Who agrees with this quote?

[Mum23boys1987]

'you'll never regret the children you do have, only the ones you don't'

If considering a larger family should we listen to the general view that over 2 is too many or follow our hearts and have as many as we can comfortably provide for.

Well I don't agree with the quote because that situation is different and applies to everyone.

But I think that you should follow your heart and have as many as you can comfortably provide for. If you want more, and can support more, both emotionally and financially, have more. I have 5 children including twins, and I was seriously considering not having my 5th but I would've regretted that and I am certain of it. My children are definitely loved and comfortable while I know some of their friends may only be part of 2 siblings but struggle a whole lot due to their parents.

Over 2 is also definitely not too many. If you want a 3rd and have thought about it properly, I'd say go for it. It's only on here where anyone below or above the perfect 2 children gets judged. 3 is a completely normal number. 4 is probably where people are like oh that's more than the normal but it isn't insane.

Well on the basis of your quote you could have eight kids? Fifteen? You definitely wouldn't wish any of them away once you knew them, but that doesn't mean it's a good idea for everyone who can afford it to have fifteen kids.

If you and your partner want another, make a list of practical and emotional pros and cons. That helped us immeasurably.

No I don't agree and although I love my children I regret my third.

Plenty of people regret having children, the truth is that they don't say it to people because there's a stigma especially for women to admit it and what's the point in most circumstances you can do nothing about it once the child is here.

But I'm telling you right now that plenty of people regret having children.

That quote can fuck off. How about people who can't have any more children? How about people who can't have ANY children?
Don't like it.

@TomatoSandwiches out of interest why do you regret your third? The main thing putting me and DH having a third, even though I really want one, is the fear of regret. (Obviously other factors too). Absolutely no judgement, just interested as like you say you never hear about it but it must happen.

Definitely have as many as you can afford. Mine adult now - i have 5. But i'd have loved to have had 9 or 10 if we could have afforded more.

I don't agree with the quote either because I regret having my child 🤷‍♀️

Why do you regret having them?

As many as you can afford? Why? Why make it about finances?

I could afford more children.

But I don't have the time or emotional energy to devote to more, so we stopped at two.

I very much disagree with the quote, I know plenty of people who have regretted their children.

The most common cause for regret among people I know is when they have a child with severe disabilities or special needs or behavioural problems.

Obviously they love the child, but they feel very helpless and guilty about the impact it has on their older children.

Four here and never regretted any. Would have lived more but after 4 sections I thought I should stop.

I don’t believe it as although I have 5, whom I love so very very much, if I were doing my life over I would have 1 or 0.

Sorry, that quote is rubbish. I know quite a few parents who love their children but if they had their time again they would stay child free.

@Travelfoodwine because I have a child with additional needs and the positives of having them in my life don't outweigh the negatives. I'd be much happier childless.

Admitting regret is different to having regret. I know lots of people who should not have had children. Foster care and children's homes are full.

I regret the laundry and housework.

Facile rubbish, like most ‘quotes’.

If we have been lucky enough to have 2 wanted children what sort if ‘regret’ can we as mature rational adults not deal with? Are our lives ruined, flip flopping about on a chaise longue because we sort of felt like a third would be nice but we worried about the time give them, or whatever, and now we just can’t be happpeeeeee?

Have kids if you want (and can support them, come what may) , don’t if you don’t.

I am one of 5. I have 2 kids, one of my siblings has one child, one has no children and the other two have three each - in their cases a second pregnancy was twins.
None of us would have ever considered having 5 children.

Not everyone would agree with that quote because everyone has different resources and situations.
The other consideration is that the planet would not survive if all those who love children and can provide for them had their maximum number. Humans are destroying trees and native habitats for creatures other than humans.

The quote is trite to me, thrown out casually by those who have managed to bear and raise children without difficulty.

Personally I think it’s a saying to guilt people, generally women, into having children to satisfy someone else’s need.
Having children is not an easy choice for some.

Even if fertility is not an issue, the threat of disabilities, or of passing on genes that will likely cause problems for those children, are issues to be weighed carefully, and can certainly be cause for regret.

The saying touches a nerve for me.

No that's trite bollox, you can 100% regret the kids you have. You can also regret those you don't.

I got pregnant at 43 and decided to have an abortion because I didn't want to go through the nappies, sleepless nights and toddler phases again. I have never had any regrets. I have two lovely children and my family is complete. I thought that then and I think it still. Two was right for me.