Stick with two children or have a third?

[LLL2023]

I am a step-mom of the most amazing little girl with whom I've come to grow an incredibly strong bond with and see as my own, as well as a mom to the most amazing, mild and happy baby boy.

I ALWAYS envisioned myself having two biological kids, even when entering into my current relationship, knowing there would be three of us. But everything seems so perfect right now. Stepdaughter is not jealous at all and is obsessed with him. I am scared of a third ruining this dynamic, but equally scared to regret not having another one myself in the future, as giving birth and everything that came with it was the most magical experience EVER, and something I would love to experience again.

Any personal anecdotes or advice would be so lovely to help put things into perspective! :)

I have 4 kids. I think with every one you worry about it upsetting the applecart but honestly I think 3 kids is a lovely number. Enough to feel like a little gang and have a bigger family but not so many you feel overwhelmed

Your sons still a baby and it’s obviously a very new relationship. It’s a bit early to be even making decisions yet when you don’t even know if you’ll be long term yet.

@Whatames thank you for sharing your personal experience!

@Mumtothreegirlies Thanks for your comment. Are you referring to my relationship with my partner or relationship between the little ones? Partner and I have been together almost 6 years and I have cared for stepdaughter for 5 of those years, making that part quite stable. If you’re referring to the sibling relationship, agreed, that’s very new (under a year) and hard to make decisions on when unable to predict their future relationship. Simply asking for input as I would prefer my biological kids to have a small age gap :)

I think as long as there is no difference in treatment between biological and stepdaughter then whenever you feel is best. I have less than 3yrs between my two boys and I found that helpful because my eldest could walk etc and started nursery so I had more time with LO and felt less guilt with sharing time. I only mentioned the first piece because I come from a family where my own stepmum wasn’t very good and it was clear there was a divide between our half sisters and us. But hey everyone is human and sounds like you’re being a loving stepmum.

Have three! It’s lots of fun

Also, it’s easier with three because you can have some baby love and you’re not leaving the other one out - cos there’s two of them. Hard to explain, like you’re focusing on one not excluding one.