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Why are three so much harder than 2?

58 replies

Newsenmum · 18/02/2024 23:25

mostly curious as not sure I can convince dh just yet, but why is 3 so much harder than 2? For us 0-1 was very difficult. Lots of reasons there, probably not helped by ds having additional needs. Due to that, the jump from 1-2 has been incredibly easy in comparison! Age gap is 4 years. With another 4 year gap, is 3 still so much harder?

Also what car do you get? That’s what I can’t work out!

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mrssunshinexxx · 21/02/2024 08:14

@Franticbutterfly totally agree I saw a bit of this with my second but hoping my third will be more chilled and a couple days a week when others in childcare that it will be like my first but with the experience of it being my third

Mrseven · 24/02/2024 20:22

Everything everyone said plus this:

It’s always been easy for me to get 3 toddlers ready in a little pack, package 3 little ones off to the park, cook for 3, play games for 3, give each one cuddles, then synchronised bedtime for 3. School run for three. Etc. all the group stuff is easy and a piece of cake when they’re small!

it gets trickier when they grow up and start living separate lives (and you want to be part of their lives)

with 3 kids you’re doing 3 parents evenings, 3 after school sports clubs, 3 tucking in at night, 3 young people with a life to chat to and worries to listen to, 3 matches at weekends, 3 birthday parties to organise. So you can actually add how much more work it is in real numbers! It is a lot and honestly, you’ll be giving your all every day.

Then when the older two are off to do their own thing in half term and you could be finally free to work more you still have a 10 year old to entertain. So another week kind of shot.

3 people to bicker more among each other, the opportunities for clashes seem endless! And mine do get on generally.

Also if you currently have two, add a third more noise level, laundry volume, dirt and marks to wipe away, spills to clean up, toys to tidy up, days off work for a sick child. Just add a third to everything you’re doing.

I wouldn’t change my 3 for the world but three is hard and takes sacrifice.

We have 2 year age gaps.

VivienneDelacroix · 25/02/2024 19:21

Canthave2manycats · 19/02/2024 00:06

@VivienneDelacroix none of my three has ever felt left out! They all seem to think they are the favourite child!!!

Not left out by me! By one another, when they do things together. Obviously they are all secure in their relationship with me.

Himawarigirl · 01/03/2024 11:49

What @Mrseven said. I love having three but the constants demands and needs are relentless and logistics are headspinning, and between the three of them the illnesses go on forever. So there are obvious downsides but it’s absolutely the right number for us and I do love it. And the dynamics can be great. For my middle one, instead of just having an older sister who often gives him a hard time, he also got a little brother who thinks the world of him.

Notallscumbags · 07/03/2024 16:21

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 19/02/2024 07:22

I’ll let you know in 7 weeks when DS is here. We have 2 DDs currently - 10yo and 3.5yo.

The things I’m worried about:

  • I can’t cuddle them all at the same time
  • We’ve sorted car seats for my Hyundai Tucson but if anything goes wrong, our other car is much smaller!
  • DDs are now sharing a room but we’ll have to move soon
  • Paying for three for everything… Holidays, Christmas, birthdays, clubs.
  • Making sure each child gets 1:1 time with DH and me.
  • We will have massive age gaps

However, I absolutely adore my DDs and they can’t wait for their brother to arrive. Going from 0-1 was so hard because we didn’t know what we were doing and DD1 was a complete Velcro baby. Going from 1-2 was a breeze by comparison as we knew what to expect and DD2 just slotted in. DD1 being older was helpful because she was that little bit more independent.

Would you mind sharing your tucson configuration? We have one at the moment but thought we'd have to sell before DC3 arrives

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 08/03/2024 16:04

Notallscumbags · 07/03/2024 16:21

Would you mind sharing your tucson configuration? We have one at the moment but thought we'd have to sell before DC3 arrives

We have an Axkid Move behind the passenger seat and a Joie Juva for the middle. DD1 is 10 so doesn’t need a car seat but she has plenty of space behind the driver.

user1492757084 · 12/03/2024 14:08

coodawoodashooda · 20/02/2024 21:57

Me too.

Same here.
We were experienced parents, we had all the stuff and the older two entertained themselves, playing together and helping the baby..

mum11970 · 12/03/2024 14:28

We have 5 in total with a 3.5-4 year age gap between each and a 15 age gap between eldest and youngest. We found a 4 year gap quite easy as the elder ones didn’t need so much of a hand hold when dealing with a newborn. Can’t really say whether the step between 2-3 was the hardest as dh came with two so I never experienced 0-1 and 1-2. All kids are now in adulthood and have a really strong bond even though they live miles apart and are at totally different stages in life.

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