Bigger or smaller gap for 3rd baby?

[mammaofmany]

Hello, I'm looking for some 3rd baby advice from people who have been through it. I have 2 DC aged 4 and 2. We are thinking about having a 3rd DC but are unsure whether to go for it now or wait a while.

If we did it now the eldest would be 5 and youngest almost 3 when the new baby was born. However, I haven't been back in my job for a long time, we are hoping to move house in 9-12 months, and my husband will be doing some work away at that time.

Logically with all that said, it would make more sense to wait another year and have a 4 and 6 year gap... but part of me feels like we are building a family for forever, not just for the newborn stage, so maybe we should just crack on and deal with the chaos when it comes. I'd prefer a smaller gap for when they're older.

So as not to drip feed. We can afford it and we have family nearby.

Any advice?

You have a close gap between your children now... How did you find it?

I find it easy now, but I sort of struggle to remember how I found it when my youngest was a baby. I think for the most part it was fine, but certainly put a lot of pressure on us. I absolutely adore them being close in age now though, as we do everything together and they enjoy the same things.

I guess 3 kids close in age is a different ball game to 2 though!

Following as these are the exact ages of my DC and we have a baby on the way

Oh okay... Then it's your choice then, I personally find it difficult for them to be soo close in age I'd probably wait until they are out of nappies lol

It's hard work but fine. I had 19m between DS1 and DS2 and then 23m between DS2 and DD.
Biggest plus is they all like the same stuff at the same time..
Baby bit was organised choas. But there was a really brilliant period when they were primary aged and young secondary which was fab as they all played together.
Now they are all older teens it also lovely. Teen period has been tough tho. A lot of ferrying and hormones and angst! But also busy and fun

Oh and the endless rounds of exams year after year after year is hard work....

I have a 5yo, 3yo and 1yo. The 2 year gaps work for us but, as you say in your op, there are tons of factors to consider! As someone with much bigger age gaps between my siblings and me, I honestly think go with what works for you. There's over 12 years between my youngest sister and I and it's totally fine!

Just found out I'm pregnant, will have a just 3 and nearly 4 year old.
Wanted a slightly bigger gap, but then took a tad longer than anticipated - hoping they're close enough together as current two are very close.

If you'd like another, go for it or wait until you'd feel comfortable telling work eg when you've worked there a year

We have the slightly bigger gap you mention, ours were 4 and 6.5 when our third was born. For us it works. I thought maybe I would have wanted a smaller gap, but seeing a friend who went straight for three with small gaps and also mums of two juggling a baby and toddler made me realise how glad I was not to have to do that again. I’ve had a lot of time with our third to really appreciate him as our last one and the gaps seems fine (he is about to turn 4). They all play together a lot and there is loads we do as a family but we also divide and conquer sometimes to do things suitable (or simply a bit easier) for the older two but not him. But I think some amount of that is natural with three kids anyway when they have different interests, developing social lives and you want to give them individual attention or time in different combinations. It’s wonderful but very full on having three and I think any smaller a gap may have broken us completely!