How did you know you were done?

[Seenofthebed]

I can’t decide if I’m genuinely finished having children or not.
I have two older teens and then after a new marriage I had a third who is now 2 years old. I don’t feel broody anymore like I did after I had my first two, (although I am on contraception whereas I wasn’t before and ovulating makes me crazy broody).
I think I’m having a wobble that it’s so final to accept I’m done that I’m not willing to say I’m done if that makes sense.
I love pregnancy, birth and raising my children. If I had my time again I’d have had a huge family but unfortunately finances have prevented that.
Id love for my 2 year old to experience a sibling close in age like my teens did with each other, but I know this isn’t a good reason to have another child, it’s a consideration I’m keeping in mind.
Im not looking for ‘should I shouldn’t I’ but I’m curious to how you all came to the decision to stop. What was different after your last child that made you know you were done? Has anyone regretted having/not having the ‘not sure’ child? I’m just weighing up my options at the moment before I make a final decision. I still have all my 2 year olds baby stuff and even maternity wear because I’m not ready to part with it. Tia

I had three, and then I had twins, which I always thought was a message telling me, “enough”. I still had a huge wobble when I came to get rid of their pram, though - I think it’s the finality of your family being “done”. I totally get the fact that you’re not ready to get rid of your maternity wear/baby stuff. I think you have to be realistic, though, about what would be in the best interests of your family - just the matter of fitting them in a car, apart from anything else. My children’s father used to say to me that if I had ten children, I’d be saying, oh we could just have number 11, and he might have had a point. The thing is, once you have your children, you couldn’t imagine life without them - but I do think you have to consider the realities of money and space and impact on the household. If you don’t feel broody any more, maybe it’s time to call it a day.

I have three - two much older from first marriage (now 18 and 15) and now 5 yo with my husband. She is his first and last as it simply was a case that financially we couldn't have afforded any more. He had a vasectomy when she was about 2.

I have three and when my third was out there was just a total feeling of being done, we’re good, everyone’s here. I haven’t felt a single pang getting rid of anything, whereas I’d clung on to it all after my second. It’s hard as my youngest gets older, but never to the point it feels like I’d have another.

Just knew. After DC3 was born I had the feeling that everyone is here and we can go forward as a complete family

Yes same here. After two I would daydream about a third, their gender, their name, what they might look like etc. When I had number 3 that all stopped and I just felt 'done'. I have had pangs of 'maybe' since but very fleeting

I have 3 and done. But feel broody all the time bloody hormones. I have a very small baby and yet still find myself jealous of pregnant people because they still have newborn cuddles to come and get to experience that amazingness!
I know it’s insane and illogical.

When health reasons forced me to make the decision to be done. At least it was easy!

I just knew.

Love pregnancy, love birth, love having a clutch (5) of little ones. Then stillbirth and 2 mc in 5 months. And I was done.

No broodiness at any point, which really surprised me.

Im just here to say that you never regret the kids you have, only the one you dont.

I think that's a lovely thought. Unfortunately far from true as I know through my job.

I didnt feel “done” until my 5th and since I’ve felt zero broodiness or even any more than a passing interest in babies.

Ive just had baby 4. Said all along that he was my last and I was done. Now I feel this ache like someone is missing. Husband doesn’t agree, he says he absolutely doesn’t want anymore so I know we can’t but I’m struggling so much with it. Didn’t expect to feel this way at all