New baby - Competitive families

[chachasliding]

Has anyone had experience of competition between the two families when a new baby is born?

Our baby is 5 months, first grandchild/nephew on both sides.

I am very close with my family and see them a lot. My in laws have recently put pressure on us saying they don't see him enough and turned it into what feels like a competition by bringing up how much I see my family. I think they're loosing sight of who's baby this is and the fact that my family are also spending time with me. It's not even that they don't see him a lot - every couple of weeks which is more than enough!

You'll be very grateful for the competition in 6 months.

yes. Absolutely and also competition within families for number of children/how 'gifted and talented' children are etc.. it is all completely irrational and I would zone it out and not get involved. The years when your children are small are so special and I would carry on with doing what you feel is best for them.

perhaps your DH should up his game?

See them as often as it suits you.

My in-laws complained that they didn't see our kids enough when they were young but they always expected us to go to them, were never willing to come to ours or available to babysit. My family saw them often because they helped out so I could afford to go back to work with dh working away long stints. Fast forward over a decade their other son had kids and they are not bothered for our kids, happy to go to BIL's often, have their kids overnight and when they are at work too. Honestly glad I didn't make more effort for them in the early days.