Pregnant #5

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Hello,

Feeling a bit embarrassed for posting....just discovered I am newly pregnant. This will be my 5th child. I have 4 children with my ex partner who’s seeing the children regularly and we have a great coparent relationship.
I’ve been with my new partner for over a year who doesn’t have any children from previous relationships. I wouldn’t say this wasn't planned but I suppose to a degree it was as we wasn’t being careful I wasn’t expecting it to happen so quickly.
My 4 children are incredibly and we have such a lovely relationship and such a happy home (13, 9, 6, 2) I am a very happy and capable mum. It’s hard work with working and also coparenting but I couldn’t imagine my life after different.

When I told my partner he was absolutely over the moon and so happy but I can’t help but feel so scared of the unknown.

If am completely honest the only thing that is making me worry is that I can't cope with other people's negative comments and assumptions. I had a bit of that with 4, but expect more with another. I know I shouldn't be bothered and it's my choice etc but it does feel upsetting. I would appreciate some sensible advice (good and bad reviews) and to hear some experiences of 5.

I’ve only found out a few days ago so I’m sure it’s just the panic and realisation of everything, please can someone tell me how their experience was with baby num 5 ?

thank you in advance <3

Hi OP, first of all congratulations!!
Dont be embarrassed or apologetic!

You are a capable mum, kids happy, partner helps to raise them and their father too. Only natural your partner will want a genetic child too, he is happy. I think your fear is normal as it is something new, it wont be easy but I sm sure you will manage well. Regarding other people - none of their business!!

Congratulations 🎊 I have 4 kids and people always talk, even my dm thought it's too many kids. Be strong, good thing you have supportive partners, all will be well. I hope to have my no.5 next year.

Congratulations! I have 5 and very similar ages
to yours and from two marriages. It’s easy in that there’s now two ‘little ones’, it’s hard to explain but it feels a better balance. I get a few comments and I do care what people think despite trying not to. I mostly just say that the baby was a surprise number 5 and how lucky we are and that works. Otherwise, if you can manage 4 you can manage 5! Sensible advice that I live by: always know what you are having for tea and get it prepped first thing in the morning / make their lunchbox sandwiches at the weekend and freeze them / when it’s tough-going imagine you are an old lady and have been teleported back in time to that exact moment for one more chance to experience family life, strange but it certainly makes me much more loving and calm lol

Congratulations! People are going to talk no matter what you do or how many children you have. If you think you can manage and you have great support then roll with it and enjoy it. I have a large family and would love one more. My husband and I don't let people in on our life plans and we keep our family planning to ourself because it's no one's business and my husbands side of the family is very negative and not supportive. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't listen to the negatives, only take on the positives.

Congratulations OP, we have 5 children with a similar age gap.

Yes, people will talk and comment, they will call you crazy or have to mention that you have your hands full.

I usually laugh it off or say “hands and heart full”. I love my 5 so honestly I am not bothered what people say but it can get draining.

This is your life, you will be fine and I am sure your little one will be adored but everyone.

IMO, people only say negative things because they can't imagine themselves coping, and therefore, can't possibly see how anyone else could do a better job than they could under those circumstances.
The most judgey people I knew were my own mother, who wasn't great at coping with two DCs, and one of my best friends, who after a traumatic birth with her DS (he had a lot of health issues), used to delight in quoting her mantra "when your first one's this perfect, there's no need to have another!".

Congratulations on your news. Sod what everyone else says!

Congratulations I have 10 ages 14, 12, 9, 7, 6, 4, 3, 2, 1, and 6months