What's it like going from 3 to 4?

[Bee1792]

I'm a 32yo mum to all girls. 10, 8 and 6. They're great kids but can be a handful at times.
My partner has a mental health disability which has improved quite a lot over the last couple of years and I am a SAHM. We're currently on disability and carer benefits.

The topic has come up (from him) about the possibility of a 4th. Both of us have always pined for a boy. And initially I said no because I can't guarantee a boy, if I could, I would 100%. My second pregnancy was a boy but ended in TFMR.

But the topic has come up again recently and he wants me to seriously think about it. So I am.

I'm more open to the idea now. But I'm still unsure. I am typically like this as a person though, I worry about all the what ifs.
We've already figured we can sort all the baby stuff out, and even get a new car to accommodate and move house for the extra bedroom.

But I worry about giving birth again, my last birth was pretty traumatic for me and I had flashbacks for a few months afterwards, I do worry about if it's a girl again, I know we can sort a car but what about when it comes to mine or his parents? How would they take them out when they're older like they do now for days out if they all can't fit in their cars?

And I just don't know.

I just want people's experiences of going from 3 to 4. Good, bad, whatever.
Trying to get as much info as I can to make the right decision.

I didn't find 3-4 much different to 2-3. Once you have 3 it is a crazy house anyway! And I prefer the dynamic of 4
With 3 I felt one was always left out. Your gaps are bigger than mine so I would say this would make it a little easier. I found a toddler and baby are difficult together. Your older ones should be able to help with the baby , fetching nappies , wipes etc.

Ps you could also look into gender swaying to increase chances of conceiving a boy. There are groups on fb.

I think the question you have to ask is if you knew for certain it was a girl, would you, and also your DH, still want a fourth? Unless the answer is yes, then I don't think you should.

3-4 when they were little was easy! Slotted in no problem. Now they are all older it’s actually much harder.
They all need expensive uniforms and want to go on school trips and need sports equipment, and the logistics of getting everyone to their required places is really difficult, we are lucky that we have flexible jobs and a car.
We have just have to get a bigger 7 seater as they are nearly all fully grown now and couldn’t fit them in our normal one anymore.
We are dreading when we need to pay for uni and driving lessons for them all. I would think carefully about the longer term of having 4 before you go ahead, the baby stage is definitely the cheapest years!

@ILikePotatoes Presumably you were not paying for nursery fees? I have 3 and would like 4. People talk like you do and I just think, well nothing is more than nursery fees. And if school trips, hobbies really cost more, well, I don't feel bad that I can't afford that.

3 to 4 was way easier for us than going 2 -3.
The youngest two are now great company for each other. When we just had 3 the youngest was a bit left out due to a four year age gap so it has worked out well for us as he now has company.

watching with interest as I have 3 and am also thinking about whether 4 would be feasible...

Have you thought about finances, not so much now but in the future when they are expensive teens?
I have boys and I wouldn’t as in my heart I would be slightly disappointed with another boy.