If you have a bigger gap between 2nd child and 3rd should you have a 4th as playmate for number 3??!

[Janus]

Hope that title makes sense! We have a nearly 8 year old, 5 year old and a one month old. Can't believe I'm thinking of this already but worried that number 3 will spend lots of time on her own and so should we go for number 4 as her playmate?
We have just moved to a big house so enough room, money OK, car big enough, etc. What I'm worried about is the lack of time I would have for each child as partner does work away quite a bit so it is me on my own for a chunk of the week. We are pushing it age-wise so need to think seriously about this and go for it in next year.
Really wondered what other people's experiences were, eg stuck with 3 and it worked out or went for 4 and are still (nearly?!) sane?
Thanks!

I have 2 with a small gap (19m) and then a 3.6 year gap. If DS3 thinks I'm going through all that pregnancy, labour, birth and all associated palava that goes with it, just so he can have a "playmate", he's got another think coming....

(but that's just my view of course! )

Go for it, it will be lovely.

Not in our case!
I have dds aged 9 and almost 8, and ds who is 2. I know lots of people who have four and reckon it is easier than three in alot of ways, but for us, the fact that ds is alot younger, and a boy means he is interested in very different things to the dds.
If I hav a fourth it would be another gil, she wouldn't want to play with ds, and we'd still have one child left out!

I'd only have another child if we wanted one, not as a playmate for an older child. They may not get on anyway....

We also have little money, and no space so a fourth child would be a bad idea in other ways for us.

i went for 4 after 6 year gap
then decided no 4 needed a playmate so went for 5
37 weeks pg with 6

imo oh yes go for it! number 3 needs a playmate

Agree with Butterfly, though I stopped at 4. My dc3 and dc4 are great buddies even now at 12 & 13.

Great idea! It's what we did!

I'm in same position as you - have a 7,5 and 1 year old. I'd love to have a 4th to play with no 3 as she gets so lonely when the other 2 are at school...

However dh has other ideas and is firmly against it. He says that a dc4 would also be lonely when older 3 at school and we couldn't just go on having more!

Good luck with whatever you decide

we've got those gaps (ish!) dd1 is 10, dd2 is 8 (2 year 5 day gap!) then dd3 is 3 (4yr 9 month gap) and ds is 5 months (2yr 11 month gap)

to be honest the hardest gap is dd1 and dd2 - they bicker virtually non-stop some days apart from that they all get along very well well most of the time anyway....

I decided to go for no 4 and got 4 5 and 6 all in one package.

I've heard that comment quite a few times! We've got a 6.5 year gap between our 2nd and 3rd, and have NO intention of having a 4th. The girls adore their little brother and that is good enough for us

my ds's are 2 1/2 years apart and dd is 4 1/2 years younger than ds2. I did worry that she might feel left out, but as she is already different [being a girl] it may not have been a problem. I actually quite liked having dd all to myself while the other went to school, it was a bit like having your first but knowing what you were doing iyswim.
However ds3 put paid to all that when he appeared 20 months after dd.......and they do seem to get on really well and it is lovely.

This was partly out motivation for going for no.4. Dd1 is 6, dd2 5, dd3 2.5. Of course, no guarantee that no.4 (I'm 6 weeks pregnant) will 'click' with n0.3, but 1 and 2 are sooo close (16 months apart) that we'd love that kind of relationship with 3 and 4. Of course no 'middle child' syndrome too

Thanks so much for the replies. Myself and partner are both really keen to have another one, it's not all for the little one! I just hope I can cope if we do decide to go for it but I think I can as I would never have gone for number 3! What is confusing me is that we have 3 girls now and if we have a 4th and it's a boy would it fit in? Maybe I'm just worrying far too much and we should just follow our hearts as it is what us adults both want and I suppose that is the main thing. I'll let you know if we ever go for and achieve number 4. I think the great thing here is that all of you that have gone for the 4th seem really happy with the decision, thanks for the input ladies.

have a child based on what you want - not on the anticipated reaction of your 3rd DC
DS1 15 DS2 11 and DD 5
she gets loads of attention and play and loves being the youngest ( and the only girl).
We are def done and wouldn't change it for the world.