Another thread about being broody for No.3!

[Dolly5678]

Sorry, I know there are so many threads on this topic so clearly I am not alone here… suffering from intense broodiness for 3rd baby.

If I describe our circumstances I would appreciate some thoughts on whether it’s total madness to have a third or not.

I’m 34, a SAHM. DS is 3 and DD is 1. Husband is a high earner but works long hours. Doesn’t travel but occasionally has to work a bit at the weekends and late into the evenings. When DD arrived we hired a nanny for 2 days a week (yup I’m a SAHM with a nanny, judge me all you wish but she saved me from another round of PND and has helped our family in so many ways).

Our house and car could accommodate a 3rd. Financially we could afford a 3rd, but I can’t predict the unexpected like redundancy etc…

I would wait until our youngest is 2 before TTC so I can enjoy 1-1 time with her more (my eldest goes to nursery weekday mornings).

I have always hoped for 3. My husband’s preference is 2 but he’s open to the idea of a third. He’s not massively hands on though so I’d have to accept that 3 will mean much, much more work for me. I am worried 3 will stretch us too far emotionally and as a family the chaos won’t suit us. My eldest is quite emotional and sensitive, he needs a lot of my time and energy. 2 children, one boy and one girl seems so neat, why is a third necessary? I love the baby and toddler stages, however tough they are. I had tough pregnancies and don’t relish the thought of it again but I know I could get through it. But would it make us happier? I read somewhere that statistically having a 3 child doesn’t make a family happier…

My neighbour has 3 grown up children and they all come over to visit often. I know that doesn’t happen with every family but it seems like a lovely, fun, close family unit.

Ohhh sorry for the ramble. I wish I could just snap out of it and be happy as 4. But I don’t feel done.

Please be kind (but honest!) in your responses, I know Mumsnet can be a bit bitchy sometimes 😂

First off, omg if we could have afforded a nanny we would have, so no judgement here. We had our in-laws living with us for 5yrs, they were only going to stay while I recovered from my c-section with DS2 and well it was nice for awhile.
I'm in the same boat!!!! I had PND with my first and swore I'd never have anymore and then after 3yrs the brooding came and so did DS2. My husband isn't hands on at the baby stage, he worked long hours and wasn't good with the sitting and holding baby for hours and overheats etc, but he is great once they start crawling and is in his element.
I think if you're relationship can handle it and if you're happy to go through it alone then do it. I don't mean do it alone obviously you'll have your husband but I know what it's like being the main parent, do you think you have it in you to do the brunt of the baby work? I'm not saying it in a pessimistic way btw. My situation is similar but different because I'm 30 with a 10 + 7yr old and they'll be able to help out more than a 3yr old. 3yr olds are still good helpers though ❤️

Yes I think the question is do I have it in me and would I enjoy it?! I’d hate to have a third and find it unbearably tough and wished we’d stuck with two.

It’s funny isn’t it, you swear you’d never do it again and then a few months or years later the hormones kick in and suddenly the thought of never having a newborn again is awful!

For now I’m trying to focus on the present and ignore the broodiness. I’ll see how I feel next year. I hope you figure out yours too!

I am the same, I really don't know if to try for a third... I have a 3 year old and 4 year old and they would both be such amazing big sisters. It is the extra money, and going back to newborn stage that I don't know if I could do again!

We've looked at fostering and decided that it isn't for us at this stage of life as we would be fostering siblings and although the idea of having more children is appealing, it's the extra pressure. We will foster when we are all older.

The baby stage? It's a blur and it doesn't last forever. Although let's all face it, it's a s* show at times and when you have a sibling there are moments when you think "OMG why did I do this to our family, we were great already and now I'm drowning." But then the moment of being overwhelmed and panicked passes and things are good again, better than good, things are great.

It's funny because after our first I'd tell everyone and anyone that we were stopping at one and I'd never have anymore. Then we threw all the baby things a few years later and about 6months after that we decided to have a second child 😂🤦🏼‍♀️ We've thought about it for the last few years a 3rd but we'll see.