Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Larger families

Find out all about large family cars, holidays and more right here.

A third?

9 replies

Expatinsingapore · 27/10/2024 00:10

My husband and I are teachers in an international school in Singapore.
We have two boys who are 4 and 5. My husband and I have talked about a third for about 2 years now. I am getting to the point where I don't want there to be a bigger age gap than there already is.
Should we have three? Have you got more than two and have any regrets? Have you stuck with two and happy with your decision?
Helpppppp.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
StressedQueen · 27/10/2024 00:12

I've got 5 and am really happy with it.

But it's impossible to advise you on this. Are you financially able? Emotionally - do you think you'll be able to support and be there for 3 children.

If you've been talking for 2 years and you are both completely on board and happy with it, I'd go for it.

Eenameenadeeka · 27/10/2024 07:02

We had 2, then 5 years gap and had another. Was so lovely and nice having big kids more independent and some 1:1 time with baby when they were at school, they really loved baby brother but the age gap also felt like he was a bit left out being at a different stage. . we had another (had always wanted to have 4 ) which feels more balanced I think

blotchyskin · 02/11/2024 19:36

I have 3. It's a bloody nightmare. Would not recommend.

jwnib · 02/11/2024 20:10

I remember that feeling OP, when you have children around that age so you know it's now or never if you don't want a huge gap. I will say (appreciate this is larger families, but it came up on active) that I was really undecided at the time (2 boys also, I won't lie that having a girl was one of the considerations!) but in the end decided that life was just starting to settle, especially as we got out those childcare years and we could start going on lovely holidays, and we had hobbies again, and felt like we started shared interests with our kids rather than just being their guardian if that makes sense? I realised that actually I was really aiming for quality rather than quantity in terms of really wanting to provide for them what I could, that I really relish 1:1 time with my kids, plus time with my husband, plus time for my own hobbies and career, and it's much easier to juggle this with 2 kids. DH got the snip.

Mine are teen/ pre teen now so still relatively early in our parenting journey I suppose, but I have no regrets yet, I am one of those who have felt very relieved going into the teen years that we have the capacity to spend time 1:1, teens needs are very different to young children. I'm not going to say it's harder because I don't play into doom mongering and I don't think it can ever be as time intensive as pre schoolers, but teens require a surprising amount of your bandwidth still that shouldn't be underestimated, and I'm very glad I haven't overcommitted, especially now I spend most of my week working as a taxi! I know this is controversial, and many won't agree, but I think I would struggle to have the depth of relationship I have with my 2 sons if my time and energy had been further divided by another, I will never know, just as those with 3+ will never know how they'd have parented differently with less, but I certainly don't have regrets.

houseselling101 · 02/11/2024 20:20

I have 3...

  • you are out numbered so I does feel like they gang up on me 😂
  • days out tickets are geared to a 2 adult 2 child set up so becomes expensive when you are a family of 5
  • impossible getting U.K. hotel family rooms - so you have to book 2
  • the cost of going from a 3 to 4 bed house is financially a big step and most houses the 4th bed is a box room/study

But ....I'd have had more if I could have - once you've hit the 3 mark and used to the extra expensive then adding to the numbers doesn't seem that bad!

LegoHouse274 · 24/11/2024 16:53

We have recently had our third! No idea really what life will look like yet I suppose. Also completely different circumstances to you based on your jobs and where you live etc.

MissingLists · 24/11/2024 16:54

My third was twins... no regrets though!

handholdneeded2024 · 24/11/2024 16:56

I have three and I'd never change it. But you do go from being able to meet the needs of everyone to not quite meeting the needs of anyone. Life is hectic, messy and you never have any time. I often reflect on how easy our lives would be now if we'd stuck with two.

BorryMum · 24/11/2024 17:13

I've got three teenagers. There is always something going on with one of them. It's exhausting, also think about your ages when they are teens. Being an older mum I didn't factor that in and three teens and the menopause don't mix well!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread