Recently found out pregnant with baby 4

[fourandpanicking]

I've recently found out the wonderful news that I'm pregnant with much longed for baby 4!

It's very early days and I've not told anyone yet.

I flit between being super excited and completely panicked 🫣

My older children are nearly 5, 3 and 1. They will be 5.5, 3.5 and 2 if this baby is born.

We already have a big enough car, still have all the stuff needed for a new baby (I've kept everything) and although our house could be bigger we have enough room and are prioritising lower housing costs and greater financial stability by staying put for now.

Those with four, how was the jump from 3-4? I found 2-3 straight forward and love having three.

Any words of advice for me?

Forgot to add - absolutely bricking it about telling work if we get to that stage! If things go well this will be my fourth mat leave in the 6 years I've worked there 🥴

I don't have 4 but my best friend does and she found it hard, but she went from 2-4 with surprise twins 😅 but now they're older the dynamic of 4 is amazing. They're my favourite family ever, it's constant chaotic fun, never a dull moment, and every DC always has a friend/someone to play with/confide in. I would love 4 if I could. Congratulations 🥳 so happy for you and your family 🫶

You have told your partner presumably?

Yes of course 😂

Other than him I've not yet told anyone.

This is lovely! Thank you for sharing.

Twins definitely sounds like a lot to handle!

I have 4, my youngest 2 are only 14 months apart but I found 3 to 4 much easier than 2 to 3 baby bo4 just slotted right in as if he’d always been there. He was a happy contented baby and toddler. It was full on when they were all little but I loved it, miss it now, 2 eldest are adults and 2 youngest 14/15 it flies in so enjoy it and take it all in, even the madness and tough days. Congratulations

I have four. I found the leap from 3 to 4 the most challenging to be honest, I think because 2 of my children have ASD. The thing I struggle with is giving enough sole attention to my teenager with my three younger kids being so demanding of my time and attention but I get on with it and you will too.

Interesting you found 3-4 easier! I'm a bit worried as my third was such a chill baby and really did just "slot right in" that I can't be that lucky again!

This is what I'm worried about, giving them all enough individual attention. Especially hard when the youngest one is very little. I've already found this with three. It's got a lot easier since my youngest is old enough to be left with other people but it was hard before I could do this.

I have four I had a 5 year old 2 year old twins when number 4 was born. They were all very chill I loved every minute of it and they were really close and still are It was lovely that they were all in the same primary for 2 years.

The 4th was a doddle as she just fitted in but that was after #3 that had undiagnosed silent reflux who rarely slept and screamed a lot.

Aw this is lovely to hear! Hats off to you coping with a fourth with toddler twins in the mix!

Yes I'd imagine if all does go well that they could be at primary school together!

My older two were very difficult babies, in fact I have no idea what made me decide to have a third 🤪 given how hard the first two were!

My third has been such a laid back baby, made the whole thing so much more enjoyable. I feel like I couldn't be as lucky again!

May I ask what your job is? How do you have the capacity to have three small kids and a job?

Is that you, Carrie?

I've just had my 5th and deffo found 2-3 the hardest

I have four children with about the same age differences as yours. I barely noticed the change from 3 to 4. I found 1 to 2 the hardest.

I didn’t have to worry much about work - I didn’t take much maternity leave, and went back quite quickly each time. I’ve always worked full time, and they were happy to be flexible so I could go home to breast feed and express.

I work in admin part time. I've worked there since before my eldest was born and lucky to work for a company that is very supportive.

I won't lie though, even working part time with three small children I find stressful and exhausting. The plan was for me not to go back after baby 2 but cost of living crisis has meant I've had to carry on. DH works long hours and has a lengthy commute so it's all on me to get everyone ready and drop everyone off on time.

I can't fault the job, they have always been as accommodating as possible but it's all the things outside of work I find that makes it feel very hard. I often see women post on here and think wow their experience of working is very different to mine! They seem to work more than me, enjoy it more than me and find it less stressful than me?

Haha no I'm not sure who Carrie is!

Glad to hear you didn't find 3-4 too much of a jump, especially if your kids were similar ages to mine.

Working full time with four kids though! Wow what a superhero! I find part time absolutely exhausting 🥵

Congratulations! I have 4, with roughly the same age gaps as you. I found 0-1 the biggest adjustment!!! After that, well, we were already doing it anyway, so they just fitted in.

Not gonna lie, it's been (and still is) a lot of hard work, but I knew it would be, and I wanted it, so not complaining. Once you get to 4 it's "career parenting" rather than just being a parent. I spend most of my time rotating between them, making sure I know what's going on with everyone and what they need today.

Mine are now 13, 11, 8 and 6. Life has opened up a lot over the last couple of years - it's absolutely amazing that we have completely left the baby/toddler/preschooler years behind (obviously I loved those years at that time, but they went on forever it is so amazing being able to have proper conversations with everyone now, not to mention not having toys all over the floor any more!!) on the other hand, where I am now, homework, parents evenings, sports training, music practice plus the social lives of the 4 of them... It is A LOT to keep track of and facilitate some days!!

Totally agree with @PeatandDieselfan. 0-1 is the hardest, so essentially you did the hardest part ages ago and you are an expert! I found 5-6 tricky though. Unwanted comments abound from random strangers. I just trot out preplanned responses to totally unoriginal comments and find that helps. Congratulations!

Is that you, Z??

In case you are my SIL (haha!) then no, it's not me, but I could have written the OP word for word 😆

Congratulations OP, I'm really pleased about your fourth :))