do your older dc help out with the lo's?

[Divastrop]

we went out for the day today,just myself and the 5 dc(ages 10,9,4.7,2.3,and 1)and the only way i could manage was to take 2 seperate buggies and have ds1/dd1 take turns in pushing dd2 in hers.also,on the coach i got ds1 to sit next to ds2,and dd1 to sit next to dd2(who puked)so they could supervise them while i held the baby.

anyway,i was thinking,am i really nasty to take my dc out for the day then get the older ones to help me ?or is it good for them to have some responsibility?

Hi Diva

I never expected my elder ones to look after the younger, but only had 5 years between all of them, so it wasn't really appropriate.

As DD1 and DS1 have both turned out horribly self centred I think we got it wrong... How else would you have managed yours on a day out on your own? I think it does them good to have to contribute.

Diva there were 3 of us, I was the oldest, then 2 years after me my first brother and then 7 years after him, our youngest brother. Because my mum was on her own and because there was such a big age gap, I did do a lot for my little brother especially once I was in late teenage years and my mum was working full time. I don't think there's anything wrong with the older ones helping out as long as they're getting praise for it and it's not expected all the time as it helps them become independant and makes them feel important and grown up at points. As even has said how would you have coped otherwise? I think the problem with my mum was she just expected far too much from me and my life stopped being my own.

thanks

i do have a dh but he is unable to come out with us.but i do have the option of just taking the older ones out sometimes.they attend clubs etc and i am able to take them/pick them up when the lo's are in bed.today was a one-off,i dont have a car so we rarely get out of town,it was a M+T group trip today.it was just a case of pushing a buggy getting to the nursery and back,and them watching the lo's while i went for a wee.oh,and finding dd2 in the soft play thingy once or twice.

i give them pocket money for helping out with the lo's,as it isnt something i 'expect' of them(like tidying their rooms/putting their clothes away).

I only have 2 dc, ds1 is 8 and ds2 is 3 months. Ds1 helps with ds2 (well he likes to try ) I encourage it all the way! He feels really proud for being able to sooth the baby and also always wants to push buggy etc. At the end of the day they are siblings and it is good for them to wokr together.

Why not?

My dad grew up in a family of 4 DCs all about 3 years apart - his mother would bf each for 2 years and then fall pregnant either just before or after weaning - and then they got a 'bonus' brother when they were teens/older children and all pitched in - with chores and looking after the younger ones.

I think it's why they were all so close as adults - still are, although 2 out of the 5 have died now.

Am pregnant with DC3 and DD1 already asking to help out.

Yes, please!

As my dad said, 'We're a family, not just Mama and Papa'.

I never really expected them to, but my older DDs (8 and 6) love helping with DD3 (7 months).

I think it's good for them.

god yes!

I am the oldest of 6, and I always helped out - voluntarily most of the time. I think it's good to give kids responsibility, and it makes things easier for you as well.

My ds1 is 16 and he helps out loads. He babysat when DH and i had a meal out on Valentines night.

He is babysitting tonight for an hour as DH is dropping me off at my MN meet up. Girls will have had dinner and had baths etc and he and poss his gf will read stories and put dd's to bed. The dd's are 3.5 and 1.5 and love their big brother to bits.

Ds2 can entertain them for 20 mins while i have a shower but too young to be left alone for lng.

Think they should all help out and mine don't mind.

were you nasty doing it??? - of COURSE you weren't!!!!!!!
It is all part of family life.

Yes very much so, the older 4 are 9,8,6 and 4 and they help out with the 1 and 2 year old, especially when we go out.

Diva, if they didn't help we couldn't go out, It's called working as a team and it's good for you.

My dd1 (6) will watch the baby and make sure dd2 (3) doesn't trash the house while i shower or tidy another room etc. She always wants to help and will feed the baby at any oppertunity! She is very excited about the baby im expecting and telling me how she will help me look after them all!

Dd1 will help with dd2 too actually. Fetch nappies,feed her yoghurt and help her with her coat etc.

My dsd is 17 nxt mth and is always doing stufff for the younger two and still does jobs round the house. my belief is that if she doesnt learnn life skills now then when she becomes a "adult" she wont know what to do. and that would be so unfair

Being 2 of 5 myself,and having 4 of my own now,I think it does them the world of good to help out,as long as you dont have them changing nappies,or up at night.

My older 2 are very helpful but of their own choosing IYKWIM. I never demand that they help with the younger two but they enjoy doing all of the 'adult jobs' like meal prep and cleaning so they just naturally started pitching in with the younger two as well.

DD1 (9) is by far the best person to help DD2 (2) get dressed for the day. There are no tantrums and she emerges wearing a compromise between real and dress-up clothes.

DS2 (6) is also really great with DD2!

Having given this some thought, I am going to give them a big thank you this evening for being so helpful and amazing lately.

I only have two but DD helps with DS.

As long as they aren't being forced to do it and never being children themselves, then I see nothing wrong with it.

Lovely moment the other day at Psychomum's - DS was out cold on the sofa, her DS1 walked over, stroked his head and sort of "checked" him, and then went back to what he was doing It was such a loving look on his face