Managing three children

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I have a 3.5 year old, a 1.5 year old and an 8 week old. I feel like we are always trying to manage life and get by rather than play and enjoy day to day life. Every child is crying at one point and I feel like each one of them is missing out constantly as I cannot give them 100% of my attention and cannot always practice the parenting I would like to use. I also can't offer homemade meals etc for every meal as I would have done as I am constantly just trying to survive. I'm also more stressed and shouty than I would like to be 😢😢 We always just trying to get by, keep everyone as happy as I can while keeping everyone safe.
The oldest is at nursery for part of the day & I can take the middle child & baby to classes which helps.

I guess I just want reassurance that having three kids so close together will benefit them in the long run and it will get easier 😢

Hopeful bump for you op

Can you/do you sling the newborn? It's very early days - the feeling of survival will pass, they will be fine on oven food/finger tea/etc for now- can you do paper plates one night a week so there's less washing up?

Find the biggest air fryer you can afford (gumtree etc?) And then get dishwasher silicone liners from Amazon.

Hopefully you have a double buggy and a buggy board, and pile all the kiddie bits and bobs and the kids into that. Get a cup holder for taking a warm drink for you.

Find a second hand playpen and put the newborn in it, or the toddlers vice versa. Or a travel cot if space is limited...

I was in your situation a year ago exactly and it was tough especially those newborn nights, and then having to be switched on throughout the day and juggle everything. It was difficult but we got through it, and my youngest is now nearly 14 months old, eldest started school so things are bit calmer somewhat (being on top of school admin is another ballgame!). But it’s so nice to see all 3 getting along with each other and interacting. Finally having proper sleep with the youngest in her own room. More free time during the day and less nappy changes now that middle child is potty-trained. It’s all about the small wins. Be kind to yourself and hang in there, it really is worth it! ♥️

It does get easier, I had a 3 year old and newborn twins. It was just about surviving in those early days.

Now my eldest is coming up to 6 and the twins almost 2.5, it’s nowhere near as hard. Certainly not easy and there are new challenges but we get more sleep now and somehow the toddler cries aren’t as piercing as baby cries.

I don’t manage home cooked food for every meal though!

I've got the same spacing and I'm in pretty much exactly Spooky1408's position, though I'm much less zen and the 13 month old is way off sleeping through the night in another room.

But what I often find toughest is the feeling that I'm struggling when it shouldn't be so hard. But do remember that of course it's hard! Childminders are only allowed to mind three at a time under compulsory school age, and they can usually do that on a reasonable night's sleep, with a bit of downtime, for a limited number of hours each day, and they probably don't take ill children or need to do it if they're ill theirselves. And if a child were to be constantly disruptive, they'd be able to ask the parents to find other care, which of course isn't an option here.

It does of course get easier and more fun over time. There's a lovely mum of three at DD1's school whose youngest is the same age as my oldest who can tell me how much better and easier everything gets. Do remember that the vast majority of people have no way to understand what it is you're going through.

You are in the survival stage so don’t feel bad about that. In the early days of three children I just took it a day at a time. Even now when they are older (youngest is 4), someone always needs something all the time and juggling their needs is a challenge but they are better able to wait or understand who has priority. But with an 8 week old in the house it will always be crazy and difficult. You will get through it but what you’re doing is hard so don’t feel bad if it feels a mess a lot of the time at the moment.

I remember feeling like having three children is like being on a treadmill set slightly too fast while you are also juggling and extra things keep getting flung at you to dodge! Some days are just about getting to the end of a day intact.
it does get easier. The initial survival gets better once you have at least 2 of them sleeping all night and/or one starts school.
Once they are a bit older it's a big advantage to having them close in age because they are all in to the same sorts of things at the same time. Mine were just 4 and 2 when youngest was born. They are now all teenagers and juggling their needs is still hard but nothing like the early days of 3!