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One kid to two - would you do it again?

18 replies

ButItHasCheese · 04/12/2023 09:15

DH wants more than one, I'm not sold 100% on the idea (but obviously can't wait forever to decide)

If you've got more than one, if you could go back, would you stay at one, or do the same and have more? (and I by no means want to imply you don't love your other kids)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
octoberfarm · 04/12/2023 09:36

100%. We've been so lucky that our kids get on famously, and seeing their relationship with each other has been one of the greatest joys of my life. That being said, it was a big step up for us (2 under 3 for a while) and the early days were hard, but it's been so worth it.

HarryOHayandBettyOBarley · 04/12/2023 09:37

No. I’d stick at one.

Also had two under three.but they are older now - one heading to secondary. I was unsure like you of having a second child. They don’t get on particularly well. We are constantly taking them to varying activities and financially we could not afford to give two the same opportunities. I’m more like a referee than a parent.

I would never have had a second if I’d know how difficult and stressful it would be.

And as they get older it gets harder. Goodness knows how we will afford university fees for both. I do not want them taking out loans etc as feel that is our job as parents to provide what they need until they are finished education.

LucyInTheParkWithDragons · 04/12/2023 09:39

Yes absolutely. DD2 has enhanced our lives (me, DH, DD1) so much.

theduchessofspork · 04/12/2023 09:41

You might want to stick this in chat, as this board is for larger families so you will get slightly different responses

OxfordshireMumOf2 · 04/12/2023 09:46

My 2nd LO just turned 1, I'd not be without them and neither would their sibling, its so lovely seeing their bond grow. Will I be having a third? NOPE. Before having my second I debated 2 or 3 kids and after having my second I can absolutely say I am done. Starting with a newborn over again is a hard no from me, but I'd no way of stopped at just the one.

lochmaree · 04/12/2023 09:57

yes absolutely. we dithered for ages on whether to have DC2, were one and done until DC1 turned about 20 months then all of a sudden we wanted a second.

Mumaway · 04/12/2023 11:29

No, probably not, but having had 2, we would have gone for 3 if pregnancy 2 hadn't nearly killed me. They don't really get on, I spend my entire life breaking up squabbles and doing laundry

gooddayruby · 04/12/2023 12:16

Nope. I'd stick with one every single time. My best advice is not to do it

HeraSyndulla · 04/12/2023 12:39

Two was OK but three was a stretch. We coped but it was hard work I could have done without, and it kept my husband in a job he hated. It wasn't much fun if I'm brutally honest.

CocoPlum · 04/12/2023 13:16

octoberfarm · 04/12/2023 09:36

100%. We've been so lucky that our kids get on famously, and seeing their relationship with each other has been one of the greatest joys of my life. That being said, it was a big step up for us (2 under 3 for a while) and the early days were hard, but it's been so worth it.

This. Mine do bicker, and they would deny it, but they are so close.

idontlikealdi · 04/12/2023 13:18

I got twins so we had to stop but I'd love another baby but then fee conflicted that they'd get a singleton experience so it's a no. I would have gone from one to two

AmazingDayz · 04/12/2023 13:23

I have four. If I had my time again I would have had 1 or none.

SingingSands · 04/12/2023 13:24

Yes. DC2 slotted in so easily to our existing life. We had a four year gap though, and that was planned to make life easier for us (childcare mostly as we have no nearby family to help).

I was happy to stop at 2, was never ever tempted to add any more!

Kaybee93 · 07/01/2024 22:24

After our first I was adamant that we would stay at 1. DS wasn’t a great baby and I had PND. But after 2yrs and after we’d thrown all the baby clothes out…. We decided to have one more. DS2 slept better than DS1 and the nearly 3yr age gap was perfect. There was the initial omg what have we done on the first day back home but that soon settled haha. I can’t imagine life without 2. Now they are 10 and 7 and we are debating a third.

SammyScrounge · 25/04/2024 02:12

We had the two that we planned and then a lucky accident. He was.every bit as gorgeous as the girls were. Love isn't limited to the children you planned. It was exhausting for a while but worth it. I wouldn't change anything.

Flowersonmyorchid · 29/04/2024 19:19

Yes. There are exactly two years between mine (to the week) so it's been pretty full on, but I'd absolutely do it again. It was the right decision for us.

TadpolesInPool · 29/04/2024 19:55

Ive got 2 boys, both ND, and I don't regret havig them a single minute. Yes its hard work but they get on so well and the 2nd one diluted our very intense first one. Our eldest hated someone else having my attention. But he made an exception for his baby brother.

Now 12 and 10 and its just fantastic. They are VERY different people but get on well and spend a lot of time together no problem.

They also learn from each other which is invaluable.

WimpoleHat · 29/04/2024 19:57

We've been so lucky that our kids get on famously, and seeing their relationship with each other has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

I came on this thread to say exactly this. I never minded being an only child….when I was a child. As a adult, the lack of wider family relationships and the burden of elderly parents has weighed heavily.

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