Is 4 really the magic number

[Alisonn12]

I’d love to hear from people with 4 kids what’s your experience? I currently have 3 little girls recently my eldest has been off sick she’s 6 and stayed home with me and my 2 year old it really felt like a holiday just have the 2 to tend to and no dramas either. 3 is very chaotic loud and full of arguments does the 4th balance things out by any chance😂😂

I don’t know how having another child would make things easier!

I think adding another child to the mix will just add further chaos, noise and arguments.

I feel stretched with two, couldn’t imagine having to give equal attention to four, there are only so many hours in the day

No, of course not! I have 4 and they just switch who they fight with on a regular basis. It’s not like they pair off in a big, harmonious love-in. Siblings are siblings. I love them a lot and we have great fun, but you certainly need more energy not less with each additional child.

Fuck no, you have two hands.

Actually my 4 did balance off in harmonious love-in by the most part. I found 4 worked much better than 3 did. They paired up and not often the same 2 with 3 there was often x won't let me play this stopped mostly with 4 as another would let them play

They are a close knit lot that cares greatly about one another and I personally found managing 4 was fine.

However it comes at a cost like we have had 2 in uni for 8 years now. We did not have much in terms of holidays and not the same with loads of material things.

Funny enough this is exactly my question, I started another thread on it. I have 3 boys. Seems common comments are affordability, time and space.

I was once told that 1 would be a loner. 2 would constantly argue. With 3 one of them gets left out, so 4 really could be the magic number.

Not true. My older two kids get along wonderfully. In fact this was part of my angst about my third, that I wasn't sure how this would impact their relationship (so far so good, fingers crossed).

But I wasn't super close to my older brother growing up, so obviously there's no garantee.

I think it depends on several factors, age gap, gender, character, parents' behaviour... For instance from very little I encouraged them actively to share, plus covid meant they only had each other for the first couple of years (DS2 was born in 2020).

Anyway, personally there's no way I can cope with four, but everyone has a different limit.

To add, my SIL wants 4 but she wants them paired by two - so two kids with a small gap, then a big gap, then two more. It makes a lot of sense. But I don't think I'd have wanted to start again after my older two were grown and I had my life back, plus I was older than SIL when I started having kids. So far she has two 15 months apart. I have two 19 months apart then another 3.5 year apart.

3 is plenty