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am i in the wrong?

2 replies

littlebirdiex · 08/01/2025 22:46

hello everyone, today isn't a very nice post. i am 20 years of age for some context and i've noticed my whole life that my dad favourites my brother (17) and will go as far as to hurt me just to make my brother happy.
so as of recent my brother got a girlfriend and they've been together just over 6 months, i had an odd feeling about her and it turned out i was right, this came to light on monday.
ever since my brother has been with this girlfriend he's been feeling extremely down and suicidal, he even went as far as overdosing on Monday so i called his girlfriend and asked what has gone on to which she replied that she said she wanted to break up with my brother which sent him over the edge.
my brother told my mum that his girlfriend is extremely controlling, he has to ask to go to the toilet, he isn't allows to play his pc games without her permission, he doesn't talk or go out with his friends anymore. she compares him to other lads and her ex and says she misses her ex all the time.
i have tried to talk to my brother about all this but he defends her by saying that she gets intrusive thoughts about her ex but in my opinion she isn't over her ex if she misses him?? she also made me out to be a liar by saying that she never said to me that she wanted to leave my brother. she came over today and i told my brother that i don't want her coming near me because i won't be able to bite my tongue because that is my brother at the end of the day and i will not allow any girl to hurt him. my brother then started complaining to my dad and my dad came into my room and started absolutely obliterating me, hurting me and telling me my boyfriend is not welcome until i accept this horrible girl into the family and he even went as far as to make excuses up for her behaviour to which i replied "i just don't understand how you could defend someone that treats your son this way" my boyfriend is a complete sweetheart and has never wronged me and this has hurt my boyfriend as he feels he is picking that girl over him (me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years)

OP posts:
IdLikeMyMomentInTheSunshine · 10/01/2025 14:08

I think you would probably get some more responses and advice if you moved this into relationships.
However, I think you probably just need to step back and butt out of your brothers relationship, and do not take it upon yourself to contact his girlfriend directly. I understand your concern for your brother, but this is for your parents to worry about. You just have to hope the relationship eventually runs its course, and at just 17 years old it undoubtedly will, and then be there for support when it does, but only if your brother asks for support.

user1492757084 · 19/02/2025 07:57

First answer is a good answer.
Remember to feel fortunate that you have your nice boyfriend.
Be there for your brother and remind him to use excellent contraceptives.

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