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Larger families

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Original poster

Already know I want more!!!

11 replies

Zola78 · 15/05/2008 20:21

I have thre boys 3, 2, and 4 months. I really thought that my last pregnancy was my last and I really thought Ds3 was my last baby but recently I have been thinking about a fourth. Every time someone asks me if I want more I say "no" only because I'm scared of being unconventional but I think I want another.

Dh is positively against and has even recently talked about a vasectomy. Further to I am a terrible mother. I shout, I scream, I cry, I'm neglectful but yet I want more. Maybe I'm scared to move on with the rest of my life.

I'm soo confused and soo hormonal. How did you come to the decision to have more and how have you coped with other peoples disapproval????

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oliviaelanasmum · 15/05/2008 20:27

Hi i have 3 girls, 6,3 and 7 months and im 17 weeks pregnant with #4. Dp's family were angry about it as they think we cant afford it but i said if you worried about money no one would have children!

Original poster

Zola78 · 15/05/2008 20:40

I'm not sooo worried about money. I'm worried about taking care of all of them. My dh works long hours and is often away from home. My boys are all very close in age. The baby's just woken up. Back in a minute.

OP posts:

toodles · 15/05/2008 20:51

I'm the same. I have 3 - dd1 10, ds 6 and dd2 2. I always wanted 4 children but not 100% sure at the mo. Partially because I think I need to improve on my parenting skills too. I can shout and scream at the kids too which I'm ashamed about. Also approaching 40 and not sure if I can cope with another as well. Have a chronic iron deficiency which makes me very tired at times.

If health improves will probably go for it in a year though. My older two are already asking when they'll have another baby sister/brother.

With respect to others, there's nothing you can do about their opinions and quite frankly it's none of their business. Noone apart from husbands/partners has the right to say anything about the number of children that people want/have.

sweetkitty · 15/05/2008 20:53

I am 32 weeks pregnant with no3 I say there is no way I am having another as my body has had enough, I have bad SPD but already I am feeling really sad about this one being my last baby.

We can't really afford another one, would need bigger hosue/car/wages but still I have this longing.

Original poster

Zola78 · 15/05/2008 21:34

I really understand the longing. There was a thread about when is enough enough. Part of me thinks will I ever except whatever no of children I have.

OP posts:

Spidermama · 15/05/2008 21:41

I don't give a flying toss about other peoples views on how many children I choose to have. That would be crazy, to let other affect such a fundamental, intimate part of my very being and that of my family. So chuck that out of the window for a start.

I have four and I want at least one more but I won't have any more for two very important reasons.

DH really doesn't want any more.
I had des' vag' surgery and was told I should never get pregnant again.

If number 1. were to change I'm sure I'd try to find my way around 2. however.

winegumss · 21/05/2008 14:35

I dont think that you ever loose that urge or want to have another baby ever....! really really keep thinking that I want to have another baby, currently have 3 -2,4 and 5, and last year had my coil removed only to put it back in again 2 months later because dh so doesnot want another and is demanding of my time and i just felt too tired (am also 42 so that doesnt help!) but,,,i still want one - will this want ever leave me? or you? If you can afford it and your husband is willing and you think that you can give everyone the time they need then go for it!
There are a whole host of larger families out there. I feel like joining yr thread - iwant another one, how can i stop thinking this....?

estar · 21/05/2008 21:43

Zola, I have four boys and am still thinking about another child! The trouble is, when you have all one gender, you have to ask yourself 'Is it because I actually want to try for a girl/boy?' and I can't yet figure out if that's what it is!

I also have bad days and a chaotic house, so at the moment I am putting a lot of time and resources into trying to improve - parenting books, time management skills, etc. I'm not aiming at perfection but I want to see an improvement in a couple of areas before I embark on the insanity journey again .

kittywise · 23/05/2008 22:40

I think I will never have enough, many women are like this.

KatieDD · 15/06/2008 19:15

I have all the same sex and tbh would love another exactly the same simply because I fear change lol
If I have another then that will be my last and I'm hapy with that, 4 seems a good number, three seems odd.

Bronze · 15/06/2008 21:13

"Further to I am a terrible mother. I shout, I scream, I cry, I'm neglectful but yet I want more. Maybe I'm scared to move on with the rest of my life."

Could sum me up really. Ok actually when I read that on its own it looks worse than I orginally thought. I know I'm not a bad mum just not one of those fantastic ones you come across.
Plus for us we don't really have the space or money. Dh doesnt trust any contraception now except condoms yet hes willing to be lax about it even though he doesnt want more. So of course I dont insist yet common sense tells me I should.

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