So torn | Mumsnet

Runnerduck34 · 29/02/2024 22:31

Follow your heart. You'll regret it if you don't.
It will be alright.
I was unexpectedly pregnant with DC number 4. Huge shock, was was financially struggling , constantly stressed.
But as soon as she was here it all fell into place.
You will adjust, it will be ok.
Obviously if you decide on abortion that's fine too.
Is there anyone you can talk to IRL? Give yourself time to process it.

Outliers · 29/02/2024 22:32

Farmwifefarmlife · 29/02/2024 21:41

Looking for a hand hold and advice

2dc DD 6 DS 15 months
I've just found out yesterday I am pregnant, my heart longs for baby no 3 but we lead busy lives I run a business from home and DH self employed long hours we also have a small holding so slot of work. DH so far has said it’s my decision. I’ll be honest he wasn’t the most supportive DH during pregnancy & the newborn stage and i finally feel life is back on track.

I know an abortion will rack me with guilt and I’ll be likely to not forgive DH for some time over it. I worry life will just be too much with 3. I am so torn over what to do.

I think first thing to do is list and explore what your concerns are.

What can be mitigated with adjustment? What is a real unmovable risk? What challenges would you deal with? For how long would you expect things to be most difficult? Why do you long a 3rd child? What positive things would a 3rd add? Would this be your last child?

These are things to reflect. It's not for me to tell you what to do.

Original poster

Farmwifefarmlife · 01/03/2024 06:54

Thank you both for your replies. I don’t know why I want a 3rd I just do. We have a big enough house, would need a bigger car though. Concerns are mine and DH relationship , the first 12 months are so hard lack of sleep and newborn stage is generally difficult. Worried about not having enough time for 3 children and the older one feeling neglected. Worry incase something is wrong with the baby or something happens to me. I’m 28 DH is 38. It’s just such a big decision, I also like sleep!

OP posts:

Outliers · 02/03/2024 00:57

Farmwifefarmlife · 01/03/2024 06:54

Thank you both for your replies. I don’t know why I want a 3rd I just do. We have a big enough house, would need a bigger car though. Concerns are mine and DH relationship , the first 12 months are so hard lack of sleep and newborn stage is generally difficult. Worried about not having enough time for 3 children and the older one feeling neglected. Worry incase something is wrong with the baby or something happens to me. I’m 28 DH is 38. It’s just such a big decision, I also like sleep!

Nothing lasts forever. They grow up and sleep eventually

TakeOnFlea · 02/03/2024 01:02

Nobody here can tell you. I think people are crazy giving "advice" here. Nobody knows what you can afford to do

SeulementUneFois · 02/03/2024 01:05

At the end of the day what would be more beneficial for your two existing children is that you don't add another child.
Who would take time, attention, resources away from them, and likely worsen the relationship between their parents for some time.

Safxxx · 02/03/2024 01:19

Go with the flow op things always work out at the end. Worrying is normal your in shock, early days and hormones all over the place. Take it easy you will be fine, hubby and your other two kids will all be fine ❤️🙏 congratulations, hopefully all goes well, Everything will fall into place.... worrying about the future won't do you any good...deal with it when you gst there...relax you can handle it ❤️