How was the jump from 3 to 4 for you?

[waitandwonder]

I'm considering a fourth and would love to hear honestly how people found the jump from three to four.

I found the jump from two to three quite tricky - my first two are only a year apart, so although in some ways it was hard, they were (and still are) both in almost the same stage as each other so it was easy to juggle their needs. My third is 3 years younger than my middle, so suddenly I had a newborn while also doing school/nursery runs which felt a lot more work! Obviously this would be the case again with a fourth, but the children are 7, 6 and 3 now so the older two are easier in terms of getting in and out of cars, getting coats on, carrying school bags etc.

I've always pictured myself with four, and I LOVE the idea of four older children, four adult children, but I am a bit wary about the newborn/toddler stage again. It's such a short time in the grand scheme of things but it is hard! We are just getting to a lovely stage now where all three children can communicate well with each other, they play wonderfully, look out for each other and are such a pleasure to spend time with. It would feel like a step back to have a tiny one again. BUT I don't want a few short years to rule a decision for the rest of our lives, if you know what I mean!

I guess I just wondered if you found a fourth slotted in well, I know I definitely relaxed with the third baby as she just had to get on with things with the rest of us, so I'd like to hope that attitude would continue as I was a bit anal about routines with my other two..

3 to 4 was fine, like you, I found 2 to 3 harder.

Am so glad we had 4, the family seems more balanced.

The only thing that was a little more difficult is the finances with adding more then 3, as in more room in the house, a bigger car, and of course the expenses of starting over. But as in the baby itself, was much easier then I thought it would be. I was still in the thick of a baby so to speak when the newborn came along as the third had literally just turned 12 months old when I had newborn so was still changing nappies, night time wake ups and so forth.

It probably depends on each child's temperament, but i found the jump from 3 to 4 harder than from 1 to 2 or from 2 to 3. When you are out and about It's really hard to keep track of 4.

3-4 was the only time I found it hard, because my older 2 were school aged and then #3 was only just 2 when I had #4, so I was trying to manage attending school events and after school activities (almost every day after school because I wasn't going to make my older children miss out because of my choices) with a very active 2 year old and a colicky baby. It was really rough. I see that your #3 is already 3 though, so they will be close to if not 4 years old so I think you'd be fine.

3/4 was awful nearly broke me tbh! I don’t wish my youngest is away now she’s here but do wish I had just had 3

Easier than 3! Confident mother, easy birth, just really relaxed, and lovely to see the other 3 fall in love with him!! And a ready made little gang-very happy memories of my 4.

Sadly I will never know. Had a scan for what I thought would be my 3rd child. Discovered I'm actually carrying my 3rd and 4th.

Our world has been rocked.

3 to 4 was easier than 2 to 3. . Get the bedtime routine mastered...
Save your sanity ime.
2.9 between 1 and 2.
2.8 between 2 and 3.
14 months between 3 and 4.

2-3 was a nightmare as #3 had silent reflux and no one believed there was an issue. #4 was a doddle.

Holding 4 week old dc4 as I type. So far she’s slotted in well and I’m definitely more relaxed. I think juggling school events etc with a newborn is fine, it’s the middle (pre school age) child that is harder to manage.

The car has been the issue for us. Whilst we had a 7 seater before, having one dc in the back seats makes it almost impossible to get the pushchair in, and we are having to use the roof box for the bassinet. Getting the bikes in the car is nearly impossible too.

We have a VW Caravelle so we have a spare seat at the moment still with lots of lovely boot space! One of our issues would be bedrooms. We have a four bed but three of the bedrooms are small, with a newborn/baby it would be fine but then we'd either have to lose the very small office or two would have to share which would be cramped in their rooms

Can't even remember, which probably tells you what you need to know. Ditto going from 4 to 5.

I have 5. For me, the hardest transition was going from 0-1 (in a crap relationship) and she was physically my easiest baby. Slept through within 4weeks.
2-5 with my husband, none have been sleepers, have had large gaps of 9yrs and small two under two gaps twice. Had 2 with silent reflux and one CMPA. They’re now 25, 16, 14, 6 and 4.

So I didn’t find the increases hard at the time, the babies fitted in around what we were doing and fortunately for me the second and third “cohorts” were thoroughly enjoyed whilst their older siblings were at school because of having 1/2/2 formation.

What I’ve found tricky as they’ve got older is that my eldest two are autistic and anxious but only diagnosed as teenagers, so a lot of advocating for them and struggles to get them there. I see lots of traits in 4 and 5 too (though not 3) so I wonder what the teenage years will bring for them.

I wouldn’t change it for a second though.