Anyone got three with 4 year gaps between all?

[Ididivfama]

I have a four year old and a baby - absolutely love this age gap and tbh love that it hasn’t all been rushed and over. I feel like another 3-4 year age gap would be great before a third as it would be better financially and give them all lots of time with me. I had to leave my last job so it would give me time to find and settle into another one when my current baby is 12-18 months.

The only thing is I’m 34 and not sure if leaving it a few more years is too late. We did ivf and I have some embryos left so the plan would be to transfer one of those, so the actually embryo would be younger, if that makes a difference. Would it feel too long prolonging it all for a third time do you think? Has it caused issues with family time and do you wish the gap was smaller?

[pambeesleyhalpert]

My mum did this so I was 4 when my sister was born, I was 8 when my brother was born and my sister was 4... we did all argue quite a bit but now we're all in our 20s/30s were really close and have been for prob 12 years. Me and my sister would fight the most when we were younger but no one fought with our brother!

[Ididivfama]

@pambeesleyhalpert

My mum did this so I was 4 when my sister was born, I was 8 when my brother was born and my sister was 4... we did all argue quite a bit but now we're all in our 20s/30s were really close and have been for prob 12 years. Me and my sister would fight the most when we were younger but no one fought with our brother!

Do you think it’s good for the middle child? I also worry about that.

[TinyTeachr]

Ive got 4 years between DD and DTwins and then had DD2 3 years later. I was 36 then, so similar to your possible situation.

I love a 4 year age gap. DD2 was conceived unexpectedly on way cycle (after previous secondary infertility, progesterone very low) so we were really am going for more than 3 year gap second time.

I love the fact that my eldest really understands the baby. There's no jealousy as their needs are so different. She shows her off to get friends at school and they all cop over the cute baby 😍

I've really enjoyed her each child has had the opportuniy for individual attention because older ones are more independent andalso settled at preschool before the next one comes along. That matters to me. Sleep issues, potty training etc all out of the way.

I think middle child issues might be down to a lack of time and attention. In my mind that is easier to mitigate with larger gaps. Just a theory though.

[Happytimes123456]

I have a younger brother who is 4 years younger and an older sister who is 4 years older. We are all so close now. Growing up I never felt left out as a middle child.

[WeightoftheWorld]

A bit less but we have 3 yrs 4 months between 1 and 2, and there will be almost exactly 3yrs between 2 and 3 all being well. The age gap has pros and cons really and I can't comment on the effect on the middle child yet, or what you should do with your fertility. I'm younger than you with my 3rd though and I definitely felt my age reassured me into having slightly larger age gaps. I can't say what I'd do in your shoes but I would cautiously suggest that if you're sure you want another, it might be better to plan for say 2.5 or 3yr minimum age gap instead given your age and see what happens.

[Mohammammy]

I don't have experience with such large gaps between children, but I think every family is unique and what works for one may not work for another. It is important to listen to your desires and circumstances. If you feel that taking extra time between children would be better for you financially and in terms of time spent with the children, then this may be a good decision.