Hi everyone!
So Myself and my partner have moved back in with my mum with our one year old so that we can save for a mortgage and get out of the renting game and also help her out as she was struggling.
in about 6 months we will be ready for getting a mortgage and house hunting.
Our issue is, we've been back for about 9 months, we've been shouldering most of the bills, my mum will get bits of food in etc and pay towards bills but she only makes £600 a month with her job and her bills are about that.
Now my 28 year old brother lives here as well... He doesn't work, doesn't claim benefits, smokes weed (in his room) and he does not contribute at all to the household, he eats the food that we provide and all he does is sit in his room 24/7 either sleeping or playing on his playstation. He doesnt do his dishes, leaves his hair all over the sink when he shaves, doesnt use the toilet brush when he goes to the toilet will just shut the lid down. Its absoloutely horrible living with him. He leaves everything to my mum and treats her like a skivvy, he dropped dirt on the floor yesterday and said oops sorry, and I said "so your just going to leave it for Mum" and he laughed about it and went up to his bedroom. My mum never says a word she just got out the sweeping brush and cleaned up after him.
When we first moved in he stopped smoking in the house, but in not long at all he started smoking in his bedroom, i can smell it every single day, i've mentioned it a few times but nothing changes. it upsets me terribly because of my little boy, Im also now pregnant with my second child. Ive explained about not just second hand smoke but third hand that gets on everything and he understood at first, but his not caring attitude has come back.
He's never held a job for over 6 months, been out of work for years now.
Even when we leave my mum cant get any help with her bills / council tax because she has him living here so her bills wont decrease much when we leave, but we cant pay her bills as well as a mortgage but I would never let her struggle and neither would my partner, or issue is realistically we would be paying for my Brother as she would manage without him there.
I cant talk to my brother he will fall out with me as soon as I mention anything, my mums too scared to mention anything and tells me not to, he gets agitated quickly and is very clever at turning ANYTHING you say round on you and makes you wish you had not said anything and feel horrendous.
Im tired of watching my mum be used like a skivvy and just treated like the lowest rung on the ladder, and i'm tired of us paying for everything and him just getting a free ride and absolutely abusing it. He used to be so nice so I can see that lovely side still in there somewhere but its very very deep down now, you rarely see it. The weed has completely destroyed any empathy he had in him.
I wish I knew what to do.