Pros and cons of a 4th...

[BunnyWilliams]

We have 3 DC, aged 8, 5 and 3 (almost 8, 6 and 4). We had decided were done at 3 but recently we've been actively discussing having a 4th. It's been on my mind for the best part of this year and DH has more recently decided he'd like a 4th too.

This feels like a much bigger decision than with our 3rd for some reason. I am constantly tying myself in knots thinking about it. We already have a 7 seater car and a 5 bed house, we are financially comfortable and average over 150k a year between us.

Our 3 DC love the idea of having another sibling, although I understand that they can't fully contribute to that conversation or understand what it actually means.

If I'm totally honest, the idea of judgement from others, including my dad, is what is holding me back.

Our house is already loud and life is full, but we're managing well for the most part (don't get me wrong, I lose my mind at least once per day!).

If you've had 4, please help me!! What are you honestly finding life like now? Is it so much worse than 3, or manageable?

I have 10 children and when they were all younger, that was some of the best years of my life. We had breaks in between some of the kids but overall I enjoyed expanding my family. In all honesty your going to have a lot of people come on here and grill you about expanding your family and the only opinions that matter are you and your partners. No one else has a right to tell you what is righ for your family. We personally didnt tell anyone about our family plans and didnt let others have a chance to but their noses in on decisions only ourselves have a right too. In my opinion I have never regretting having the kids I have and I wouldnt change it for anything. If you can afford it, have room for more and already managing well then go for it. Yes its going to be hard and its alot more work but if your up for the challenge then in no time it just becomes normal. Good luck.

I don’t have any advice, but following with interest as I would also love a fourth, and am mainly put off by the thought of how other people might react.

We have 4, it's chaotic but amazing. Our house is loud. The amount of washing, mess created & food they eat is insane but I wouldn't change it for the world. They annoy each other often but love each other so much. The older three adore the youngest 🥰 3 was definitely easier but im a glutton for punishment 😅

We also have 4, and this pretty much sums it up. I’m more exhausted than ever, but also the happiest I’ve ever been.

Following with interest

I wanted a fourth and ended up with twins so we went from 3 to 5. I love my children to bits and don't regret anything but here's my list of my cons:

• I always feel like I don't have enough time for my eldest children. They're more independent but I wish I had more quality time with them. And this makes me feel very guilty. They don't seem to mind but it hurts me. They grow so quickly, I feel like I haven't seen them grow up as I was so preoccupied with the twins where they were first born. I had 3 under 3 for a two years and in survival mode. I feel like I blinked and all the sudden they were so grown up 😞
• I am always tired. Life is so busy, the amount of laundry, cleaning, tidying etc plus working 3.5 days a week, I am wiped out and drained.
• holidays cost us a lot of money, so we don't holiday as much as we used to
• the house is noisy, the kids argue a lot, there's toys everywhere. I hate mess, I tidy up and the second I turn my back, it's messy again. My dining room now looks like a play room.

I'd say these are the elements that bother the most. But I have never had four, as I went from 3 to 5. 3 was so easy compared to now. I do think 4 is a good number.

As to the pros, so many. So much love and laughter. No one is ever lonely, I love seeing them play together. They fight a lot but they do love each other.