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If you get any 'free time' how much per day and what do you do to wind down?
23

kittywise · 05/04/2008 22:06

Just wondered.
I get an hour in the evenings and I drink wine

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bogwobbit · 05/04/2008 23:11

Very little free time sadly
I 'play' on the computer. sleep and dream of one day actually getting some exercise. Have actually agreed to go to a British Military Fitness class next week. I hope I'll actually manage to go. I hope I'll survive it

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kittywise · 06/04/2008 08:50

ha, ha, obviously bogwobbit and I are the only ones with another time to think about our spare time!!!!

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aGalChangedHerName · 06/04/2008 08:55

I CM 7am till 7pm Mon to Fri and DH works most weekends. Most child free time ie when dd's are in bed is spent ferrying the ds's to gf's clubs/work etc.

The rest is spent desperatly trying to keep up with the mountains of washing/clearing away crap etc.

DH and ds1 are away golfing this morning (in the snow??) so i should really just piss off this afternoon when they get back shouldn't i?

Hmm what would i do tho?

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conniedescending · 06/04/2008 08:58

I get most evenings free.....but mine are 5 and under - don't think that'll last when they're older. I refuse to do any housework after 8pmish so DH and I can relax and spend time together.

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sarah293 · 06/04/2008 08:58

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Psychomum5 · 06/04/2008 09:01

free time........wasss that then????

nahh....I get it now as and when all are well, and all are at school.

during hols tho......never, unless I book time away from the home.

older girlies stay up in the evenings, younger boys rise early.......

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juuule · 06/04/2008 10:03

Not much. Most things that I do I get interrupted constantly.

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MindingMun · 06/04/2008 10:20

I run our house like a military opreation to ensure there is some me time otherwise i'd go insane

Encouraging everyone (including DH) to do 3 or 4 small chores twice a day ensures that i get time when they are at school/in bed/ at nana and grandad's, i don't have to spend every spare moment cleaning up or doing other jobs

All my DC have been taught from the start that mum can only read or play with them or allow friends over if she has time and they can make sure she has time by doing their chores.

Another thing we do at home (i pinched the idea from a programme i saw on the telly about a lady that had 13 children) is to use a 'buddy' system. This works by getting the younger children to ask their siblings to do things for them BEFORE coming to me. so if they need something reaching for them or a drink or help putting on shoes, they ask a sibling. In return the sibling who has helped them earns TV or time on the computer or money - different things work for different children.

I cannot even begin to tell you what a difference it had made to my free time since we began.

Incidentally my children are aged
13.5
10.5
7
6
5
and only the 10 year old objects to the system!

Incidently they are

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MindingMun · 06/04/2008 10:23

Sorry about that last sentence - maybe i should use some of my free time to learn how to type correctly

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kittywise · 06/04/2008 11:36

Mindingmum that's a good idea I shall try it.
So if an older child helps a younger one how much reward would they get for say getting them a toy off a high shelf?

Also how does everyone deal with the emotional demands made on them by having so many children?

I constantly feel that some children are getting far more attention than others, because they are little really.

I make time for the older ones when the littlies have gone to bed but by then I am exhausted

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juuule · 06/04/2008 11:55

My older ones help the little ones if they are around. They help them because they should not because there is material reward attached to it. The little ones will help the older ones, too, if they can. Fetch things for them, that type of thing. I always thought that's how living in a family should be - helping each other out where we can.
Kitty your youngest are still at quite a demanding age. You probably notice that your 4yo doesn't need quite as much attention as your 2yo or at least not in the same way. I think it tends to even out over time so that they do get the attention that they need. By being observant you can notice who might be missing out a bit (if they don't let you know by their behaviour going a bit strange) and can address that. Obviously there are the times when they all want you at once and you have to sort each one out.

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kittywise · 06/04/2008 12:30

That's right Juuule. I notice when someone has hogged the limelight for too long. It's a case of always juggling isn't it?

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juuule · 06/04/2008 12:48

Yes it is and it's exhausting at times.

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MindingMun · 06/04/2008 15:59

kittywise - there isn't a set reward for small things like reaching down a toy, I just make a mental note of it and in the evening when we sit down to dinner everyone is keen to tell me what the have done for each other which is lovely.

Equally anyone who has gone to a sibling for help and hasn't received any is eager to spill the beans!

juuule - you are right, there shoulnd't be an automatic reward for doing what they should be doing anyway in a large family, but mine would be much less keen to do for each other if there wasn't any.
I do admire the fact that yours do it out of the goodness of their heart, however i was so overwhelmed and desperate for help when we started this that i would have promised anything to be honest.

Maybe now I'm feeling on top of things again, it's the time to cut down on the material rewards and see what happens

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cazboldy · 06/04/2008 16:21

I am with riven - If I get any time, it's usually about 10 mins, and I nip on here

My dh won't have us ask the older ones to help with/look after the little ones. He was the eldest of 7 and practically brought up the youngest 2 with his sister, and he feels it affected his relationship with them.

He says it was our choice to have the smaller ones and not theirs, and therefore it's our job to look after them.

He has no problem with them doing things for me or for each other, but feels that it should always be because they want to rather than because they have to.

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MindingMun · 06/04/2008 16:47

As for winding down, i'm addicted to on line bingo

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juuule · 06/04/2008 16:58

I agree with your dh, cazboldy, but I do remind ours when they are reluctant to help one of the others, when they easily could, that they will need help themselves one day and maybe the person they are not helping won't be so willing to help them. If they still won't help we let it pass but remind them again when they are asking for help.
We also try to instil in them from an early age that we all care about each other and so should help each other.
So, mindingmum, I don't think they always help out of the goodness of their hearts , it's more that their conscience pricks a bit and the thought that they might not get any help when they need it pricks a lot. It seems to work a lot of the time.
Having said all that they still moan about doing things and I end up doing stuff just to get it done without hassle

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cazboldy · 06/04/2008 17:08

I agree with you juule

it's not very often that they will out and out refuse to do something for each other!

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cazboldy · 06/04/2008 17:08

sorry juuule

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largeginandtonic · 06/04/2008 18:56

Juule i do the same with mine, they just need a gentle reminder sometimes One of the twins is particularly good with the baby.

Down time, erm. I am on here and watch a movie. I get infuriated watching regular tv because someone always interrupts it.

Mine are twins (id boys) 9
dd 7
ds 5
ds 3
ds 10 months.

Trying for #7

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sarah293 · 06/04/2008 19:13

Message withdrawn

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kittywise · 06/04/2008 19:53

LG&T, you are a brave woman. I am a bit though, but I haven't has sex for so long , it's never going to happen!!!
Also I'm worried for my PF

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largeginandtonic · 06/04/2008 20:49



I am always worried for my PF Kitty Cant wait to be pregnant again.
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