Siblings sharing guilt

[Starfish125]

Not sure if I've posted in the correct topic but not sure where else to put it!

Cut a long story short we bought a house last September, lovely 3 bed semi in Bedfordshire. We have a girl (9) and a boy (6). Girl has second biggest room and boy has box room. No problems.
Accidentally got pregnant, a shock but also a lovely surprise. Had a beautiful baby girl last month. Family is complete, however, although the baby will be in our room for a good while yet, I know eventually she will have to go in with her sister next year, so basically it'll be a 1+ year old sharing with a 10 year old. Not ideal, but I don't have a choice, room is big enough for 2 single beds but not enough for a partition wall. We have said we will move to a 4 bed once our mortgage agreement ends but that's 4 years away and we simply cannot afford to move, like everyone else we are feeling the heat of the COLC especially me being on maternity ATM. My daughter says she doesn't mind sharing but she's in love with the baby, it'll be a novelty for about a week. I just need some reassurance it's not the end of the world and people have done this before and it's worked out okay? I feel so guilty making a 10 year old share with a baby. And me and my husband won't sleep downstairs as one of my friends suggested, we need a bedroom at the end of the day. Thanks for reading I know it's a first world problem and people are homeless etc but I can't shake the guilt!

I’d be more concerned about the 13 year old and a 3 year old. Sharing your space with a toddler when you’re going through puberty is not ideal.
I’d be more uncles to put the younger two together and give the tween the smaller room.

Not much advice but I’m in the same position as you, we live in a 4 bed and had 3 children!
we had discussed another child but hadn’t 100% decided and then a few months later we were pregnant with twins.
we can’t afford to move yet and are also reluctant as our eldest is my step son and now he’s older (15) he doesn’t always come and obviously he has his own bedroom (biggest in the house).
we have considered moving his bedroom to the box room and having the twins share with their sister who is currently 8 but I feel sooooo guilty about it xx

Dh shared with his toddler brother when he was older than your daughter will be. It was fine.

My youngest two ( 9 and 5) share by choice. We have an extra room but they prefer to share. If your eldest changes her mind could your middle child share with the baby? Different genders don’t really matter when they’re little.

Agreed I'd let the younger two share the larger room and give eldest the small room to herself.

You'll be moving before it's a massive issue.

My daughter (2 y 8 m older) and son shared a room from when he was around a year old until she was about 8/9 years old. No problems at all. We bought bunk beds that could be two singles and kept the spare one in the loft until he was old enough to go on the lower bunk. They loved sharing a room and are still very close.

Yeah this is what I feel terrible about.. but I don't feel it's right to make my son (who would then be 10 share with a 3 year old) it's the same kinda problem plus opposite sex which I don't think is really allowed anyway.at 10 years.

Is your room big enough for a partition? Could you give the girls yours and move into second biggest room?

DH shared during GCSEs with his small (aged 5ish) DB. From what I can read between the lines it was a disaster and he feels impacted his grades…just be aware that a room (or somewhere else quiet) to study in will become a necessity at some point.

That makes me feel a bit better. As.i say it's not forever, but at such an awkward age! I'm sure.back in the day it was the done thing to share with two or three siblings,.I need more stories like that 🤣

Not really as we have an ensuite,.which has taken up a chunk of the room,.so daughter's is actually bigger.

dh shared with his brother till the day he moved out. It really didn't bother him.

In an ideal world yes we would have separate bedrooms and our own Space. You haven't mentioned any difficulties, disabilities or nuances except an age gap.
Up until fairly recently it would have been common to share a bedroom. No one would have had the angst you are displaying.
I shared with sibs.. db 18 months younger, DS ten years younger and little one db 17 years younger than me at different points. I wouldn't even have thought to question it. We didn't have the room
Dp always shared until he left home.
You have a plan and know you can move at some point. If you make it a problem it will become one.

Honestly this is excessive drama. Of course it's ok for siblings to share, even with an age gap.

There may be some challenges eg bedtime, having space to properly hang out, but these can be accommodated. They have to be.

You are extremely fortunate that you plan to move in 4 years - many people could not afford the costs associated with a move to a bigger house like that.

No disabilities/difficult children, so yeah you make a good point about making it a problem,.I guess I need to relax and not worry about something that might not be a problem

it’s allowed, There’s no law against it if that what you mean. I think if you’re on a council housing list notice is taken of opposite sex children sharing rooms for eligibility purposes but obviously if you own it’s a different matter. I’d be much more inclined to put the younger two together as long as is practicable. Routines, bedtimes are likely to be a bit closer than the toddler and the teenager. Failing that partition the larger bedroom with a stud wall or a divider to make two small singles.