Is it possible to have 3 kids and work FT?

[LucyEleanorModeratz]

Hi wise mamas in my phone

Looking for some advice / experiences.

DH and I have two glorious children, aged 4 and 18m. We would love another - love the idea of a little gang, the support they can provide each other in later life, all of it.

We have room for a third and are financially fine.

My question is - is it plausible to have three kids and work FT? I do currently, and yes it's a struggle. That said, I'm somebody who values work and I'm ambitious in a fairly high pressured role.

Am I being completely unrealistic about the possibility of welcoming a third?

Would love to hear about your experiences.

I guess you would have to figure out how to balance your time. You already work full time with the 2 kids you have so I don't think it would be any different with a third..your already do school/daycare drop offs. In reality it all comes down to your ability to divide your time in the morning and afternoon routines. I think if you can manage and your set on having a third then you will make it work. Go for it.

I think it depends on age and your circumstances.

How will you manage childcare, school holidays? Do you have support for when they are ill? Do you work for home or have flexible working?

What happens if you have twins or a child with medical needs?

Some people do manage it, but I know I didn't and had to give up full time work. The numbers did not add up. My job was full of antisocial hours though and I did not have family support.

You'd probably need a nanny if you are going to both work high pressured, long hours jobs.

It’s absolutely possible (I do and always have done - I went back full time when my youngest was 4 months — I am in the U.S. so don’t get a long maternity leave). It helps if you have some flexibility eg can work from home part of the week. However you may find that you want to dial down the work and spend more time with them. I know I do! But we rely on my income, which is probably our fault for living in an expensive city.

I did. And paid for as much help as I could including having an au pair for the first few years. No regrets (albeit we would be significantly closer to retirement if we hadn’t!).

I’m also questioning my ability to balance work and a busy family life. At times I’m feeling overwhelmed but other times it’s fine and manageable. I’m the breadwinner and we can’t afford me not working if we decide to have a third child. I think we would definitely get a nanny to help so that we can focus on career. May I know how old you are? I am turning 38 so I do feel the urgency to decide..

Thank you all for your helpful insight, it's very much appreciated.

I think the issue for us personally is that whilst we're comfortably off (circa 200k combined income) we're certainly not in the financial realms of nannying. To counterbalance that, we do have my mum living locally who currently cares for my youngest twice a week. I would hope she could do one day p/w for a third, though of course not guaranteed. I also WFH 2-3 days p/w which facilitates timely collection from after school club / nursery etc.

@Anusername I'm 35, 36 early 2026. Not therefore desperate to decide now (my mum had my brother and I at 40 and 42!) however my DH's main concern around a third is the higher risk of SEN / disability as maternal age increases. So I think we need to jump one way or the other fairly soon.

Totally torn as it currently stands!

I’ve got two the same ages as my sister’s two then she had another. The dc are now 21, 18 and 16. It’s now she is feeling stretched. Both financially, practically and emotionally.

One at university, paying his £500 a month to top up is loan. One starting A levels this week, learning to drive, (£100 a week) managing a part time job and needing lifts to different things.

One doing his GCSEs, also this week. Taking dc3 to a hobby twice a week that doesn’t finish until 9.30 but she got him into it when he was little so she can’t stop him now.