is approaching. Do you think I could advertise in The Lady for a wetnurse?

No help for swimming lessons unfortunately.

This is why I love toddlers.

I would bf first thing before I got up. Then again just before I went out the door, to top up. This usually kept the baby content until I got home after dropping the children off. Then we'd do a marathon feed if necessary.
If I had to take them anywhere (like swimming) then again I'd give a top up before I left. Get the children where they were going and feed all through the lesson if necessary.
I think it's a case of feed whenever you can to get you over the times when you can't.

a sling??

you poor thing, I empathise completely and I only had one other one to worry about. His first term back at school last year when Dd was 10 weeks his swimming lessons were at 5pm, and it was a real drag as DD usually wanted feeding as we were leaving the house and DH at work so no help there.

No advice I'm afraid, but someone on my PN thread is still Bfing her No4 a year on so I'll point her in your direction. Her DH is away a lot as well so she should have some good advice

No pressure then Daisy

Duchess, I was in the same position last summer, DC4 is 1yo in a few weeks. Totally agree that the summer holidays make things a lot easier (although it is the time when DP is away the most).

I ran into difficulties as DC4 was a very undemanding baby, very lovely for me, but did cause a period of 'failing to thrive' as I was always off 'just' doing the kids tea, or 'just' putting a load of washing on. I was also being careful with what I ate and going to the gym. So I thought I was on top of it all, looking after myself. HV started demanding I give her formula which just made things harder. Anyway, we got through that, my point is to make sure you don't shorten or skip feeds as it can lead to worse problems.

I had LO on an 11 - 11 day, and we co-slept. This meant she would be asleep during the morning chaos, and I could feed her later in the morning, and cluster feed through the evening, and night. She also got some time on her own with us, and we got to enjoy her.

DP often does the school run, but when I had to I would just put her in the buggy and go. I often wish I had a pram with a carrycot so she could have napped in it and I wouldn't have had to move her.

You really have to make the effort to rest and give proper feeds. And take babymoons when you can. I'd have the odd Sunday where I would lie in bed yelling at DP "I can't! I'm making milk!"

Supplements I found useful are Neals Yard Beauty Oil (contains all the Essential Fatty Acids) and Metatone.

And a cleaner. Even if its just for a few weeks to get you by, get a cleaner and take the pressure off yourself.

Relentless is a word never far from my mind.

Apologies if I've gone on a bit

Another crap week for b/f so I am now expressing exclusively - so far, so good, but I know keeping up my supply will be an uphill struggle.

I agree with sweetkitty.
I have recently had DS2/DC3 (10weeks) and had to just let things be at times, if the others needed me and he wasn't desperately hungry he had to wait.

I wouldn't bother expressing as I found it just took up even more time, plus after reading ruty's story about nipple confusion it kind of scares me tbh.

Leave as much as you can, give the kids jobs to do, cancel anything that doesn't need to be done, and........breathe

They learn not to take hours to feed. Fourth and fifth babies know their place, ime!

No idea how you cope!

I gave up all the toddler groups/swimming and generally going outside the house when DS was born 3 months ago!

Duchess, I fully b/f my dc4 for almost a year.

My eldest dc was 2 wks shy of his 5th birthday when his youngest brother was born and I can't say that it wasn't (at first) anything other than very hard. The house and cleaning were left and my DH and myself would struggle to do it at the weekend. To make things worse, my in-laws would make 'barbed' commnets on the state of the house as well!!!!

BUT, you can't do everyhing and I decided before he was born that b/f would be a priority. It did become much easier and when he went went through a nursing strike at 11mo and I couldn't get him back to the breast I was devastated

Oh, and my house is still a mess, so I think it probabky had nothing to do with the b/f

I have number 4 due in the first week of the school hols and was dreading it because everyone would be at home for 5/6 weeks. Looking at it from this point of view perhaps it will be ok as there will be no school runs, swimming or brownies to get to. I hadn't thought of it like that.

Although there will be friends running in and out and slamming doors and an extremely untidy house .

A sling that you can feed in makes all the difference. I found this the best.
Also, I don't know if you are co-sleeping but this helps a lot. I am still bf my 4th at nearly 3

Can't do slings yet as my sacroliliac joints keep jumping out. Which is also making prolonged sitting painful so I often feed standing up. Seeing physio again on Tuesday to have them put back - it should stop happening within a few weeks as the loosening-up hormones will have gone. Yippee!

The exclusive expressing isn't much more faff than b/f atm, it fits in with my ludicrously tight timetable and is saving me huge amounts of nipple pain - and yes, I have seen a b/f counsellor and once again they were not able to improve matters. If I can keep my supply up (and I'll do 'cluster pumping' at weekends) then I'm happy.

foxy & juule sounds like you've got it sussed. I did a similar arrangement to foxy with DC3 but more of an 8-8 than 11-11. That worked for over a year too. New baby is good at night but screams cries for attention all day and gets a lot of my time but he is yet to feed conveniently before I have to drive to school/have a phone meeting/whatever. Fortunately we have staff to do cleaning, laundry etc so I don't have to worry about that (not that I'd care if it wasn't done as I am a house-slut)!