Changed mind about large family

[Skymama90]

I'm a 34 year old mum with a DH of 2 years and an 18 month DS. I always thought I'd have a large family being 1 of 4 and as I had a large age gap between the rest of my siblings and me I thought I'd have them close together (so they'd have a close relationship). However I soon realised I couldn't cope having another child so soon and as I'm leaving a gap I'm finding it more feasible to only have 2 (if I'm lucky enough to have another and its a girl I don't think I'll try for another). My DH has made comments on how he'd like 3 but.....I don't really want to have children around 40. I don't know how I feel I would have liked 3... has anyone else changed their minds about how many children they wanted after they started a family - having more or less children than initially thought?

I just did one at a time!

Was done at 2 and just knew it.

I think what helped was - we'd run out of bedrooms, my business was taking off and had suffered during two close maternity leaves, and i had a girl and a boy.

The problem with 3....or 4, is the last one maybe twins!!! There are some things you just cannot plan meticulously for!

Before kids I always thought I'd have 3 but actually 2 is just right for me. Just so many reasons - house size, finances, car etc but also youngest was a really challenging baby and I had PND and I just can't face potentially experiencing that again. Dh had the snip and we are all very happy. I've got one of each and feel very complete plus the dog is like our third child 🤣

I did. I wanted five. I had one then said no more due to the terror of nearly losing baby ds due to a crap and awful midwife. H wanted another so we did then I had two miscarriages before a third baby. Baby 3 and I nearly died at birth so that had to be the end.

I was done at two. My finances wouldn't cope with a third.

I had 2 close together and my ex left when second was one. I didn’t think I would have more but met someone else who wanted a child so went on to have 2 more. I had my last at 38. I don’t regret it for a minute, best thing ever. There is a 10 year difference between DS2 and DD2. It has not always been easy as I have really been a single parent forever but they are my biggest achievements and I am so proud of them.

Don't overthink it OP. Your DC is very young and I dont think you can really think beyond the next baby as you dont know what that life will look like. I was one and done, had a surprise baby number two and now would love a third.

I think you need to take it as it comes; if you decide only two, then that's that. I have neighbours who had 2 and decided to try for a third - and got triplets!! Massive change for them and many sacrifices.