Can’t let go of another baby

[pinkbunnylugs]

Hi everyone, I have two wonderful girls one who’s almost 10 and the other is 7. For the last five years we’ve talked on and off about having another baby and it’s never felt right especially during the pandemic. Then I got a job. And then dogs to distract myself.

I’m 35 and my husband is almost 43 and I still can’t let go of the fact of having another one. Although a big part of me is just feels like that ship has sailed. Finances would be the biggest. challenge. Then there’s all the usual being tired and going back to babies etc. My sibling just had a baby, so I’m being reminded of how hard it is.

I guess I worry that in a few years time I will regret not having another one like I regret now that we didn’t have one a few years back. I always wanted a big family. But I never wanted to have babies after the age of 35 so I feel like it’s now or never.
Will this feeling ever go away? Every I find out a friend is pregnant with a third or fourth baby I genuinely burst out crying.

I just feel so torn that it’s really Getting me down and I think about it a lot..
my husband is less on board but is open to it potentially. His main concern is finances. It would be a stretch.

Does anyone have any advice? I keep diving into work or doing more to distract myself.

Mine are 14, 12 and 5. Our 5 year old wasn't planned, but her brothers are brilliant with her! The age gaps don't seem to matter to the children. DH was concerned over logistics (car, bedrooms etc.) but everything worked itself out.

I have always wanted a third and I just went for it. None of these points mattered to me. Yes we will be poorer but we will work extra hard to make it work. Yes my career is going to be impacted but it’s gonna be temporary. And of course many things may be less convenient (holidays, cars, house) but we will figure out. Sibling age gap doesn’t matter so much to me. Maybe you should listen to what your heart yearns for? Then you’d know what you truly want.

@Cxx84 i hope all was well with your newest edition 💐

I’ve been way more over it in the last couple of months. It sneaks up on me through, especially at this time of year. Thanks everyone for your input. Not sure I’ve found a solution but there you go.

I wanted more - DH did not. I got around and began fostering! My biological children are 8 and 7yo. We just finalized our adoption of two of the kids we have been fostering for two years. 5yo, and 6yo. Four children are a lot, but now that I have them, I can't imagine going back to having two.