We have 5 but want another?

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Original poster

Whats1more6 · 22/11/2023 21:39

Bump

OP posts:

NorthernAttitude · 22/11/2023 21:41

No, it's not wrong at all. If you can provide for your children emotionally and financially then it's up to you. It wouldn't be for me but each to their own.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 22/11/2023 21:42

If you can provide for them financially, emotionally and give them the investment of your time, fine. If you don’t have the time to dedicate to each child, then don’t.

I’m about to have my third and will be stopping after this as I know I won’t be able to split myself any more than that.

PiggieWig · 22/11/2023 21:44

Sorru, I’m not a regular on this board - I only have two. I’d have loved to have more but for me it was whether I could afford to provide for more (materially), whether I could continue to meet the needs of my existing children, and whether my relationship could withstand the additional responsibility.
For me, in the circumstances I was in, it was no, but if you can and you are both keen then why not?

Original poster

Whats1more6 · 22/11/2023 21:50

We both make sure to make time for each of our children, we are all very close and they each have meaningful relationships with family members aswell.
Life can be stressful but we always come through it stronger and wiser and closer. I thought we were done but when my dh mentioned another, something in me felt the same and feel another would be just as wanted and loved as the others

OP posts:

Redlarge · 22/11/2023 21:52

Up to you. But unlikely you can meet the emotional needs of all those children and you will deal with that later. But you do what you want.

BananaPyjamaLlama · 22/11/2023 21:56

Yes. Its unreasonable to want another. Its a want not a need. Five is plenty.

Xmaswomble · 22/11/2023 21:59

I love being a mum and he loves providing for us. Is it wrong to want a 6th?

yes. On both these statements. You don’t need 6 kids when the world is going to hell in an environmental handcart. And the thought of a man ‘providing’ whilst you churn out kids? Well that’s just gross

newnameforanewday · 22/11/2023 22:37

How do you make time for them all practically and emotionally?

We have 2 and help both with homework, taking them to clubs, volunteering at clubs they go to, hosting play dates, prepping stuff for non uniform days, etc. it all takes so much time. I'd love to know how you do that x 5, let alone for 6. I think I need tips!

Raspberrymoon49 · 22/11/2023 22:42

It’s irresponsible when the world is over populated and destroyed because of it, never mind whether someone can afford to bring along another life, it’s a selfish choice for the world we live in today, it’s also impossible for 2 people to fulfill the needs of 6

Shinyandnew1 · 22/11/2023 22:53

I would worry about personal space for them as they were growing up-do you have a 7-bedroomed house? What about transport for journeys?

KateyCuckoo · 22/11/2023 22:56

How old are your children?

DaughterNo2 · 22/11/2023 22:57

Shinyandnew1 · 22/11/2023 22:53

I would worry about personal space for them as they were growing up-do you have a 7-bedroomed house? What about transport for journeys?

This ☝️ Also if ‘he’ wasn’t there, can you afford to house/ feed all those children?

SpaceRaiders · 22/11/2023 23:05

It’s rarely just about feeding and clothing them though is it? Can you afford tuition, extracurricular, sports, music, holidays, help with university fees, driving lessons, money towards deposit for their first home etc. Life is getting increasingly harder for younger generations, the least you can do as a parent is provide adequately for the ones you already have.

WhatTheShizzleHappenedHere · 26/11/2023 06:13

It's really weird that people who hate large families are always the first to comment on this board. It's the "larger families" board, don't come here if you don't support it.

Absolutely have another one, if you can provide it with love and support they require. Having already have 5, I imagine you'll know exactly what that entails, and whether you are capable of it.

stillusingbottle · 26/11/2023 06:48

Can you also provide for them if he drops down dead tomorrow? That was one of my reasons to stop. Saw it happen to a colleague, it was awful.

determinedtomakethiswork · 26/11/2023 06:49

@WhatTheShizzleHappenedHere maybe many are like me who are from big families and have really suffered as a result.

MissBattleaxe · 26/11/2023 06:53

I agree with what Space Raiders said. Also, how about asking your existing kids if they want another sibling? You can't give 5 kids the attention you say you give them when you have a newborn/ toddler/ pre schooler. What if baby six has special needs ?

Desecratedcoconut · 26/11/2023 07:01

You are in a far better place to decide whether you have capacity to support another child in your home than a bunch of reactive strangers on the internet who hang about on the large family board with their cut and paste personal grudges about larger families.

TerribleWoman · 26/11/2023 07:07

I have 4, and honestly now they are university age it's a huge financial commitment. Obviously I don't regret any one of them, but I am enormously glad they are each 3 years apart so we aren't paying 2 sets of uni accommodation fees, around 10k a year. This is something I never thought about when they were tiny.

Coolhand2 · 26/11/2023 07:08

If you are both in agreement that's all that matters. How old are you guys?

Panicmode1 · 26/11/2023 07:15

We have four and I would happily have had another, but glad we didn't...now we have four teens (2 at uni, 2 at home) the costs over the past few years have been significant, and the emotional needs and challenges have required huge amounts of parenting input. I don't think I could have been fair to all of them with more.

If you have the time and resources to support an even larger family, then do so. Whether you have one more child or not, makes 0 difference to the environmental damage that China, India et al are doing to the planet.

(And I'd love to ask those people commenting negatively if their carbon footprints are perfect. How many drive large SUVs (even electric ones), fly to places on holiday, recycle everything, pass things on to younger children etc.)

LolaSmiles · 26/11/2023 07:24

If you can give them all the right financial, emotional, educational, material resources then how many children to have is up to you.

My reservation would be what I'd have to not give to existing children if I had more. If having more meant existing DC had fewer or no clubs, I didn't have the time to invest in their interests (eg Saturday morning fixtures and classes), I couldn't give them enough quality time as individuals around everything else, I couldn't support them through university if that's the path they choose etc then that would put me off.

Holly60 · 26/11/2023 08:42

Whats1more6 · 22/11/2023 21:50

We both make sure to make time for each of our children, we are all very close and they each have meaningful relationships with family members aswell.
Life can be stressful but we always come through it stronger and wiser and closer. I thought we were done but when my dh mentioned another, something in me felt the same and feel another would be just as wanted and loved as the others

To be honest I don't know why you are asking for opinions.

-You can provide for them all financially

you meet all of their emotional needs

-you both want another.

Why aren't you just doing it. What's the niggle??