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Larger families

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Original poster

How many children is too many?

53 replies

thefabfour · 06/04/2008 20:33

Currently have four. They are all very little (eldest is almost 6, youngest 11 mo) so we're not considering another right now, but would love another perhaps in a years time

But we are bombarded with negativity. Apart from being told we 'have our hands full' constantly, apparently, we don't have enough space in our house, I will never be able to return to work, the children will suffer because they will not get enough attention.. and so on.

I feel from a society point of view, four is just on the 'acceptable' side of large.

so, how many is too many???

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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OverMyDeadBody · 08/04/2008 10:15

Well I'm one of six and that wasn't too many in our house! Although my parents often run through all the names before they goet the right one and we had a few incidents in the past of leaving someone behind somewhere (well, actually more than a 'few'!)

It is like a soap opera a lot of the time, but now that we're all grown up (mostly!) it is wonderful to have so many siblings around, there's always someone to chat to, help, have a laugh with, give support to etc etc.

I have one DS though and that is enough for me!

MissPaulaYates · 09/04/2008 11:57

pollyanna

Peachy · 09/04/2008 12:03

it's 4 for us, not just because of the speed of delivery (mw made it with a couple minutes to spare, second didnt unil after) but because of basic logistics- car size, house etc. also it's dh's turn to follow his dream of uni next and my turn to support that (as he has my dreams for the past 5 years since i gave up work)

cazboldy · 09/04/2008 12:13

Agree that 1 is too much for some people. my sister only has 1 and says she is never having another - her lo is 6 now.

I have 5, and don't think there will be any more, but never say never, and would not be sad if it happened

numptysmummy · 09/04/2008 12:14

I've got 4 and would love more. I just don't feel like i've finished having babies yet. Sadly dh feels he has! He told some close family that i wanted more and my fil got really nasty,verbally abusive saying i needed my f-ing head read etc. I just don't see how it is anybodys buisness. I presume something inside tells you when you've had enough,be that 1 or 10. Need a broody emoticon!

Loshad · 09/04/2008 12:19

I was often tempted to have another after 4, but actually it is right for us, and I think i was longing for another baby, as opposed to another child, and one does turn into the other. Right now 4 is definately a good number with all their various sports and traumas, and the finacial implications of another would be huge, as they are all at independent school.

crumpet · 09/04/2008 12:19

It's so subjective. Depends on health of parents and existing children, space, finances and time available.

taokiddy · 09/04/2008 12:20

Had 4 in 6 yrs. partner works long hours (need the money!) so on my own with 4 littlies most of time, but think its v bonding. We're all v close and have a real laugh. Like having my own little gang. I think people can be a bit jealous when they see you actually enjoy your faimly however many kids you have.

sweetkitty · 09/04/2008 12:22

I am pregnant with number 3 (waves at the other preggos she knows) and thought we would stop at 3 but I would love a fourth but not sure my body could do it TBH. If someone could give me a baby or toddler I would jump at the chance but this pregnancy has been very hard on me and I feel I'm taking it out on the DDs as it is. Really don't think my pelvis would take another pregnancy, feel quite about stopping at 3 though.

taokiddy · 09/04/2008 12:23

Partner had snip quite soon after birth of no. 4 and beginning to think we were a bit hasty. But got to stop somewhere I guess....!

sweetkitty · 09/04/2008 12:39

I think the minute you go over the regulation 2 you will get comments.

I have had the don't have a telly one and I'm only on number 3!

Also the minute I announced no3 was on it's way I immediately got the "thats you stopping at 3 then?" comments too oh and I also get the "are you going to keep going until you get a boy?" comments too

FWIW unless these people are helping you financially or getting up in the night with you they have no reason to comment on the number of children you chose to have, it's none of their business. I couldn't care less is someone else has 1 or 10, it is them that are having to look after them not me so best of luck to them.

MissPaulaYates · 10/04/2008 12:32

i wish i knew how to answer all those silly comments sweetkitty

'what if it's another boy?'

what on earth m i ment to say and i get that few times a week every week

MissPaulaYates · 10/04/2008 12:32

'am' meant'

Pinkchampagne · 10/04/2008 12:37

Two is two too many for me right at this moment in time!! Respect to all those of you that have 5!

sweetkitty · 10/04/2008 12:42

I'm selling him on ebay
Giving up for adoption (said with very straight face)
Why are you asking? Do YOU want him?

Would think of some more witty ones Paula but foggy brain

Stopfighting · 18/04/2008 21:55

I have 5 and would like to ask those of you with 4 or more if you feel a lot worse for wear, physically than you did after the first two or three?

juuule · 18/04/2008 22:15

I felt a bit worse for wear after no4 but then I had had 3 in 2.5y and no 4 wanted feeding every 2hrs night and day plus having the other 3 to look after. Things picked up after 6m. I didn't feel toooo bad again until after no7.

Stopfighting · 19/04/2008 12:10

How bad did you feel after no7?

SparklyGothKat · 19/04/2008 12:18

I have 4 and am thinking about another one, but things put me off. I have a large gap between Callum and dd2 (6 years) and the older kids are all at school, so would like another one for Callum's sake. But I have had the comments too. I also don't know where we would put another baby, we live in a 4 bed house, but 2 of the rooms are tiny (the boys are in a room each and the girls share)

Ripeberry · 19/04/2008 12:40

A lady on our estate has 5 children and is pregnant with no6 and she says that will be the last one.
She then wants to get lots of puppies, she already has 5 dogs and they all live in the garden in kennels but they are quiet.
Suppose some people just "have" to look after something be it a child or an animal.

juuule · 19/04/2008 13:13

Exhausted for quite a while and my stomach muscles seemed to give up during that pg. I went on to have 2 more though, so I did recover somewhat and funnily no9 was one of my easiest pregnancies and I felt okay physically after the birth (back doing the school run 2 days after)

lightningGirl · 07/05/2008 20:27

One of my high-school friends has , 6 brothers i think and three sisters . And she was the oldest. the youngest was bron when we were fourteen All to the same dad .They were happy , but busy so i suppose that proves theres never a limit as long as you are happy and under control.

Idobelieveinfairies · 07/05/2008 20:50

8 is enough for me..i am starting to get confused and forgetting the boys friends.

4 of the boys are at the same school in years 5,4 and 2 so i see and talk to a lot of the mums, but i do sometimes forget which ones are friendly with which one of my sons,do you know what i mean??? can be very embarrasing.

I think it all depends on the children, i have been lucky mine have been relatively calm, good eaters and sleepers. I have 1 nephew who is the hardest work of all, i look after him all day and i he wares me out!

AnneMayesR · 09/05/2008 08:46

I have 3 and we are thinking about having another. I think some of the negative comments from family are really holding me back. I was one of two kids and had a very lonely desolate childhood. My kids get a lot more attention and are more well adjusted than I ever was. Large families are the best!!

MissHannnigan · 09/05/2008 09:15

I have 5 and the leap from 4 - 5 was very hard .
It is easiar now they are getting older but I would not have anymore ever .
I think you know when you are done .

However I do think it's down to personal .
choice how many dc you have and I hate hate hate people who think they can comment on how many dc you have and be rude about it.

IE : Do you not have a tv?

When are you having another?

Are they all yours?

Also medical staff are sometimes very rude when I went for my first scan I had a really rude doctor who basically questioned me as to why I wanted more dc and that I should get sterilised after this PG!!! (I was perfectly healthy never had a problem in pregnancy)

I still fantasise about what I wish I had said to him

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