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Original poster

POSITIVE stories of age gapes 7+ or 11+ preferably 3 children

17 replies

N400 · 10/08/2023 13:41

Hi, I'm looking for any positive stories of age gaps that are 7 ISH or 11ish years please?

All I read is doom and gloom so I just want to inject some positivity! I appreciate there's many negative stories but please just comment positive ones for my sanity ❤️.

DD1 will be 11 just and DD2 will be 7.5 when a no 3 comes along.

Wondering about how it's been whilst youngest is little but particularly what it's like when the elder becomes teens? A lot of what I've read is from the children who say they felt like an only child and never really spent time together as one ended up becoming a teen/high/uni etc. Just wondering if anyone has positive experiences of this! From a child's perspective too.
From an adult- do you feel like you have an only child ?

Thank you

OP posts:

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TheInterceptor · 10/08/2023 13:56

I ask eldest (8) if he felt left out when his siblings (6 + 3) were playing together. He said 'Why would I? I have sibling (1) to play with.' It'll be fine, OP.

riotlady · 10/08/2023 14:02

I’m 8 years older than my sister and we have a great relationship :) I loved having a baby to play with and when she was older she loved having a cool big sister. The tricky point for us was when she was 2/3 and I was 10/11- she was always having tantrums and taking my stuff and I was sort of old enough to be expected to put up with a certain amount of it but young enough to feel pushed to the side, but by the time she was 5 we were best pals again. I wouldn’t say either of us have ever felt like only children, although I know she missed me when I went off to uni- things like Christmas we still get matching stockings because that’s what we wanted when we were kids!

Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit123 · 16/08/2023 11:37

I have four siblings.. so my mum would have had a newborn, 4 year old, 8 year old and 10 year old.
Throughout teenage years/young adulthood we were all so close. Now we are all adults there isn't one pair of siblings that is closer to another, it is lovely.

REBM · 17/08/2023 07:21

I had three siblings OP, ten and twelve years older than me and one three years younger. I always looked at the older ones for help and wisdom and then my younger one was just the usual annoying little sibling. I loved growing up around them all. I have four myself now, eldest was ten then six when I had number three so not to dissimilar to you. Number three is two now and the older DC loved having a younger brother around. Number four followed unexpectedly less than twelve months later but even then the novelty for the older DC had not worn off and they love being together all of them

Aria20 · 17/08/2023 08:24

I was 8 when my brother was born. I loved him and helping look after/play with him until he was about 4/5 and he'd keep trying to come in my room when I had friends over at 12/13. I also moved out at 21 and he was only 13. I think we both felt like only children at times and we aren't close as adults - we are at different stages in our lives. He still lives with my parents so I see him when I'm there but if he didn't live there I doubt I'd see him often.

My older boys were 6&9 when my daughter was born. They loved her and doted on her. The age gap seemed fine.... but now the older ones are 14&12 and youngest is 5 - it's very hard. The older 2 whilst they argue at times have each other and always have. The youngest has no one her own age to play with and the older boys understandably don't want to play with her. They also tend to do their own thing in summer holidays now so the youngest is like an only child on days out. It's sad. I wish I'd had another 2 years after her so she had a sibling close in age but 4 was just too many for us.

Sorry it's not what you want to hear - it was great up until this year but 5yo and teens is a hard combination!

Iwannabeadog · 17/08/2023 08:28

My DH is the youngest of 3 with an 8 year age gap. I would say he felt like an only child growing up and isn’t close to his siblings now.
However he had a lovely childhood, felt very loved (maybe a bit spoiled!) and his parents were very chilled. He has brilliant friendships and sees them as his siblings.

CosmicFox · 28/08/2023 22:02

We have 3. They are DS12, DD9 and DD15 months (she was a surprise!) It's completely fine. The older 2 love the little one and we've never had any issues tbh. It was like having a first born all over again, I'd forgotten everything and getting used to the lack of sleep was tough but it doesn't last for long and she's sleeping well now.

I wouldn't have planned the age gap but it actually has a lot of positives, no jealousy, the older 2 like to help out and the little one is always entertained. We're considering a 4th but it would be more like 2 and 2 than 4 close together so doesn't feel as scary!

We're an easygoing, laid-back family so we've just adapted but appreciate it's more upheaval for some

Original poster

N400 · 06/09/2023 20:08

Thanks everyone. I've heard it's absolute hell once the older ones are teenagers and the youngest is on their own. Food for thought X thank you x

OP posts:

cherryassam · 06/09/2023 20:22

I am the younger sibling in the scenario - I’ve got two sisters who are 8 and 12 years older than me respectively and a brother who is 9 years older. We are all still very close in our 30s - 40s.

I guess the time I felt most ‘on my own’ as a child was when my younger elder sister left for university when I was 10 and I was on my own with my parents for the first time.

But all my siblings spoilt me rotten once they were working. One of my best memories from when I was about 13 was when my sister who worked in fashion took me on a shopping trip to Selfridges and bought me bits that my mum would never say yes to. It felt so cool and grown up as a young teen to have a sister living in London I could go and spend weekends with etc.

Then, not long after that my first nephew was born when I was 14 and that was a whole new world of joy for me. I am much closer to my nieces and nephews that were born whilst I was still at home with my DPs because I saw them so much when they were being looked after by my parents.

I genuinely wouldn’t change the age gaps for the world. To be honest I did like being the proper baby too.

Although it did feel like I had three mothers at times - I think my parents probably expected too much help from my sisters in particular when I was young. They were deemed free And endless babysitters in a way that was too much parentification looking back on it - so might be something to bear in mind.

CheshireCat1 · 06/09/2023 20:36

My oldest were 14 and 13 when I had my youngest. No issues at all, they’re grown now and all still support each other. I also have a sister 10 years younger and two older siblings, we all get on and see each other regularly.

sleepismyhobby · 06/09/2023 20:37

I have 10 years age difference my boys are very close occasionally sibling bickering . And days out a bit hard as have to be age appropriate. My eldest has just started work so this October it'll just be me and my 6 year old

Faz469 · 06/09/2023 21:56

We have a 10 year old and an 8 week old. No major issues so far. We've had a few comments from our older son about him no longer being the centre of attention which has always been dealt with straight away.

SIL has 3 kids. Oldest is 21 middle is 15 and youngest is 10. She's never had any issues. They've all adapted really well.

Kaybee93 · 12/09/2023 18:07

I'm thinking about a third and this will be the age gap.
Growing up I was the eldest of 7 and there is and age gap of 3,4,6,8,9,18yrs. My youngest half sister (18yr age gap) is weird because she is only 2yrs older than my actual son. I think it's down to parenting and how you do family time and try to foster the relationships.

Beenhereforever1978 · 12/09/2023 18:16

Mine are 23 and 14 respectively now, there was a period where eldest was doing her own thing a lot and lived away from her brother, but he needed more time at that age anyway so it worked out.

They are incredibly close now.

My mum and her brother have 11 years between them and have always been close.

My youngest sibling is 16 years younger than me and I struggled to pick him out of a line up in a photo a while ago, but he did have a different mum to me and we never really lived together. There's 11 years between me and the next sister down (there's quite a few of us!) and we are very close!

ElfinsMum · 17/09/2023 14:49

We have 12, 8, 3 here currently and we all adore the youngest, she is literally like our team mascot 😁

oneinamillieon · 13/11/2023 13:17

i'm 35 and my sister is 18. we've always been close and she is also very close with my eldest daughter (16)

Laureatus · 16/11/2023 22:43

There are pros and cons to any age gap, whether that's for the parents or the siblings, or both. I'm the youngest of 6; my elder 2 sisters are 16 and 18 years older than me so I don't remember them living at home - the eldest went to Uni when I was 3mo. My husband says they are more like aunties to me, but we've got closer we now all have children (so knowing them as mums has brought us closer). My other siblings are 7, 5 and 2 years older than me, but my brother who's closest in age to me is 3 school years above me the way the dates fall. So for 3 years I lived at home on my own with my parents as everyone had gone off to Uni and then moved out. I really enjoyed that time with my parents to myself as it were. I was annoyed to be left out of some things - my sister had a 21st birthday party while at Uni which all my other siblings went to but I never even heard of it in advance, she just presumed I wouldn't come. I am really close to these 3 siblings which is why I get really upset if I'm left out of things. I now live abroad which doesn't help as they all live within an hour of each other and share hobbies which I am not involved in, so sometimes I feel left behind. That's more of a situation thing than an age difference thing. I am still thick as thieves when I see them, and it definitely helped that I set up a siblings WhatsApp a few years ago so we keep in contact far more, and know that everyone is up to speed on things!

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