Four children - reassurance

[Kenno85]

Hi,

I'm unexpectedly pregnant with my 4th, I only found this week. I have 3 boys aged 6,4 and 21 months. We live in a small 3 bedroom house. I'm feeling really anxious to be honest, my husband is supportive but we're keeping it quiet until we decide what we want to do. I'm 38 now and would be 39 once baby arrives.

I just wanted some experiences from people who have 4 children - I know we will manage as you always do and I know it'll be busy but we are a busy household now anyway! Guess I just want to know will we be okay and should I just drop overthinking.

Thanks in advance xx

I have four though ages are different. Dd 13, ds 6, ds 4 and ds 9 months. Going from 3 to 4 wasn't too bad really not as bad as going from 1 to 2. I have a very supportive husband when he's not at work he does more than his fair share of housework/childcare.

Littlest one has kind of slotted in nicely. Routine is key with school runs, dinner ect. Though the lack of sleep is some other form of torture when chasing a 4 year old around.
It's not put me off having another though 😊

I have 4 and love it.
I feel it gives us a great family/team/tribe bond - everyone feels part of something big. It’s good fun at birthdays, Christmas, outings, holidays- there is always someone to have fun with or do something with.
There is also great support for the kids. They are tight at school and clubs. They know someone has got their back.
I have always got them to pull their weight at home. They do age appropriate chores. As a result none of them are lazy layabouts - they are heading off to university soon and won’t be that person in the flat that everyone hates as they leave their dirty stuff on the floor or on communal tables/kitchens for others to clean up.
I also think they will make good adult partners - not “divorces waiting to happen”, as I have heard partners who don’t pull their weight with the chores described. They realise they need to do their fair share of things.
They are sociable and good at sharing. They are also aware of how others feel and consider the needs of others- as a result they are, I’m proud to say, well liked by peers at school. Teachers remark how well they work as part of a team.
We have a lot of meals in the slow cooker with cheaper cuts of meat. We have veggie meals quite often.
4 is fabulous OP. I would never change it. Congratulations.

I found myself in a similar position, even considered abortion but just couldnt do it.
Did feel guilty about my existing DC not having own rooms, worried about not enough money , spreading ourselves too thinly but honestly out has worked out fine.
It is a shock so give yourself time.
DC4 slotted in, thankfully they were a contented baby. Birth was the easiest one i had but preganacy was harder.
Other DC loved them, no jealousy as they were used to sharing.
Older two and younger 2 have paired up so noones ever left out.
Yes can be tiring but as you are a busy household already so you will easily adjust.
Routine does help as does a supportive hands on partner.
It will be fine. Congratulations

I'm the oldest of four and my mum said that four was easier than three as no one was left out when we went to play. We are all still very close now and see each other and speak regularly. You will be absolutely fine. Enjoy your children and congratulations.

I have 4, aged 8, 4, 2 and 5 months. I was devastated when I discovered I was pregnant with dc4 but actually the dynamic of the family is so much better. Like @Lilacdressinggown says there is a real sort of tribe vibe to family life. I wish I knew how i would feel now back when I was pregnant. I also live in a 3 bed house but we're moving to another 3 bed house which has a better sized loft space to make a 4th bedroom (cheaper too!). I found going from 2 to 3 quite difficult, but my eldest has a different father so I think it was because when he's with him my second felt like an only child. Anyway, when I got to my 4th he really did just slot in nicely. Someone once said to me anything after 3 children you really don't notice.

I have four and I love all of my children dearly but if I’m being totally honest I struggle. I just can’t dedicate the amount of Individual time with all of them that I’d like to. It’s not something I would recommend to someone but I just try my hardest to make it work.